The day I realized that my best friend was toxic

I really would like to talk about something that I keep in depth for a long time and that I dare not speak for several reasons.

I come to talk to you about the relationship I have with my best friend, like everything degenerated without realizing it and how I found myself trapped in a toxic relationship.

The real face of my best friend

It had started well, however.

We knew each other at 13 through a common friend, we became friends very quickly, we attended the same college and we were always together, the weekend, the holidays, came to my house and I went to his house …

At that time, it was really my best friend and I loved her.

He started showing his real face when I went to high school. We were not in the same factory and I made friends in mine.

Friends who did not want to meet, who did not want me to speak to her and hated “in principle”.

He told me that he didn’t feel them, that surely they didn’t love me, that he would end badly … when he saw that I didn’t listen to her, he went to the notch above.

One day, he phoned me to tell me that I was his only true friend, and that I let him fall, He would have committed suicide.

With hindsight, I tell myself that it is here that I should have react. But what can we do when we are 15 years old and our best friend threatens to commit suicide in our fault?

Now, I recognize it: our friendship just wanted to do it.

A threat, a blackmail for suicide. For more than ten years, I accepted without saying anything because I was afraid of his reactions And fear of her.

My toxic relationship with my best friend

My best friend scared me because she was afraid of something.

He had not hesitated to open his arm with a knife for an observation by his mother, he did not hesitate to slap me if he didn’t agree with me.

He did not withdraw from nothing and boasted that he had a strong character, the defendant, even if this meant insulting people having the last word. Under the pretext of a so -called “honesty”, He told me abominable things.

I remember, when I was 17, I had a color accident that destroyed my hair.

So I had to stop them if I wanted them to become almost normal again, I finished with a boy and I really liked it.

I had spared time, he changed my head …

And one morning, I found an SMS of my best friend who told me I was ugly, that I had nothing more than a girl, who looked like a boy and that I should be ashamed to be like this.

When I asked her why she felt forced to tell me these horrors, she replied that she had to be honest with me.

I supported so many things from her, because of this blackmail with which she kept me …

My first awareness

And one day I opened my eyes. I realized that he had brought me everything.

I remember perfectly that day, I saw it coming and I saw my clone. The same hairstyle, the same clothes, the same makeup, the same bag, the same way of speaking …

And I realized that when he came to my house, he made his market: he noticed the books, the CDs and the films I had, to buy exactly the same.

What he hurt me most was when he told me he wanted to become a great writer.

He knew I had been writing for years, I wrote stories that knew their little success on the internet and my most expensive desire was to write a novel.

I had to take me too.

From that day, all my accounts on the networks have been private, I have not shared anything of my tastes whatever they are, it shows nothing.

End my toxic relationship with my best friend

But the real awareness came last year. My life had a new meaning when I escaped a very serious car accident.

Before this event, I remained cloister in the past, in a sad and intertwined life in the routine, tirelessly making the misfortunes that had managed to happen to me.

Thanks to psychotherapy, I was able to solve many of my problemsAnd one day I told him that I was very happy, very proud of myself, because I had finally decided to combine, three years after a particularly painful break.

His reaction was to turn my back, to tell me that the boys were useless and that I would do better to buy a green plant.

I told her he had hurt me, she replied to ” Excuse me It is not at all convinced.

It was then that something was broken and that I decided, at 27, after many years of good and loyal service, of N ‘Having nothing else to fuck her and her considerations of Arpie.

Be free from my best friend

By freeing myself from this, I took a weight of the shoulders. It is no longer due to her to dictate my life. I understood that if he had committed the irreparable, it would not be my fault.

My life is going on, I have projects that materialize, I finished my first novel and I hope I have published it soon.

When he announced me 3 months ago that he was moving, I lived it as a release. I think his departure is punctual, it was time for her to go.

What is ironic is that he has always forced me not to move so that he is not separated and that he has now exceeded more than 900 kilometers …

I feel that I will finally find my freedom, the one he took at the beginning of our relationship. I was waiting for a better friend, not something so overwhelming.

I wanted to testify to sensitizing the people who could be in my case.

The executioners do not always come from the outside, sometimes they are our loved ones and the situation is a thousand times more complicated. If I had only one advice to give, Don’t let yourself be done like me: react!