Typology of the 5 worst parents we meet at the children’s playground

After the worst parents met in kindergarten, let’s move on to the worst parents met at the park. Did you think taking your little Jean-Kévin to the park on a swing would be a walk in the park? No, my dear friends, not to mention the other daron and daronne present, whose presence is particularly painful.

This is the madness of parenting: if we think a human being is relatively kind and pleasant, with entirely honorable principles, he or she can quickly turn out to be the worst idiot once he or she has a child.

Be careful, there is humor and bad faith in this article, put away your pitchforks!

1 – Those who are “afraid of everything”

Does Marie-Cystitis go sledding? “ Attention!“, shout his parents, “ you risk slipping and falling on your butt! » That’s fine though, since that’s the point of the game, right? NO. Not for these parents, who are constantly afraid that their precious heir will be hurt.

So yes, there are risks, but you learn by falling. And frankly, in terms of danger, we are still talking about a place where the ground bounces when you walk on it, where the maximum height of the duck you have to climb to swing on is the size of a puppy, and where, at worst In some cases, if the child breaks his mouth, he falls on his buttocks, protected by a dirty diaper. There’s worse.

2 – Those who prefer to “let youth happen”

When you’re at a playground with multiple kids, as you might imagine, there are multiple kids. Besides yours, I mean. And when we say a large number of children per square meter we say more or less serious fights. Well yes, these dear lumps are confronted with society, even if the latter measures, for them, less than a meter in height.

And when we interact with others, sometimes we don’t understand each other and that comes into conflict. Depending on the severity of the disagreement between the little ones, parents should not intervene more than this. A little call to order, an explanation that you shouldn’t hit/bite/throw sand in the eyes/face your friend in an octagon and soon the matter is resolved.

But some parents, even when the situation is serious, let everything pass completely, with the pretext that “youth must come”. Ah well, “youth will be done” you might as well if little Pierre-Mario, who is holding the arm of your little Daenerys, will stop wanting to burst her shoulder, that’s a promise. Intervening does not mean bullying, above all avoiding making these kids future tyrants from whom everything is taken away.

3 – Those who think their child is the best

“ Jean-Mirabelle has been able to climb the slide ladder alone since he was 6 months old, he is a very precocious hinhin. What, your kid doesn’t do that? OH…“. Jean-Mirabelle might know how to do it, but in the meantime he can’t say goodbye without spitting on others, so calm down, Martine (or Jean-Patrick, take your pick).

But for Martine, and for all other parents like her, her son is extraordinary. He is the strongest, the cutest, the most skilled on a bike and a 3-wheel scooter, he knows how to ride a bike without hands and what’s more he has been going to the potty since he was 9 months old, even at the park. Well yes.

So ok, we want to believe it – but not too much – but what is this mania of wanting to be Queen B of the sandbox, Martine? Because once again she might pass for an attitude, but the problem is that she is also full of judgments towards other parents and children who are supposedly not as gifted as her precious little Jean-Mirabelle. And this, clearly, is unbearable. You won’t get a medal for your son Martine, all because he knows how to climb to the top of a ladder. Drink some herbal tea.

4 – Those who are there, but aren’t really there

Parents who accompany their children to the park are heroes who don’t wear capes. Well, maybe not that far, but if you’ve never spent three hours sitting around a sandbox on a hungover Sunday morning, surrounded by screaming, running around sugar-addicted children, you have no idea what I’m talking about.

Some parents don’t want to be there and we understand. They are sitting on a bench, not too close to the games, occasionally watching their children shout “regaaaarde, I’m upstairs” at them as they say goodbye, before returning to scrolling through their Instagram feed, as they think about their lives that it’s slipping away from them. It’s a little sad, but when you’re hungover and out on the streets with the kids, you have the right to reconsider your life choices, right?

In short, these parents are there, but not even there. The jackpot for them? When their heir makes a friend from the park with whom he will have fun for the next few hours, all under the supervision of said friend’s parents, who obviously didn’t drink their weight in GinTo the day before, and who arrive to hold the step .

5 – Those who take advantage of it to have an aperitif

By frequenting children’s parks, it happens, when we are a little sociable, that we make trouble friends. It starts with a simple “ Good morning ” followed by ” what’s your? » indicating the children playing together. And sometimes, when the planets are aligned, it can even lead to the formation of a new friendship between the parents, and that’s great.

Children are friends, parents too, and trips to the park become much less painful because we can take advantage of them to organize an aperitif or a snack in the open air, chatting about what binds us: our children. Legend has it that true friendships have developed between the parents of the park and that talking and laughing with people who are going through the same situation as us can have a notable effect on the mental health of exhausted young parents.

So, which of these parents are you?

Listen to Laisse-moi kiffer, Madmoizelle’s cultural advice podcast.