I am bisexual and I am tired of the myths about bisexuality

– Article published on July 26, 2013

First of all, I want to say that I speak only from personal experience and it in no way generalizes my feelings to all bisexual people.

Being bisexual or bisexual, what does it mean first?

I can’t tell you about how others live what some gossip will call the fact “Have your ass between two chairs”.

That said, as a lot of straight and gay people ask me the question regularly, I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk about it. what it can mean to be bisexual when we have 22 years old.

For me this means being potentially attracted (but also falling in love, wanting to jump, wanting to get married …) every human being over the age of 18 living on the planet (no, I have no sense of exaggeration, that’s wrong!).

In short, it is above all they have no barriers related to sex and / or gender.

I guess it might surprise you!

I am often told that being bisexual is being bipolar, it is not knowing what you want, not knowing how to choose, which for some would even be on the verge of splitting the personality (just that).

I’ve always seen it as thousands of other opportunities: to be bi is to have the choice not of a sex but of a personand this choice is much wider for me than for heterosexuals and homosexuals.

Again, this comment is purely subjective, I don’t want to offend anyone in the audience!

In general, this is where people look at you with wide eyes and say ” Haaaan but actually it’s great to be bi! and strangely, it’s the straight girl you fell in love with by mistake – or not, because you’re a bit of an idiot and always fall in love with straight girls – who tells you.

If he wants to open his mind, that’s when he wants!

Being bisexual: how does this thing fall on us?

Important clarification: I don’t care if being straight, bi, gay or trans comes from the father, mother or the Holy Spirit.

I think for real falls on usmaybe it’s destiny, maybe it’s in our DNA, I don’t know, and the debate doesn’t interest me precisely because no one ever agrees and many in any case, we will never know who is right or wrong.

So I’m not going to go into the story – however very fascinating – of my life, but I can tell you that I hadn’t seen it coming, that one!

I think I’m a special case because I was physically attracted to a beautiful brunette before falling madly in love with someone else (she also dies when I tell you my life is exciting).

The so-called “classic” case would instead be that ofhaving feelings for someone of the same sex before realizing that it is much more than friendship or admiration.

At least, that’s what I’ve seen in others and by “others”, I mostly mean my entourage with deviant tendencies (this is a joke) !

Being bisexual, like my life wasn’t complicated enough!

One of the first things I remember when I realized that I was also attracted to girls was thinking to myself:

“Whore, What are you getting into again? Did you think your life wasn’t complicated enough and wanted to add a layer to it? “.

Well … maybe not with these exact terms, but it must be admitted that even if I am lucky enough to have a gay friendly family who raised me with respect for everyone, in this case we know in advance that we start life with more complications!

However, I want to say that it is something that I absolutely don’t think about anymore. I was 17 when it hit me without warning and adolescence mixed with everything else made me see the downside in the first place.

Fortunately, I quickly saw everything that could bring me. It might even be the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life!

Being bisexual or bisexual: but then … am I becoming gay?

First, I believed in a transition from heterosexuality to homosexuality.

I grew up with my mom’s gay friends, but lo and behold, they were gay! All ! Not a bisexual on the horizon! For me (as still for many), there was no middle ground: we’re either straight or we’re gay, full stop.

So when I saw that despite everything I was still attracted to boys, I really thought I was in some sort of evolution, like that of Pokémon when they switch from one form to another before becoming the new and abandoning the old forever (noooo Salamèèèèche , reviiiiens!).

Well no! I am happy to report that I am still blinking, even years later!

Accept and come to terms with being bisexual

Having no real role model, I learned on the job what it might be like to be bisexual. I was dating a year and a half with a guy I liked and was about to fall in love with a girl.

The passage is not so strange: I think you have to live it (or let yourself be convinced by the experience of others) to understand how being with one or the other is not that different.

It is I who do not behave in exactly the same way if I am facing a man or a woman, but it may not be so. We adapt to the person in front of us, I think. And this is all.

So yes, of course, one like the other is not exactly “done” the same way but in one: that’s okay! And that’s also why bisexuality exists, eh, we’re a bit like explorers who don’t really know each other.

Again, We adapt! We adapt to character as well as physical, as everyone does in the end.

Being bisexual: “And if not, you’re like 50/50, 25/75, how’s it going?” “

The big question I am often asked is: “Do you have any preferences? “ : YES ! I do not have ! Here, they say! But … three times “but” – are variable.

Sometimes I’ll be looking mainly at guys, sometimes it’ll be more girls, someday they’ll be brunette and plump and the next day red and skinny, one day they’ll be blonde and shapely and the next day brunettes and cerebral …

You get the idea: it depends on my mood at that moment! Again, it’s my turn, but I think there are some of us who are in this pattern.

“BEING BISEXUAL DOES NOT EXIST!” “

Of course, I am often faced with this famous statement.

I’ll stop you right away, it’s not because Julien prefers boys to girls that he’s no less bisexual. Actually, I don’t like to classify people. I think being bi is cover a little bit of all sexual diversity.

It’s not purely 50/50 (even if it actually exists) and it’s not necessarily taking action. I think Morgane can be bisexual if she fantasizes about a girl. There is no need to take action to know that you can be attracted to the same sex.

After, being bi, in my opinion and more exactly in my experience, encompasses the fact of being able to do it fall in love with anyone – not necessarily nonsense, we’ll stop at two categories if you don’t mind, it’s already quite a mess like that! – and to be attracted to anyone.

I find it very stupid – and again, I’m polite – that people, gay and straight alike, want to erect barriers everywhere: Since I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for three and a half years, I’ve become a lesbian now that I ” go out “ almost alone with the boys, I am “Maybe eventually you’ll be straight again”.

OF COURSE.

You understand, it’s something that bothers me. And the “Yes but if you stay with your girlfriend for 20 years, you will be a lesbian” they tend to make me want to kill more than anything else.

I’m bisexual, that’s all!

This “duality”it’s kind of my balance – and no, it’s not because I’ve been with a guy for 10 years that I’m going to miss girls, and vice versa.

I sincerely hate anyone who tells me that being bisexual or bisexual is being fickle: I’m 22, I’ve been with my ex for 3 and a half years, I think there are worse things in life like inconstancy (and no, I haven’t fooled her )!

In my eyes, to be bi is simply to love the human being. It doesn’t matter how, why or how long one genre will be preferred to the other.

It’s no better than being on a sexual side but it offers even more surprises and adventures (in my opinion). I know it sounds a bit like a Disney song, but I really mean it, and most of all, I experience it like that every day.

Oh, and to finish on a less crude and more realistic note: being able to drool over Henry Cavill with his friends and Olivia Wilde with her friends, frankly, is priceless!

Photo credit: Emma Rahmani via baseimage (Canva)