“Lochies”, “trenches” … small lexicon for the use of nulliparas to understand one’s parent friends

Article originally published August 19, 2020

What an idea to reproduce, frankly. In addition to making people silly, it gives them a slightly superior air with which they embellish ” What ? Don’t know what colostrum is? But have you never been to SVT class or what? which can sometimes make you really want to help their head meet a shovel (rusty, shovel.)

But parents are not only unbearable beings, they can also be very nice people, for whom the whole world does not revolve around their offspring. Some even take the time to explain what they are talking about, to save you a Google search.

Yes well, when I say “certain parents”, I’m talking about me, huh, and I’ll help you decipher the key terms of parenting, for those away from diapers and who do not suck a word when they come face to face with humans who have decided to give birth.

At best, it will help your friendships (you don’t have to leave your friends when they have kids), and at worst it will make you shine in society when you can proudly say yes, you know very well what lochia is.

What is diaper return?

loc. masc. : occurrence of the first menstruation after childbirth. So yes, I know, you are disappointed, but we are not talking here about a package of baby diapers that we would take hard in the face.

It’s less fun than that, actually. The return of diapers is simply the time when menstruation, which was absent during pregnancy, comes into play. return.

The return of diapers is the return of cycles, it is the return to life as before, the child who cries the most. The return of diapers can be done sooner or later depending on the women, but also based on other factors.

According to a British study, the results of which were translated from the Leche League website, breastfeeding delays the return of diapers.

On the other hand, the return of childbirth does not mean that it is the time when you are fertile again. We can be even earlier (this is the case of 10% of women), and breastfeeding is not a contraceptive.

Beware, there is a twist: the return of diapers has nothing to do with lochia.

Lochia, what is this thing?

No. femm. plural which comes from the Greek lokheia. Don’t panic now, I’ll also explain what it is: lochia are uterine discharges that occur for weeks after delivery. But these are not rules!

Certainly there is blood, but not only (the human body is fascinating). In the lochi we therefore find blood, liquids, but also fragments of mucus. These flows mean that the uterine wound left by the expulsion of the placenta is healing.

It sucks because it lasts forever (about two weeks, but can vary depending on the woman), changes color but doesn’t match anything, and it’s almost continuous.

Pregnancy has had this remarkable advantage of making us forget the sensation of menstruation for nine months, and there it seems that the uterus is making up for the time lost during this pause.

Thanks but no thanks, life was even easier when you didn’t have to wear pads the size of an ocean liner (with disposable mesh pants option for the more adventurous) all day.

Trenches, what are they?

No. femm. plural. Watch out, I feel disappointment: yes, the uterine trenches have nothing to do with the war of 14-18. Well, so much the better in real life, since childbirth can be a real mess, it’s not worth adding.

So what is this stuff? Trenches are simply contractions (yes, again), which allow the uterus to regain its place in the pelvis. Not the Arcachon pelvis, but the bone.

During childbirth, the uterus contracts to expel the tenant and placenta, and after having done his job, he does more while continuing to bargain to resume a normal dimension, in relation to the fact that there is no longer anyone occupying the premises.

While we reassure ourselves, trenches don’t hurt like labor contractions (we’re not masochists either), but they don’t do any good where they go either.

Those who have decided to breastfeed also notice that these trenches feel good when their baby’s head is normal. Breastfeeding causes a secretion of oxytocin, a hormone that causes uterine contractions and allows milk to be secreted. You have seen, you can show off at the next dinner with all this information.

Speaking of breastfeeding, there is a little word that often comes out in the mouth of those who have decided to break their PEL by having a child: colostrum.

Colostrum

Masc. Latin colostrum : yellowish liquid secreted by the mammary gland the first days after childbirth, before the milk enters. Yum, it makes you hungry (no).

If you thought that the baby was breastfeeding Candy Up directly from the first minutes of life, this is not the case. Before breast milk finally shows up, the heir will taste only the colostrum, which is sometimes secreted even before birth, and which will be produced for about 5 days after birth. Hence, it will be replaced by breast milk which will make her look great.

Colostrum is relatively important to the baby, as it is composed of many proteins, and especially immunoglobulins. Basically, it’s like some kind of vaccine it delivers antibody, and which protects and facilitates the growth of organs, especially the digestive tract. Practical enough as a thing, you will agree.

So if you visit your friend who just gave birth in the maternity ward and she has yellow spots all over her shirt, it’s not time to panic just yet, it’s completely normal.

Rehabilitation of the perineum

Perineum: masculine name, from the Greek perineum. But why do we have to re-educate this? Slam doors and roll your eyes like a rebellious teenager? Do you think Marine Le Pen would be a good president? No, it’s not that dramatic, at least not on a national scale.

The perineum, or pelvic floor for those who love it, is a diamond-shaped (yes, why not) muscle set, extending from the posterior surface of the pubis to the coccyx.

But still not said because it needs to be re-educated, isn’t that it? Wait, here I am.

You have to visualize the scene a bit: during childbirth, the baby does not really help not to break down all the doors that come to meet him, and it happens that the perineum, this elastic but not too extensible muscle, gets a little expensive. For some women it passes by itself and there is no work to do, but for others it may be necessary some so-called “re-education” sessions, so that the perineal region returns to its original shape.

But what if we didn’t re-educate him? Oh man, it’s hot. You’ve already heard of it organ descent ? Anal and urinary incontinence? Honestly, getting pissed off every time you laugh isn’t the most practical thing.

That’s why 6 to 8 weeks after giving birth, your friend will rehabilitate his perineum using different exercises, during one or more sessions, depending on the extent of the damage.

So who said thank you for saving your next evenings with your young parent friends?

Photo credit image of one: Working Moms