Wesh friends, good or good ? I don’t know about you, but I personally had a really great week. For example, the weather was nice, I saw friends and maybe even had some picnics.
Gives you nice legs, huh? I admit, it’s a test to see if you read the intro because I’m the first to read other people’s articles diagonally.
Without transition, you know what? According to a rule based on my experiences and those of my friends, the more sex you have, the more chance you have of shitty things happening to you.
Oh, most of the time it’s nothing serious. For example, a small jet of sperm in your neighbor’s eye, It stings but it doesn’t make you blind.
Want more stories? Well, here is the list of many failures that can happen to anyone.
When you suck or perform cunnilingus, the liquid sometimes runs down your face like an unexpected shower.
The vaginal fart (or frout for short)
It’s simple: the vagina is a dead end. What goes in must come out. The back and forth movements bring air in… E when the air comes out it makes the sound of a protuberance.
It doesn’t smell, it’s just air. We are at level zero of LOSE ass. On the other hand, Mariam’s anecdote shows that we can decide not to care.
“ One day, a guy started giving me oral sex while fingering me, and let’s face it, it was pretty awesome.
Except who knows why, my vagina started rubbing continuously. Every 5 seconds, boom, a new fruit came out, right in front of the boy’s face.
I was a little embarrassed but the boy, loyal to his work, continued non-stop until he made me come.
Finally he came and hugged me amusedly and said “ luckily it’s just air and not real shit »! »
This guy is MY SURE BOYFRIEND.
How to avoid rubbing constantly? Know that pelvic floor exercises can reduce fruit problems.
Being smeared with love juice (or drool) after oral sex
Whoever licks with passion risks the flood. Clearly, when you suck or perform cunnilingus, the liquid sometimes runs down your face like an unexpected shower.
For Éléonore, it often starts when she takes care of a vulva” generous and open » (these are his words). When she gets up, she’s got it all over her face.
“ In truth, it can be quite exciting right now. On the other hand, the consequences can be a bit of a difficult situation.
I always ask myself: Should I wipe my face on the sheets?at the risk of looking like crap if I’m not home?
Should I wash my face in the bathroom or do I risk catching a cold? Or rather wait for it to dry while pretending to ignore what is happening? »
For my part, I’m more of the type who wipes on each other’s bodies. Whoever gives takes away, in a certain sense.
How to avoid finding it everywhere? Well… sometimes it’s part of the game, my poor Lucette. I have no solution to offer you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
“Usually my lover ends up crushing me with all his weight and I end up with his cock and balls pressed against my face. »
Choking in the 69 position
Brave people sometimes try to do a sixty-nine (yes that’s a verb because I decided it) while being underneath.
Angeline witnesses a predicted disaster.
“ It happened to me several times that guys wanted to mount me for a 69.
Usually, my lover ends up crushing me with all his weight and I find myself with his cock and balls glued to my face. »
“ So other than choking, I can’t do anything at all, so I try really weird things with my tongue and hands, just to save the day… I’m not sure if it works! »
My personal survival technique, it’s to impose the fact that I AM ABOVE, OK? Sorry, my goal in life is not to die under a testicle.
How to avoid death by age 69? Consider not putting one on top of the other, but both on the side!
Receiving a jet of sperm in your eyes
After jerking a cock, it may happen that he ejaculates. And when ejaculate spills, it can reach places where even shampoo doesn’t sting your eyes. That is, you guessed it: THE EYES.
“ I was masturbating my boyfriend and I saw that he was about to come but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to blame myself or the sheets…
So I naturally straightened his penis upwards, telling myself that his ejaculation would fall onto his chest… Except he got it in the eye!
He started screaming, his eyes were red, so I turned my little dick in another direction and it was EVERYWHERE!
On the sheets, on him, on me. So, well, we took a shower. »
How to avoid finding it everywhere? Always remember: a jet of sperm can travel far, so choose the direction carefully. And don’t hesitate to use your hand to receive the seed.
Having the vagina scratched by nails that are too long
The genitals are covered with a delicate membrane. If lucky penises are not generally found in “risky” situations (a priori, they are not penetrated often), vaginas know the danger every time you insert a finger inside.
A finger that has ONE NAIL.
Elsa says:
“ In general there are no problems with people who are used to touching the vulva.
But I’ve slept with girls who have only touched penises in their lives and it can quickly turn into a disaster.
Many have long painted nails… So if they’re not careful, they’ll rub my pussy while trying to touch me! »
How to avoid having your genitals amputated? Ask your partners to cut their nails and do it gently.
And you, what are the sexual failures that have happened to you?
Photo credits: Bennie Lukas and Alex Green (Pexels)
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
