My mother -in -law is not someone I appreciate. We have no real conflicts, but we have no common value. It is often silent in the face of certain reflections during family moments. But he went still until I have children. My spouse and I met in 2017 and we got married in 2020. Our daughter was born in 2021 and our son in 2023. Before the children, I didn’t remember I had received reflections towards me. Maybe it happened, but it was nothing surprising.
A stepmother with inappropriate words also with his son
On the other hand, she came to my husband, in particular on her weight, without advice on the issue. They were style comments ” You got stuck, you should be careful “Or” It is because you eat too much bread that grows“. He is not alone with him, he does it with all his children.
At the time, when we announced that we would get married, his first reaction was to ask us because we did it, that it was useless. According to her, in its time, marriage was a mandatory passage, but for us it had no interest. She and my stepfather told us that we shouldn’t count on their help. Neither for the organization, nor the same day of the wedding, telling us that they would come to taste the meal, that they would then leave and that it was not necessary to hope for help for the dishes.
“” I wear it like an African mother »» »
Today I have two children aged 3 and 10 months. Since then I have been entitled to many reflections, barely veiled, along the way I take care of them.
It started from the birth of my daughter. I was taking him a lot into a slingshot. I was treated with phrases like ” You know, the strollers exist “Or” I wear like an African mom “(Unfortunately it was not a compliment, but rather a racist comment) or” You will suffer it, does not know how to breathe in there“.
Another example: little, my daughter didn’t have much hair. When he started having a sufficient length to make them fall in the eye, I tried to tie them as I could, making it one or two small quilts in the head. When my mother -in -law saw him, he said to my daughter: ” Oh, your hair is ugly! He hurt me, that we dare to tell such a young child that his hairstyle was ugly, when I do everything to make my children trust.
Toxic words of his mother -in -law
When I got pregnant with the second child, we were on a small cloud. After the first gynecological meeting that had just confirmed that everything was for the best, we announced the happy news to my in -laws. My mother -in -law’s reaction shocked me at the highest point. He took a look at the ultrasound that my daughter told her, he told us ” You will be overcome And left.
In the end, from a certain moment, he decided that it was time that my daughter was clean … After the arrival of her little brother, my older daughter was in decline, so absolutely not ready for cleaning.
My mother -in -law decreed that it was our fault “, Because my daughter felt bored to change her ” AND ” Because he was still putting the bodies“.
Great -grandparents in the family
In the meantime, my stepfather is quite kind and attentive. But it is often on the moon or occupied in another room. Sometimes he tries to defuse the situation when he sees that I am really injured. But I don’t dare to take too much position against his wife.
My partner does not really intervene when he hears his mother’s reflections. It is not that he agrees with her or that he is afraid of his reaction, it is rather because he knows he won’t question himself. He is very independent compared to her and does not give much importance to what he can say. Often disapproves, but he doesn’t like direct conflicts and therefore prefers to keep silent.
So far, my 3 -year -old daughter has not yet had reactions when he has heard his grandmother’s words. When it happens, I wonder what he felt, what he understood, whether he wounded it or not. But I prefer to wait until he faces the topic alone rather than talking to him. I tell me that perhaps it doesn’t even pay attention to our adult reflections.
“We move away when the situation goes too far”
As far as I’m concerned, I have many problems to maintain my calm in the face of this type of comments, but generally I do not enter the conflict. I must already fight to enforce our principles, both in terms of food and screens … I don’t like my mother -in -law who devalues myself in front of my daughter, who often happens. Fortunately for me, my husband is on my side and supports me in the face of his mother’s attitude.
For my part of the family, I no longer have a mother. My father is remarried with a woman who has assumed the role of grandmother for my children. We see them less often, because they live further and work again. But they don’t allow themselves to do this type of reflections. Rather, they tend to tell us that it is up to us to decide what is best for our children. They love them and look at the positive at home and are pleased to see them grow and evolve.
The best parade we found, compared to my parents, is distance Whenever we believe that the situation goes too far. It gives us time to digest our anger. Usually they come back to us after a while because our children are missing, and then, for a while, it’s better, until next time …
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
