I don’t want to leave with my girlfriend’s kids this summer, how can I tell them?

Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice wrapped in a touch of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to save a reader!

The question for the daronne

Dear Daronne,

My girlfriend has two children. I like them, but in small doses, they are small, loud, require a lot of attention, and are in her paws for half the year.

The problem is that he will have them all through August, when I usually go on vacation. It means that if I want to go away with my girlfriend, I have to drag her kids around and, frankly, that pisses me off, even though I’ve always played the game well up until now.

How can I get her to do without it this year?

Help!

You kiss

cams

The answer of the daronne

My little camel,

So, I’ll tell you right away: it’s hot what you’re asking for, and by hot I mean impossible. No, you can’t tell me that impossible isn’t French. What a stupid expression, frankly. It is totally French as a word and besides, it applies to many things. ” Would I like to jump from the 15th floor and fly in the clouds? “” You can do it, it’s impossible, it’s not French ” and that’s how you get charged with flu murder. So here it is, ask your girlfriend to go on vacation alone with you, on the originally scheduled dates, she is dead.

Holidays with children, a heavenly hell

I would like to reveal a little secret to you. A little secret that parents of 2022 find it hard to confess as it is now in the public domain that a boy, it sucks.

We often pretend, but we actually like to leave with our children. We moan, we annoy you on the beach, we throw sand on your towels, we look like zombies, WE ARE ZOMBIES, we spend our time cleaning things stuck on our faces, we suffer abominable moral harassment for an ice cream cone, we drink a measly 0% for an aperitif, we go around with our backs bent and aching, our hands clinging to anti-UV T-shirts in which they gesticulate possessed by demons who absolutely want to drown in the large pool of the swimming pool.

Yet we love it. I’m not saying we don’t want to go alone for even a week or two to recover from all those sand-filled chips. But it’s nice to spend some time with them to discover family things and see them grow 10cm in a week.

So asking a mother to give up her two-week summer vacation with her kids? I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe because I’m a daronne precisely. At the same time, if you didn’t want a mom’s answer, you wouldn’t have sent your question to someone who signs her letters for Mum. You have to know what you want in life.

Don’t ask, don’t tell and everything will be fine

I usually recommend that you communicate and ask clearly what makes you feel good. Here, I would tell you on the contrary to close it. No, asking your girlfriend if we can’t leave our kids over the holidays is not a good idea.

While admitting that he hates to go away with his family and that his secret dream is to share his summer with you and only you, I highly doubt he has a magical solution to offer you that will delight both of the aforementioned children, the mother in question, and the last minute care manager.

Babies probably want to leave with their mother and vice versa and if you arrive and tell her that you want to leave with her on the scheduled date, but that you don’t want to worry about tadpoles for 15 days, that won’t change anything.

You will only have ruined a bad mood and your girlfriend will spend the holidays stressing and walking on eggshells. Leave this poor woman alone.

Consider the alternatives and ask the right questions

They don’t condemn you so much for supporting another’s mustards during your vacation. We also agree that parents or not, the brats of others, on the whole, is hell.

So, you can choose to postpone your vacation, or take advantage of these two weeks to take a solo vacation. As for the trip you dream of together, since I understand that children are not always in your hands, nothing prevents you from organizing a stay (10 days at the end of the world or 24 hours in your living room) at other times, when children are with the other parent, grandparents or even at the kennel, what do I know.

It hurts the buttocks to think that for a certain number of years (and certainly until the end of time) we will always come second in the life of the person we love, but well since that’s the way it is, we can ‘Do nothing about it, resign ourselves and go to the next step. That is, acceptance or separation.

Because one thing is certain, it is legitimate not to want to have small or large children in one’s life. But it is less so to make the owner of these children understand that you would do without them.

Perhaps she too would be fine without them, perhaps on the contrary, she no longer imagines life without them, perhaps a little of both, but these children are there. It’s up to you to see if you accept the whole package, or if you’d rather embark on an affair that won’t be parasitized by a kid you would have done without.

Personally I do not judge, on the contrary, I prefer to get to know my young and happy readers in their life, rather than seeing them take paths that do not suit them in the name of a vague convenience that does no one any favor.

I leave you, I have to finish packing the whole family,

bisetta,

Your Daronne

Photo credit image of one: JackF