BDSM is considered a negative, dangerous and embarrassing thing. References to porn and mental disorders spring to mind, and those who enjoy such practices are often written off as perverts. However, this is not always the case.
Sometimes the interest in such experiments is simply a yearning for the unknown and nothing more. Many decide on such an experience, wanting to diversify their intimate life and get new emotions and feelings from it.
Should you jump to conclusions about your partner’s particular tastes, or should you listen to their offer to try something new and unusual? We understand this material.
What does BDSM stand for?
To begin with, let’s define what lies behind the acronym BDSM.
Database – bandage and discipline or addiction and discipline. This part of the abbreviation is associated with bondage and role-playing games.
A group of letters is also evaluated separately. DC – domination and surrender, which immediately sends us to the movie about Christian Grey.
CENTIMETER – sadism and masochism, the red light that indicates we are in danger.
When you collect all the data, it turns out that BDSM is a sexual practice based on power and submission, including humiliation and pain. But in reality this is not entirely true. The so-called game is still based on the theme of power and surrender, and it’s definitely not a mission to hurt and injure your partner. It’s the power that becomes the spark that heightens the attraction, the sex feeling and makes the finale brighter.
The main detail of the implementation is that the partners have full trust in each other and strictly adhere to the framework they defined for themselves before starting the process.
Some practitioners see this game as an opportunity to loosen control and surrender. Or, conversely, satisfy your need to feel responsible. Accordingly, there may not be only a sexual motive in this process.
What will the experts say?
We asked sex bloggers and relationship coaches Polina Red and Mitya Sense what advice they would give to someone offered to attend such a performance.
Polina Red and Mitya Sense, sex bloggers and sex and relationship coaches
By BDSM, different people mean completely different practices.
For some, tying their hands and spanking their partner’s ass is BDSM anyway. Therefore, it is worth initially to find out what exactly the partner offers and in what role.
Does he want to dominate or to obey? Do you want to try pain, restraint or role playing?
What moves a partner most about this – what images, situations, actions?
What exactly does the partner want to gain from this game? If you agree on the desires and fantasies on this topic, you can proceed to detailed discussions: place, context, restrictions, taboo, word stop.
The main thing in these practices is to comply with three basic principles: security, reasonableness, voluntariness.
How to react?
Therefore, before calling your girlfriend a pervert, you should ask her exactly what she means by BDSM. Perhaps you will not see anything terrible and dangerous in his picture of the world, and there is nothing to worry about.
If he’s thoroughly studied this topic, looked at examples, and was excited about becoming a true professional, then the same advice: speak up, share your desires and determine how possible this is in your company.
If you’ve weighed all the pros and cons and are willing to try, you need to clearly define the limits of what’s acceptable and make sure your partner understands them correctly and is ready to comply.
The main rule in such matters has always been and will be your desire. No matter how much you love your partner and how much you value your relationship, under no circumstances should you go against yourself. So make sure you listen to yourself and your feelings.
Source: People Talk
Errol Villanueva is an author and lifestyle journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a passion for exploring the latest trends in fashion, food, travel, and wellness, Errol’s articles are a must-read for anyone interested in living a stylish and fulfilling life.
