For March 8, what can men really do to support women?

March 8, 2019

March 8th and it’s not girls’ day, but International Women’s Day.

On this occasion, Madmoizelle publishes moving portraits of everyday heroines. All over the world, women support each other and stand up to defend or demand their rights.

March 8 and men

This day, it is undeniable, is dedicated to women, to their too often threatened rights, to their desire for equality.

And I am proud of the work done every day, not just on March 8, on Madmoizelle, to give women back the self-confidence, courage and happiness that they are sometimes deprived of.

However, a colleague told me that this morning, before leaving, her boyfriend asked her:

– To say… What can I do, as a man, to support women on March 8th?

Being responsible for the masculinity section of Mad, I wanted to answer this wonderful question!

Dear man, listen to women on March 8th

Women are too often invisible, ignored in favor of men. On March 8, more than any other day, it is appropriate to give them the space they deserve.

Dear man who wants to support women on this day which is not just like the others, I therefore advise you to do so start by listening to them.

They will talk about what worries them: street harassment, pay disparities, sexual violence, misogyny, feminicides.

They will talk about those who inspire them: activists, elected officials, artists, influencers, famous or anonymous women who make the world a better place.

Listen to them, dear friend. Let them talk. Ask questions to find out more. Express your point of view without necessarily trying to be right.

Realize that a whole part of women’s lives is invisible, inaudible to men, so when one of them lifts the veil, be attentive and respectful.

And spread the good word, sharing the voices of the women who will speak loudly today.

Dear friend, ask yourself on March 8th

Do you tend to exclude women who speak up? Do you doubt a woman more often than you doubt a man? Seeing women as objects of seduction before seeing them as people?

You use insults or terms that reflect a negative image of femininity (discussing “flea” a man who is not manly enough for example)?

Do you read female authors? Do you watch films by female directors? Have you ever identified with a female character? Have you ever watched feminist porn?

Do you follow Instagram accounts dedicated to reflections on gender norms, such as @jouissance.club or @taspensea, on mental load? Without forgetting our queen of all, I have nominated Fiona Schmidt, who deconstructs, post after post, our patriarchal beliefs and opens the field of feminist reflection.

Gender inequalities are not necessarily conscious, and many people perpetuate them without realizing what they are doing.

This March 8th can be for you, dear friend, the opportunity to analyze one’s behavior and relationship with women.

The idea is not to whip yourself into thinking about all those times you may not have been the greatest feminist, but to acknowledge your actions and reflect on them.

Could it also be an opportunity to write to certain women to go back to a time when, perhaps, you didn’t treat them the same way? There is nothing wrong with asking for forgiveness.

Dear friend, March 8, manage your friends

There is a part of sexism that we feminist women can’t do much about: many guys don’t listen to women.

Consequently we will still be able to shout, our voice will be filtered by the ears of those who do not consider women’s words interesting.

The good news is this you too, dear friend, have a voice. And maybe you will be listened to more.

If your friend catcalls a girl on the street, you say to yourself “ Oh, that’s it, a little heavy but not bad » ? Or do you tell him it’s heavy and it’s not happening?

If your brother explains to you that his bitchy teacher gave him a bad grade because he must have been on his period, do you leave it alone? Or are you questioning his view of women and their menstrual cycles?

I could list a hundred examples, but I think you get the idea.

The journey towards equality can be done together and that also means that you, dear friend, have a role to play. Especially with the guys in your life.

Dear friend, March 8, do not support marketing

Every year it’s the same story: brands imagine that March 8th is a good opportunity to offer flowers, to make 2 lace flip-flops for the price of 1 or to lower the price of vacuum cleaners.

It is not. It’s even offensive. Because today we fight for our rights, not to consume, not to have favors or discounts.

So, dear man, even though you may have a good intention, do not offer flowers today. Do not take advantage of the special “Women’s Day” promo. Don’t confuse activism and consumerism.

Dear friend, March 8, spend money

What ? Yes, I know, I just told you that for the good iron plan it is better to abstain. But don’t worry, if you want to spend money, you can still do it.

You can support feminist associations, NGOs that defend women’s rightswhether near you or on the other side of the world.

Small sample:

• Support associations that help victims of domestic violence
• Support En avant tous, which fights against domestic violence among young couples (from 10 euros per year)
• Support the Chiennes de Garde, the oldest French feminist movement (€20 per year)
• Support the Women’s Foundation, which fights for equality (free amount)
• Support Strass, the sex work union (from €10 per year)
• Support for the Basic Rules, which fights menstrual poverty (free amount)
• Support Les Internettes, which highlights women on YouTube (from €10 per year)

Dear friend, March 8, remember that March 8 is all year round

Finally, and this will be my last piece of advice: dear friend, this March 8th, tell yourself March 8th will never end.

All these commitments must be applied all year round, because the fight for equality has no time limits.

So never stop questioning yourself, being interested, committing yourself, campaigning, questioning yourself, educating yourself, informing yourself, moving.

Against sexism, every gesture counts. And I’m counting on you!

Listen to Apéro des Daronnes, Madmoizelle’s show that aims to break down taboos on parenting.