“I’m on all fours on the bed, the head comes out but stays stuck, the body doesn’t follow”: Violette tells us about her birth

• Age at delivery : 36 years old
• Child expected on the date : November 4, 2021
• The baby arrived on date : November 2, 2021
• Arrival time at the hospital : 4.45 pm on November 1st
• Delivery time : 2h50 on November 2nd
• Baby’s height and weight at birth : 3.5kg – 52cm

This pregnancy came as a total surprise to me. When I found out I was pregnant I was alone and I was stunned. I took 48 hours to accept the situation, I knew that this time I could not have an abortion. I had just buried 4 close people in 9 months… I couldn’t take the grieving anymore. I warned the parent that he didn’t want to hear about it.

“I prepared for my birth as one of my cycling races”

I went through my pregnancy without any problems. I was what others cursed because no nausea, no weight gain, no high blood pressure, no vein problems… My “biggest” problem was not being able to sleep on my back anymore. I covered 5,000 kilometers pregnant, up to 2 weeks postpartum. Pleasant enough so, even though being pregnant wasn’t exactly my favorite moment in life, the experience was exciting: body modifications are fascinatinginteractions with the child are confusing.

I was followed by a liberal midwife, very good, and I also attended a birthing course with another midwife, I learned nothing and I was bored. I was also followed up during my pregnancy by the hospital psychologist, a wonderful woman who helped me a lot to take away my fears related to my recent family bereavements. Finally, I also did a follow-up in aptonomy, perfect for anchoring everyone in their role. By myself, I read a lot (Michel Odent, Maïtie Trelaun, Bernadette De Gasquet) and continued to play sports (cycling, swimming, yoga) every day.

I prepared for my delivery like I prepared for one of my cycling races: focus, visualization, endurance. I had a specific project for a physiological birth that took into account all the situations: if all goes well, if epidural, if cesarean section, if more serious problem… I had only two fears: that the physiological room was not available and that I they tie me to a bed to force me to give birth on my back. Back delivery is a comfortable position for doctors and not for pregnant women. And in this case, my baby was pressing hard on my vagus nerve and I passed out easily as soon as I was on my back.

“It came out like a cannonball”

1^um November, I woke up at 1:50 with the certainty that I was going to give birth that day. I had some menstrual cramps. The contractions became regular very quickly and intensified as the hours went by.

I managed my contractions alone at home for 15 hours by texting my midwife and hospital. It was my midwife who advised me to go on maternity leave around 5pm at the latest because she was afraid I would give birth at home or in the car on the street. When I arrived at the maternity ward I was laughing and talking normally, the team didn’t take me seriously, thinking it was a false alarm. I waited over an hour in a chair for someone to take care of me. But the tracking was explicit and my cervix was open at 4/10 so they kept me and read my birth plan. The physiological room was free so I took a seat there around 7pm. I was essentially alone for all work until midnight. I alternated dancing, bathing, toilet (I even thought of remaining sitting on the toilet during childbirth, because I felt good there!) and I did. The work progressed, the contractions taking possession of my whole body more and more intensely like a wave. Incredible power, felt my baby go down into the pelvis.

After midnight, I broke down mentally because we were moving on to another day and so I was in uninterrupted labor for almost a full day. There, the midwife spent more time in my room and coached me. The boy was yo-yoing (head could be seen intermittently). At one o’clock they agreed to give me an hour of rest (no flame attacks, try to eat some, etc) then attack again and get him out.

At 2 we go back to work, I’m on all fours on the bed, my head comes out but stays stuck, body doesn’t follow. The midwife then called for backup and they performed a manipulation, as the baby’s shoulder was pinned. I rolled onto my back. Two people were pressing on my stomach to push the baby’s feet out while she was pulling on her head. It came out like a cannonball, I felt like I was emptying all my insides. The midwife put the baby on me, he didn’t cry, he planted his eyes in mine, i was like hypnotized. So much so that after 5 minutes the midwife asked me if I had looked to see if it was a boy or a girl (my birth plan stipulated that I wanted to find out) and no, I hadn’t looked. This is how I became a mother of a child!

They took my baby away for treatment (he was a little blue and yellow, as he was very jaundiced!) while this wonderful midwife checked that I didn’t need stitches (just a scratch) and waited with me for delivery of the placenta.

“Childbirth is an intense ordeal”

I was lucky to have all my requests granted. The midwife was even an actress to allow me to better respect my wishes. When at one point I couldn’t manage even my contractions well, I asked for an epidural, but she reminded me of my choice and encouraged me, assuring me that I was very well and that I didn’t need it. He always explained to me everything he was going to do as a gesture, he always asked my consent before intervening.

I experienced 25 hours of contractions without an epidural or tool. For being a specialist in ultra-endurance sports with efforts sometimes lasting up to 80 hours straight, I thought it would be perfectly manageable. But childbirth is a much more intense ordeal!

My wish was to give birth in water. And finally I got out of the bathroom by myself, I didn’t feel better there. I hadn’t even imagined that I’d be taking micro-naps of a few handfuls of seconds between each contraction at the end. I almost fell off the ball, because I fell asleep! I was very tired by the end, so much so that I don’t even know who cut the cord or when!

“A pediatrician on duty made offensive and stupid comments to me”

After the treatments I returned to my room in excellent shape with my very calm baby. We tried to breastfeed him, but he wasn’t hungry and… asleep for 5 hours ! So I had time to stretch, wash with a glove and sleep.

Because of jaundice, we had to stay in the hospital for seven days. Also, with the Covid restrictions, visits were prohibited so it was very long. The 4^And day, I explained that it was very difficult for me to be alone and my sister got the dispensation to see us for 2 hours. It was great, it did me a lot of good. I had also taken care to tuck in a thermos and teabags/tonic drinks/small snacks so I was on my own, didn’t need to call the teams.

Everyone they saw, from the cleaner to the healthcare executive, was truly amazing. Except for one pediatrician on call who made offensive and stupid comments to me (he was absolutely trying to discourage me from breastfeeding by criticizing me). Luckily I have a sense of humor and was able to step back, because this kind of accident can cause serious harm to young mothers…

“My birth gave me incredible self-confidence”

The return home went very well. Everyone made sure I didn’t miss anything, I always had small dishes ready. I had also stocked my freezer with tasty fare before I left to give birth.

The baby’s pace dictated mine and everything went great. I had decided that the first 40 days would be a bubble between my son and me. My best memory is our first coffee outing (my first coffee in a year). It was tiny, at my neck against me.

Getting back on the bike was my second best memory. I felt weird not having my baby, but very quickly I found the pleasure of driving again. I only traveled a few kilometers that day, but they had an intense taste of freedom and joy!

My only bad memory was when I had a milk engorgement. I wanted to tear my chest out and I had a fever. I went to take a hot shower and screamed in pain as I clutched my chest to remedy the problem. But then it got better!

Of course I also had moments where hormones dropped and I was very sensitive, or times where I did things the wrong way, but I handled that with a lot of non-judgmental humor and that worked out!

My birth gave me incredible self-confidence. : I know how to make a human being, I know how to give birth, so I know I’ll be fine.

Many thanks to Violette for her testimony!

*Name has been changed