Help ! I cheated on my son’s school teacher, is it serious?

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice, covered with a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to help a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

I am the “single mom” of a college student. This year I was elected as a parent representative. I have had the opportunity several times to speak with my son’s math teacher, who is also his primary teacher. He is my age and I have always found him attractive. I am also a university professor and we are part of the same union although we have never crossed paths outside of my son’s school. Before the Christmas holidays we had the opportunity to meet again during the class council, and we continued to discuss long after the council ended. It was late and we decided to continue the conversation over drinks, then two, then three. We ended up talking a lot about our lives. Neither he nor I are looking for serious relationships and we are in the process of rebuilding, but, aided by alcohol and desire, we ended the evening together. We had a lot of fun, which did us a lot of good. But now I feel guilty, I feel like I did something wrong. We haven’t seen each other since then and I avoid being seen in front of the school a bit, because I don’t know what to do: ignore him? And should we talk about that night again and set the record straight?

Help,

Joan

Daronne’s response

My little mandarin,

On some rare occasions, I wish we were allowed to discuss our intimate lives with our children. This would allow them to realize that we are not the bolosos good only to support them and pay them for the things they imagine. We’re also cool human beings, although in this case the concept of cool involves sleeping with a math professor, who is the epitome of nerdiness for all humans under the age of 18.

Unfortunately, even though Freud no longer has good press, I still think that what happens in our parents’ bedroom should stay there. We are then condemned to discuss it among adults, even if my position on this issue is not necessarily that of a responsible adult. Or if. Have.

Did you do something?

To begin with, know that these types of stories always enchant me. I love these little bursts of totally absurd existence, where for a brief moment the letting go is total and the idea of ​​the next morning is non-existent.

Remember the same as these types of events do in fact part of life. On the surface, parents appear as very serious people, living a routine and peaceful daily life. As soon as the paint wears off, or we switch to France 2 at around 3.30pm on a weekday, we realize that all the Darons go off the rails from time to time. And sometimes more than when they were teenagers.

It happens that teachers sleep with students’ parents. It happens that students’ parents sleep with other students’ parents, it happens that students’ parents sleep with a lot of people, and even with people with whom it is not very advisable. Ultimately, what matters most is that these relationships were expressed in a consensual, safe, caring, and fun atmosphere. If you liked it and he liked it too, then it doesn’t matter. You are not an unworthy mother. And if you feel really guilty, promise yourself not to do it again and stick to it.

All the beauty of these great road trips lies in their rarity. Although I don’t decide when a practice stops being fun and cathartic and becomes annoying, and finally a little sordid.

What to do now ?

In my opinion: nothing. The context of the outpouring seems very clear to me, as do your intentions and desires for the future. From what I understand, this friendly member of the national education system is in a similar mood. I don’t think it’s necessary to add anything. On the other hand, please don’t be embarrassed when dealing with it. Don’t feel the need to run away from him or avoid talking to him. Of course, nothing ever forces you to be friendly with a man (or anyone else), but don’t assume that convention requires you to act as if he doesn’t exist.

You shared some good times, which obviously did you good. It’s a fun story that you can entertain your friends with for the rest of your life. This man can therefore continue to represent something positive. You have the right to talk again and you will also have the right to talk about this evening as well as explain yourself, even once the topic is closed.

Your situation and the few details you provide me lead me to believe that you too, like him, will know how to be discreet. Especially because on his part it would be particularly disapproved of, and he has no interest in publicizing it. Not even you: very specific regulations govern this type of adventures. The fact that they are very banal does not prevent the group from condemning them, stigmatizing the perpetrators and their children with them.

Who to sleep with?

According to the principle mentioned above, many unions are discouraged, or even condemned, despite their frequency. I don’t think it’s necessary to specify that certain relationships are not only sulphurous, they are nauseating, even illegal. Thank you.

Personally I would advise you, if possible, to get along with the people who make up your child’s entourage. Overall, I’m all for sex between consenting adults, whatever the context. But we both know that, while most people behave decently, we can all come across a selfish pain in the ass who will take great pleasure in bothering you, or even bothering your child. And in our society, even when faced with an openly harmful guy, your gender makes you a loser beforehand. I wish it weren’t like this, I swear, I wish it weren’t so, but… Well, you see.

I’m leaving you, I have to go buy bread,

The kiss,

Your Daronne

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