Doctor Monboule is the person to turn to in case of need questions regarding sexuality. Yes, Madmoizelle is back in action to accompany you in your torments… of your ass.
Do you have questions about your sex life? Do you have desires or fantasies and don’t know how to talk about them or make them come true? Every week, Docteure Monboule helps you put your finger on what you need (or in it, whichever you prefer)!
The promise of this consultation is this you will come away with useful advice, without judgments or injunctions…And bad puns, why not?
If you have any questions to ask your doctor, write to us at drmonboule[at]madmoizelle.com with subject “ SOS Doctor Monboule »
“Dear Doctor Monboule,
I’m coming off a breakup 6 months ago that left me completely heartbroken. So, since I don’t feel ready to be in a relationship again, I’ve been wandering around dating apps for a while now.
I’ve had a few dates with about ten girls so far that have gone pretty well, but nothing extraordinary.
A month ago I met Sibylle on Tinder. The flow passed immediately. We’re looking for the same thing (i.e. having fun), we get along great and sexually… it’s the best sex of my life!
Big problem: my name is Sibylle too. At first she didn’t bother me. She even made me laugh when we matched on the dating app. It’s quite rare, as a name!
But now that I’m starting to get a little attached, and above all that we see each other quite regularly with other people, this stops me. It’s a bit silly, I know! But when someone calls me and we both turn around at the same time, or when I hear him say my name in moments of intimacy, it discourages me a little…
To top it off, some people find that we look very similar physically: same hair color, same facial expressions, same clothing style, and same trumpet nose. A friend even told me we looked like sisters… Berk.
In short, I feel like I’m dating my double, and that’s holding me back. Help !
Sibyl »
Oh wow. This is a letter I didn’t expect. In fact, it must be a lot of fun associate intimately with one’s namesake or someone we perceive as our clone!
Rejoice, It could be much worse. At least you didn’t realize that you were dating someone who had the same name as your mother or who looked exactly like your Aunt Albertine…
Sibylle, is not the most common name in the worldso it is understandable to be upset that your chosen one shares this with you.
However, I think we need to put things into perspective. Take a deep breath and follow my prescription.
Prescription 1: Find out why it bothers you so much
Why does the fact that your sexual partner has the same name make you shiver with horror?
The situation reminds you of your middle school years, when all the popular Julies in fifth grade looked at each other like stone dogs to determine who would get the privilege of keeping their full name and who would inherit a derivative as dehumanizing as Julie B. or Juju?
You’re afraid of lose your uniquenessPerhaps ?
Or is it the fact that, knowing how difficult it can be to navigate the public sphere as a lesbian couple, you don’t want to add to that by sharing the same nickname as your partner?
And does it particularly bother you in bed? Without wanting to stick my nose in poop – but I’ll do it anyway – if you masturbate you’re already making love to yourself: why then experiment? a disgust towards someone named like you who is intimate with youand why associate a simple name with your whole person?
Ask yourself the right questions. As you respond, you may realize that your fear has no solid basis.
Prescription 2: empty your bag
Your discomfort is there, then better to talk about it. To a psychologist, if you find it blocking it is necessary to understand where this fear comes from; to your loved ones so that they can give you their support and help you find a simple solution (limiting jokes about the topic, for example)… and to your partner!
Ask her if she shares your reluctance and tell her yours. He might find the right words to reassure you. You may have more in common than just your names, and that’s great!
Prescription 3: Find alternatives to your names
I don’t know you personally, but I bet not only you you rarely use your partner’s full name when you’re with her, but you rarely even say yours out loud. The only times they can be embarrassing are at the stake and in the company of other people. This already limits the damage.
Why not find nicknames for yourself ? This will solve the problem quickly! The choice is yours: you can shorten one of the two names, play with your surnames, find a funny or cute nickname for it or even call yourself Sibylle 1 and Sibylle 2 if you want to stay on the topic of cloning. (but I’m not sure it will help you overcome your discomfort… Although humor can be useful to alleviate certain embarrassing situations!)
It might be a little early to call it.” my love “, but after all it’s up to you!
In any case, if you opt for this solution, communicate your new pseudonyms to those around you so that they can adopt them in your presence.
Prescription 4: Put things in perspective
You are not the same person : He is neither your long-lost twin nor your clone. You simply share the same name, like many people on this Earth.
Even if you have other similarities, as long as you don’t spend time matching outfits and finishing each other’s sentences: everything is fine.
It’s even quite cute, and pretty funny, in my opinion! I can already imagine the faces of the people you will introduce yourself to: “Hi, my name is Sibylle and this is my partner, Sibylle”. If you can, play it, it’s not that bad!
And then remember, after all, you don’t have to do it either screaming his (your) name at the moment of orgasm…Unless this is your illusion, of course.
Do you need advice? Write to the testimonials[at]madmoizelle.com with subject “ SOS Doctor Monboule » !
Photo credits: Ketut Subiyanto (Pexels)
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
