After the divorce, I lost everything … my friends too

March 29, 2019.

I separated from my husband, two years ago, after more than ten years of life together, a wedding and two children. We shared our social life: we had the same friends and often we see our families (well, in particular mine in fact).

In these ten years of common life, I don’t think there have been moments of calm. We have always had a conflictual relationshipAnd they were also known for this: the couple who all judge in the evening (and it was normal given our behavior) because “” They will inevitably end up being buried. “

In recent years we have no longer had public insufficiency. However, when it happened, it was excluded, so it was a rather heavy and very bad peaks. He made people less uncomfortable, but it was still harmful to me.

The tsunami that waited for me to break

I was not perfect in this story, a couple of work (or not) for two, but I remained too long because What was waiting for me after the rupture seemed insurmountable. I ended up leaving when I couldn’t take it anymore. I was about to discourage a cable and the wave that rose in front of me like a wall seemed less painful to take in the face than being with me to flow gradually.

I click on vacation. I could no longer support the life I had, or what I became by his side. I gained this decision a few months in my head, in order to organize myself to face the tsunami that would have occurred.

After announcing him that I wanted to divorce, it took several weeks to separate concretely until he returns to live with his parents and that he leaves me alone to announce the news to the children.

The first months were very difficult for me and sometimes I felt abandoned. For our families and friends, it was I who made the decision to leave himSuppose that I shouldn’t have been sad for a situation I had chosen. However, I felt sad and guilty for my children. I had exploded our family and it was very difficult to live. I would also have liked to have their support.

“” He left, he looked for him »» »

I got the main care of the children and my husband made them one out of two and half of the school holidays. During the first weekends “” Dad »» »Alone I found myself alone All my friends were absent subscribers, Apart from my two best friends.

No more invitation or call. I felt like I was brutally excluded from our group of friends. I don’t want anyone to know, be reduced to a sentence:

“” T’etaçre was her if she left, she looked for him »» »

Everyone was embarrassed by this situation and fought for our children, but Nobody in my life before has been fought for me. And it was very confused.

In fact, it is as if we were friends on the right sides, to celebrate for weddings, births, birthdays of the little ones, drinking blows together or going to see the boys walking on Sunday. But as soon as the friendly or familiar circle is bred by a wave, there is no one anymore. The tsunami takes everything: friends, relatives and memories that accompany them….

So, I put everything behind me. Today I have new friendly relationships, Much healthier and more authentic. We sold the house and I have a new house where I live with my children and in which we feel good. With my ex -husband, the relationships are not yet big, but we minimize for children.

And for my part, I continue to work with a narrowing to be able to recover from all this.

Photographic credit: Pexels / Cottonbro