Should: Why does society still believe that a woman should get married?

What do people dream of? Leave a mark on history, make a discovery, travel the world, reach the peak of your career; the list is endless. What does a woman dream of? Marry. Or rather, I just have to imagine it.

The world is changing, but expectations from women do not change

The institution of marriage arose for two well-studied reasons: economic and demographic. The first is a mutually beneficial union of farms, and the second is the birth of heirs who will continue to own this farm. There is not a single word about love in this context. Even trust and respect, for which joint management of property is a thankless task, has only recently begun to be challenged by historical standards. Only in the 13th century AD. The church became an obligatory participant in the ceremony, reminding of the respect that a husband has for his wife (and, of course, that the head of the family and the sole manager of assets is a man). Therefore, it is not surprising that the more rights women have gained for themselves throughout history, the more their ideas of marriage have changed – right down to the question: Why do I need this?

Why does a modern woman need marriage?

The most common reason why “all women want to get married” is thought to be social and financial uplift, and there’s some logic to that. Research from consulting companies shows that although the rate of female senior managers and board members in Russia increases every year, it has not reached 10 percent. On the other hand, those who can achieve this social uplift are only 0.4 percent (according to Rosstat, this is the number of those who have a salary of more than 400,000 rubles and pay personal income tax, “wealth tax”, at an increasing rate). Moreover, this 0.4% rate includes both men and women. That’s why, according to surveys, the potential husband’s wallet is still not among the top reasons why we decide to wear a white dress. The main motivation is trust in the partner and the desire to join forces for joint projects (children, major purchases, etc.).

The choice is only ours

And it’s very simple: If you have the confidence and desire, why not; if it is not there, there is no need to follow the lead. It is characteristic that the current trend is just this: according to the same Rosstat, the average age of brides has increased from 18-24 to 25-34 in less than ten years, and the majority managed to live with their future. her husband for about a year. This means that, like generations before us, we have ceased to see cohabitation as the career of a “wife and mother” and have clearly drawn the line between the personal and the public. And we decide for ourselves whether to enter into a legal marriage, whether to prefer a de facto marriage, whether to choose the guest format, or even whether to build our life without our partner. This is not loneliness – because we are at peace with ourselves, it is lack of freedom – because it is natural to be free and close to a man. This is a decision that every woman has her own reasons for and that concerns no one but herself.