Drinking coffee on the first date almost guarantees you won’t have a second, according to a relationship expert who hates the clichéd idea of a bar meeting.
Louanne Ward, a professional dating teacher from Australia, said the loud, irritating and often crowded environment of your favorite bar is a second date killer.
In fact, she has five reasons why she should never go on a “boring” coffee date right away, and she believes that may be why she has so many single followers.
Professional dating teacher Louanne Ward says the loud, irritating, and often crowded environment of your favorite bar is the second-date killer.
Louanne said that people walking in and out of a bar can be distracting and distract you.
She said the table creates a barrier to a typical seating arrangement and keeps potential new couples away from the start.
She explained that at a coffee date, people are more likely to ask questions in an intimidating interview style because they’re traditional short meetings.
Louanne said it can be difficult to extend the date if you and your potential partner aren’t comfortable drinking coffee one after another.
“The coffee meeting is not a date yet,” he said.
But most people claimed that “coffee date” was misinterpreted as an actual date when it was intended as a chance meeting before the “real date”.
“This is definitely not a date,” one woman said.
“For me, it’s more of a meet and greet to appreciate the mutual attraction and interest. Depending on how I felt, I would consider a real ‘date’ in a more intimate setting,” he continued.
And others agreed.
A coffee date is not a date. It’s a harbinger of seeing if you want a real date, and it provides a quiet escape from things going south,” explained one man.
Some asked for “better suggestions”.
What would you recommend doing/going on a first date? “For me, first dates should be a quick catch to see if there is a spark or interest.”
Boring dates, especially coffee dates, were among Louanne’s top six do’s and don’ts for successful dating in 2021.
REPORT FILE
1. FLEXIBLE YOUR SOCIAL CONFIDENCE MUSCLE
Top of Louanne’s list is a decent amount of Social Security if you want to be successful as a date person.
“The gap between being a text message hero and having social trust is growing,” he wrote on his website †
“Instead of waiting for the right moment to approach someone or ask if they’re single, forget about phone apps and talk to people in real time, say something!”
Louanne said the majority agreed that there is nothing more attractive than someone who knows who or what they want and does it.
“Social trust is a game changer for dating,” she said.
2. STAY IN THE MEETING LANE
While things like looks, money, and physical attractiveness are important, Louanne tries to remind singles that they’re “ephemeral.”
Instead, you should focus on compatibility.
“Successful relationships come not from superficial ego-driven desires, but from compatibility, care, and shared values,” he said.
When looking for a date, try putting someone’s personality above their looks.
Louanne (pictured) said the best first dates are often based on activity rather than something cliché like drinks or dinner.
3. USE ONE MEETING SITE OR APP AT A TIME
People like Tinder, Bumble, and Fish of Plenty are turning modern dating into a minefield.
Louanne said it’s best to use a single dating site or app if you want to be successful.
“Most people sign up for multiple dating apps to increase their chances, which means they’re looking at all platforms,” she says.
“If your profile is ubiquitous, it can give the impression that you are helpless or too demanding, psychologically you create scarcity if you are alone on a dating site, and you stumble upon a rare find that makes you appear more valuable.”
Louanne said it’s best to just use a dating site or app if you want to be successful (stock image)
4. CREATE A NEW CODE FROM POSITIVE EXPERIENCES
While things like coffee, drinks, or dinner may seem like simpler options for a first date, Louanne said we’ve done all that and you might be better off with a new kind of first date experience.
“Activity-based appointments, such as cycling, hiking, beach walks, picnics on the hill, hiking at the zoo, wine tasting, rowing or canoeing, will help you stay present, find common ground, and enjoy each other’s company,” she said. .
The less cliché the idea is, the better the date.
5. LEARN TO ACCEPT REJECTION
To some extent, we all have to be rejected at some point in our search for love.
Louanne recommends learning to accept this and move on. Ideally, learn from it as soon as possible.
6. USE BEFORE VIRTUAL APPOINTMENT
While blockages mean many things are impossible, it doesn’t mean your love life has stopped.
“It’s important to make progress and resume your normal activities as much as possible,” Louanne said.
You may not be able to meet a potential date face-to-face at this time, but you can “lay the groundwork” and connect with people, making you want to meet them more if possible.
THE RELATIONSHIP IS NOT WORKING
1. Don’t rush at the FIRST STAGES
If you’re planning on dating someone this year, don’t rush into the early stages, instead “adopt the slower pace,” Louanne said.
“Instead of rushing the first date to go straight to the bedroom, focus on getting to know the other person,” she said.
Again, physical attraction and chemistry can blind you to negativity. It’s important to slow down and focus on a person’s personality.
2. DON’T FOCUS ON WHY IT’S NOT WORKING, NOT HOW IT IS
When we first start a new relationship, most of us spend all of our time fussing and looking for reasons why it won’t work out.
But Louanne said you should look at the positives:
“Don’t let your past experiences or judgments determine the outcome. Look at what you like, not what you don’t like,” he said.
If you are going on a date, it is very important to keep the conversation as fluid as possible and avoid procedural questions (archive image)
3. DO NOT ASK PROCEDURE QUESTIONS
When going on a date, it’s very important to let the conversation flow as much as possible and avoid transactional questions.
Louanne said that no one likes interview-style dating questions, and it will quickly drive someone away from you.
“Instead of trying to figure out what you can get out of the relationship and why you should date this person, think about what you can contribute and what you can bring to the table,” she said.
Keep it light at least initially.
4. DON’T FALL INTO THE MIND OF THE 68’S
Again, Louanne said it’s important to stick to your own path when trying to date someone because it’s a contradiction to want more of what you have to offer while you deserve someone who loves and appreciates you.
“Being a perfect six, defending a perfect eight isn’t going to stay in your business and help you pull the perfect match or even the right dates,” he said.
Be realistic about who you are and what you want and prepare for good results.
5. DO NOT FEED OR FISH THE DOGS
It can be tempting to post over-filtered flattering photos or hide the truth.
But Louanne said it will only lead you to failure.
“Don’t post photos to falsely trick people into swiping or linking,” she said.
It’s always better to love yourself for who you are and tell the truth.
6. NOT ADVANCED WITH VIRTUAL ENCOUNTER FANTASES
Finally, while virtual dating is fine – and there’s a place for it – Louanne said don’t go with yourself.
“Nothing can replace dating in real life,” she said.
“Only when you meet, touch or kiss physically can you tell if the bond is real.”
Either way, he said you should talk to people and continue dating online while in solitary confinement, but wait until you meet them before classifying them as “the one”.
For more information about Louanne Ward, you can visit her website. here†
Source: Daily Mail
