If you don’t like me, you have no taste: how to communicate with narcissists?

If there is a narcissist in your close circle, you will probably have a hard time sometimes. They are disturbed by their narcissism, manipulate others, and violate our personal boundaries.

The easiest way to protect yourself from the influence of such people is to limit communication with them. However, it does not apply in all cases. For example, we cannot limit communication with colleagues, superiors or relatives, which unfortunately cannot be changed.

In this case, all that remains is to accept the situation and learn to behave with narcissists so that this communication does not hurt or upset us. Here are some tips on how to avoid getting hurt by dealing with a narcissist.

First you have to find out who the daffodils are

It’s time to remember the Greek mythology we met at school. In the legends, Narcissus is the name of a young man who cannot love anyone but himself. He died, unable to take his eyes off his reflection in the pond.

From the point of view of psychology, narcissism is an exaggerated view of oneself and one’s virtues, excessive narcissism and arrogance, egocentrism, as well as a belief in one’s exclusivity.

A striking example of such a person is the heroine of Harry Potter – Zlatopust Lokons. A popular writer in the wizarding world positions himself as a fearless hero who has accomplished many feats. He boasts excessively, does not hide his narcissism, and does not advise others without investigating and understanding their problems.

This actually shows that narcissists often don’t like themselves at all and that their defiant behavior is a defense against self-doubt and low self-esteem that they hide behind a fictional better version of themselves.

In fact, all the heroic virtues emerge as fiction from his books, an image behind which a coward is hiding.

How to recognize a narcissist?

– Needs constant admiration

– acting arrogant

– Does not empathize with others

– Overreactions to criticism

– asserts himself at the expense of others

– Exaggerates own achievements and abilities

How to deal with narcissists?

First of all, you need to understand how you feel around such a person, how they affect you.

It is worth asking yourself if there is aggression or disrespect in this relationship, what is your self-esteem, whether there is an unpleasant taste in the mouth after communicating with this person, as well as why you are communicating with him (for example, out of necessity, pity). , fear).

Based on the results of this little analysis, if you realize that someone is negatively affecting you, something needs to be changed.

first rule: You cannot tell a narcissist that he is a narcissist. A person will not change his behavior, he will just get angry and decide to punish you at all costs. Any method will be used: from ignorance to open harassment.

Second rule: keep your distance and don’t trust the narcissist with your deepest thoughts. Secrets, experiences and other personal information can be used against you.

Third rule: Recognize that a person cannot be redone. Stop reacting to his behavior, keep your cool and ignore any manipulation.

fourth rule: Confidence in yourself. The narcissist tends to violate the personal boundaries of others, and if you think he or she is overstepping yours, defend them harshly. Hold your ground and remember that the slightest doubt will make you vulnerable.