Should I tell my ex’s new girlfriend that she’s dating a fat bastard?

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to rescue a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

I was dating a guy for more than three years when a friend of his confessed her feelings. I didn’t know at first and even tried to approach her. She took the opportunity to get close to him, playing the innocent.

A few weeks ago, she dumped me like a mess when we were living together and swore it had nothing to do with her. However, that same evening, I saw that she had sent him a message “goodnight my love, I love you” and that she had recorded it under the nickname “Bebou” in her phone.

Now that we’re roommates, he takes me for his maid, cat-sitter, and doesn’t act like a roommate. When I try to dot the i’s, he tells me that everyone is already pissing him off, starting with his new girlfriend (so called friend) but nothing changes.

I wonder if I should warn this new girl about his behavior. A guy who did this to her ex, who was always there to support him, could do the same to her. He deserves to know, right?

Thanks for your advice,

NOT.

Daronne’s answer

My little ear of corn,

Look, sometimes my arms fall off. It’s rare enough, I’ve been around enough on this planet not to be offended again, but it does happen sometimes and here we are.

There is so little in your mail that for a moment I thought I was living in a Vitaa song from the first half of 2000. From the tone of your letter, it is possible that we did not share the same generational references, but to situate it, she was the specialist about girls fighting over the heart of a fat, unfaithful loser.

I’ll tell you in no uncertain terms: I don’t want to live in that world. You don’t want to live in that world. Nobody wants to live in that world.

So read me carefully my pretty poppy.

Gorgon manipulation VS your boyfriend’s responsibility

Do I encourage someone to fake friendship with someone to distract their partner? NO. Do I encourage someone to flirt with a man in a relationship? Not anymore (hello crab basket). Would I have glands if a girl I know apparently flirted with Daron under my nose? YES. Will I immediately stop all contact with her? Also, as well.

But if the Daron decides to continue, it will be his fault. I have no particular affection for people who are ashamed of nothing and dare to do anything to achieve their goals, but I must say that their behavior interests me little. A bad guy is never more than a meaningless downfall (hey! That rhymes!) of a sparrow if he doesn’t find a receptive and motivated audience to spread his malevolence. An English expression that I will mistranslate for the occasion states that it takes two people to tango. If we had grown up all our childhoods on Manichaean tales where mischievous witches amuse cute, real-life princes, I’d like to know what Eric says to Ursula when Ariel isn’t around.

Should you tell your new girlfriend?

NO. You shouldn’t tell your new girlfriend and here’s why:

• His new girlfriend knows. If I understood your letter correctly (I’m not sure), this woman followed your lead for several months and witnessed your breakup live. She is now in a relationship with a guy who lives with her ex. In my opinion, you have enough information at your disposal for you to draw your own conclusions.
• Between the perfect little sweetheart and her rehired ex (in her version), who do you think she’s going to trust?
• By warning this new friend, you keep the bond. Especially since your warning is likely to have repercussions that will lead to other confusions and other exchanges. I understand that it’s hard to move on and that heated relationships feel less scary than no relationship at all. But believe me, it is better to die of his absence once and for all and recover quickly than to stagnate in this toxic crisis.

If you think, perhaps already, perhaps in hindsight, that you have been the victim of an abusive man and believe that he may pose a danger to her, I encourage you instead to confide your concerns to her trusted relatives of her own. They will be better able to intervene in any way. And if one day she calls you to complain about him, invite her for a drink. She becomes best friends. Go on an adventure together. Let me dream, we don’t need boys, I swear.

get your ex out of your life

I don’t know why you’re still living with your ex, but I guess you have no choice. Be that as it may, it is a disastrous project that must be abandoned as soon as possible. If you continue to live in your couple’s apartment, you may consider subletting it and joining two SEPARATE roommates with people who aren’t your exes. You can also do rotations, one sleeps in the apartment, the other at a friend’s house, etc. In short, there are probably solutions that don’t involve selling one’s organs to get out.

Leave without looking back little bird, live your life, be happy, you deserve it,

I leave you, I have to go to rest, this world is wearing me out,

bisette,

Your Daronne

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