Twice a month, Charlotte answers anonymous questions from the Q box and sheds the clearest light possible on issues related to sexuality. A question ? Write to us at [email protected] !
Sometimes, when you are in a relationship and the relationship is just starting, it can be difficult to discuss some taboo topics. The reason ? Often the fear of judgement, the fear of disappointing or even the fear of rejection. However, knowing how to communicate on even the most sensitive topics is important to developing a healthy relationship, so here are some tips to help you resolve the situation.
Tip no. 1: expressing your needs is important
Before getting to the heart of the matter, a little important reminder: our intimate needs are specific to each of us. However, when they express themselves within the framework of a relationship, it may be important for our development that our partner (or partners, if there are more) responds. But we still need to know how to identify them.
The first step is therefore to know your needs by asking yourself the question “What do I need to feel fulfilled in this relationship? », ” what I like ? “OR “What makes me unhappy in my relationships? “. We besoins, ques qu’ils soient, et peu importante our genre or our sexual orientation, are legitimate and worthy of importance and accord – in the moment that does not cause harm to a person and respect the consent of each person , Obviously.
Once clearly identified, the question is: are they compatible with our partner?
If the answer is yes, then congratulations, you have hit the jackpot. But if the answer is no, then this may be reason enough to end the relationship, or it will be the subject of a problem that you will have to find a solution to together.
To know for sure there is only one solution: talk.
Tip #2: Communicate well, the basis of a healthy and peaceful relationship
Dear reader, so you’ve decided to take the plunge and broach the topic of your sexual tastes with your partner for the first time. But problem: you don’t know what forms to use, what words to use… Should we start with a serious conversation or, on the contrary, opt for humor to lighten the situation? Since I don’t have a ready answer, I would advise you to stay as natural as possible. The idea is not to perform, but rather to give yourself over to your partner with honesty and transparency. No need to make a fuss or even justify your tastes. In my opinion, the only prerequisite is to remain sincere and keep in mind that you have the right to express your fantasies.
The second piece of advice I could give you is to stay as faithful as possible to the reality of your desires and needs and avoid extrapolating. Extrapolation generally does not lead to anything good, in fact it is quite the opposite.
Finally, I would advise you to avoid rejecting the sexuality you have had so far with your partner (if you have ever had one). Say phrases like “I don’t like it when we make love” it could provoke a strong reaction from him and make him question your shared past. Why not instead opt for present or future tense words to talk about what you want your sexuality to go towards?
Tip no. 3: Accept your partner’s response
Behind this desire to talk about your fantasies lies above all the desire to share something new about yourself and to invite your partner to respond to your need. And this last point can only be made if the user is 100% available. Then it’s time for another important reminder: Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean your partner owes you sex, regardless of the activity in question. Any activity requires consent, and for this to be valid, here are some prerequisites: Your partner must give you a clear and enthusiastic yes. Her consent must also be free and informed, meaning that your boyfriend must be in possession of all the means she has to be able to give her consent or not. The latter must also be specific, i.e. valid only for a single activity. Consent must also be reversible, meaning it is possible to change your mind at any time and, finally, the partner must be informed about the possible risks of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy*.
In the event that your partner does not give you consent, the important thing is to listen to this response and be able to accept it. It may seem like a no-brainer, but most of us find it difficult to accept no. This is a very broad topic, which I may return to at another time if you wish.
The Q box is the bimonthly section that answers your most taboo questions! Leave your question anonymously in this magical imaginary box and our expert will take care of answering you. Existential questions, practical questions, taboo topics… Ask us all your most intimate questions about your sex life, we’re here to answer them! Here the watchword is neither judgments nor injunctions, but only objective information and careful advice.
A question ? Write to us at, [email protected], with the “Q Box” item!
*Source: Consensus
Listen to Apéro des Daronnes, Madmoizelle’s show that aims to break down taboos on parenting.
Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
