Too bad, my sister got drunk at my daughter’s birthday party!

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to rescue a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

A few weeks ago it was my daughter’s second birthday. We invited our families and friends, as well as some parents from daycare and had planned good food, decorations and… Champagne.

My older sister couldn’t think of anything better to do than get drunk. After an hour, she was so drunk that she started making super awkward sex jokes to the dads at kindergarten.

When she fell (yes, she fell), I called a cab and threw her out. The next day, she texted me to tell me that yesterday she had overdone it a bit, but she hoped we had fun.

I didn’t answer and haven’t returned any of his calls since… I’m furious. I know she’s going through a tough breakup when she thought about having kids with her ex, but that’s no reason to show off like that and ruin my daughter’s birthday. What do you think? Am I right to tease him or should I move on?

Salome

Daronne’s answer

My Little Pill by Alca Seltzer,

Oh family! But frankly, who has such a bunch of idiots joined us?

I totally agree with you, your sister should never have gotten drunk on your two year old daughter’s birthday. Or discreetly, like all responsible parents who plan booze for a child’s birthday party, aware that in a few years time they will be dousing the event with apple juice and Lexomil while a gaggle of children gleefully destroy their home.

The hardest thing about answering this letter is that I don’t know what relationship you and your family have with alcohol. Because this thing may have been a part of society forever and invites itself into most of our western cultural rituals, well… We all have a different take on it.

In some families we like to put our elbows up without it causing anyone any trouble. In other families, alcohol does a lot of damage and gives the chills to those who are indirectly victims. Some don’t like the taste, some don’t mind it, but they can’t stand drunkenness. There are those who can never stop in time, whether or not they have a daily drinking problem (hello!) and then there are those mysterious beings who manage to stop on their own after a drink or two. WHILE IT REMAINS CHAMPAGNE!!!

This champagne was certainly not destined for the binge of the century, but perhaps the message was not clear enough? Perhaps, on the contrary, your sister believed in open bars and orgy nights (after all, let’s not forget that this is how children are and what better way to celebrate a person’s existence than to relive the very moment of its creation)? More likely, your sister didn’t see herself drinking and the situation escaped her. Unless she doesn’t give a fuck what you think. And since these are the two most feasible options, these are the ones we will explore.

In general, your sister behaves correctly

Little natural troubles in decades of dating aside, if this is the first time your sister has done this to you, well… I’ll tell you… It happens.

That’s all, everyone, but how REALLY everyone shits in severe glue, and even several times in their life. We’d like to avoid it, huh, but we can’t always.

Slipping, it happens, not seeing yourself drink, it also happens. And hop, it’s the unexpected binge with all the nonsense that it implies. It’s embarrassing for everyone (even if the guests go home happy to have this beautiful story to tell for the rest of their lives). Obviously getting drunk on your niece’s birthday is totally unwelcome and very creepy.

Unfortunately these are things that can happen to anyone, we are not immune to a moment of vulnerability that drives us crazy. And life sometimes involves purging after a good argument to set the record straight and receive a sincere apology. It was ugly, it was uncomfortable, but if existence consisted only of manageable moments, it would be known. I don’t know if your sister has addiction issues or if she drank too much that day, but once you reconcile, that’s also something you could talk about. Small doses of alcohol are fun, large doses of alcohol are tragic.

In general, your sister behaves towards you anyway

Don’t make me say what I didn’t say, a breakup isn’t a health pass to do shit. Your sister is completely wrong and your anger is justified. If in my magnanimity I counsel forgiveness in the face of a sister’s first prank down the hole, there are limits to everything.

If your sister regularly blows fuses at inopportune times, especially when it comes to your own happiness, nothing is forcing you to move forward. Here you are. I’m not saying, your sister is probably going through a bad time, perhaps she is abusing certain substances that reveal a profound malaise, however she is not up to you to pay for the broken vase.

In the event that this binge is the straw in the vodka that overflows the shot glass, I authorize you to distance yourself for as long as necessary. Even if this time is long. Who knows: one day he might come to you with a real apology and a willingness to fix what’s broken between you. Or not. In the meantime, protect yourself. And change your kindergarten child. Or you can just pull the daycare parents and your friends aside to sort things out. They’ve had a good time in public too, they’ll understand. And if not, too bad for them.

I’ll leave you, I have to make myself a coffee, I drank cocktails yesterday, I’m not fresh.

bisette,

Your daronne

Photo credit image of one: Getty Images