November 27, 2021
Sure, bachelorette parties are happy times. Celebrate love, friendship and the deep bonds that unite them. It is also an excellent opportunity to meet up with loved ones, have fun and create new encounters…
But there is a but. Four readers decided to express it.
“My laptop vibrating every three seconds for three months was unbearable. »
When there is one, it’s okay…
It is Jeanne*, 29 years old, who tells the first:
“When I had to organize the first bachelor party for a friend of mine, I was over the moon: I didn’t count my time or my money. We had a great time, and it’s one of the memories I keep the most.
This is the part of the truth that I am telling him. The other part is that stress is not possible, the dozens of calls after grueling days at work, the pressure of not being good enough, the anxiety that things don’t go as planned, the high cost, becausewe place great anticipation on these events… »
Next year, when two, then three of his friends plan to marry the same period, Jeanne knows very well what awaits her, and this makes her nervous in anticipation.
“We know it’s a special time for brides-to-be and no one wants to ruin it. But we also need to realize this you are most likely not the only person more or less thirty of having decided to get married between June and September in our lives!
Have you ever tried to organize a weekend with friends at twelve o’clock? Try doing it three times in the same season, with people who don’t know each other, and on one occasion that requires you to do special things.
After a moment, the slightest WhatsApp notification made me want to flee around the world without telling anyone. Me, I’m sick of EVJF and I wish we could hear this. »
The pressure of the EVJF full of glitter
When Paula*, 27, had to organize a bachelorette party for one of her friends, his first reaction was one of anxiety:
“I was a victim of violence at school my entire childhood and I feel very bad about groups. I immediately put myself in the background, because it brings me back to very old and very bad memories…. So I was terribly distressed by the idea of these EVJFs. »
In the end, she’s pleasantly surprised by the good times you are having on both occasions. Also meet several very close friends there! But some things seem difficult to manage. She resumes:
” The organization is awful: there is enormous pressure to surprise the bride, to create spontaneity, to surprise… But it is far from spontaneous for the ten people who spend months organizing!
And then there’s a pressure to do something over the top. Consuming too much, drinking too much, being too enraptured in front of the bride-to-be… We lose in nature. For me a weekend with friends is not that! »
It also mentions the financial burden of having to do this sometimes astronomical advance for ten people… Some of which took months to pay back.
Spending a weekend with twelve strangers, what a joy
Marina is 28 years old and her experience as an EVJF is marked by discomfort. Of the 15 people invited to the weekend dedicated to one of her friends, they were all very different and struggled to stay together.
“We hadn’t known each other since Eve or Adam, and we weren’t at all the same kind of people—sometimes I felt a little uneasy. There were some quarrels about the activities to be carried out, and the person who organized everything was very easily offended…
Finally, there was a moment where we were all tired, and where one of the EVJF organizers started crying because he was afraid no one was having fun. Namely the pressure she had put on herself. We, she made us even more uncomfortable. It’s not because we got slammed that we were having a bad weekend!
Furthermore, the organizers of the EVJF were completely against these types of events and against marriage in general. They were not at all comfortable organizing all this! »
She specifies:
“Me, I don’t particularly like marriage, but in addition I find it the concept of EVJF is too gendered. There is a very standardized side behind the idea of ”his last night before he settles down, you have to spend it with girls or boys”.
If I had to organize a bachelor party, I think I would just do a simple, mixed evening, something that the person likes without having to respect the bachelor party codes where you have to play games, activities, certain things at all costs…”
Address one last point, also underlined by all the interviewees a hint of tremor in the voice:
” Then, my laptop vibrating every three seconds for three months, it was unbearable. »
You can’t say no to a bachelor party
Candice*, 30, is annoyed by the social pressure around these events. She details:
“It’s awful, the pressure on this kind of event. Someone is getting married, they are happy, they want to share their happiness with you. There is an “elected” side: it is very flattering to have been chosen to spend a privileged moment with the future bride!
The problem is thatwe have absolutely no choice: I personally found myself thrown into bachelor parties for people I barely knew, unable to politely decline… I had neither the time nor the financial means to invest in these events. I also didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of doing a hammam with a dozen strangers, doing things that didn’t look like me at all..
But in truth, it doesn’t matter what you want in those moments. Nobody wants to say no or ruin the moment, which should also be a prelude to marriage! We tell ourselves that we must please the bride-to-be at all costs.
So I said yes, I grit my teeth… And this created a form of distance between me and the future bride, because I felt taken hostage. While the goal, basically, was to get closer. »
Jeanne, Candice, Marina and Paula all wrap it upThey still had fun on those occasions. — some met people there, others enjoyed the activities or just enjoyed seeing a friend be happy.
But their observation is clear: for them, when it comes to bachelorette parties, simplicity is the best recipe for having fun… And avoid having panic attacks in front of limousine quotes.
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
