April 1994. Claire*, 21, is pregnant. She and Hugues*, 26, have been together for less than a year. ” I was in love. We got along well, we laughed a lot “remember this maid, now fifty years old. ” When I announced the pregnancy to him he was delighted and motivated. It seemed that he was fulfilling his lifelong dream. He wanted to have a “beautiful family”. ” Summer is coming. Hughes is leaving make a season earn money in anticipation of the baby’s arrival. A hundred kilometers separate them.
On her return, at the beginning of the school year, the young woman feels it” less interested than before “. ” There was a distance “, explains. ” I was kidding myself that he might be worried. He then finds, hidden, a love letter signed by a 17-year-old girl. They argue. Hugues denies, she knows she is lying. ” I was very upset… So tense that I had to go to the hospital two months early. I gave birth a month apart! Despite everything, Claire chooses to forgive him. ” Because I had the fantasy of being a “real family”. I thought everything would be fine. I wanted my daughter to have a dad. Six months later, they separate.
A fear shared by many women
Claire and Hugues are not isolated cases. According to feminist sexologist Lucie Groussin, few pregnant women would leave their partner after infidelity. “Pregnancy is a complicated time. “, explains. Difficult to live a separation at this time. “ There will be the great fear of saying to oneself: “So my son won’t have a father?“So people still want to try. Some break up in the beginning, then get back together in the third trimester. »
In a two-parent project, pregnancy must be “a moment of respect and understanding”. However, “many women share a fear of being cheated on during pregnancy,” notes Lucie Groussin. The specialist wants to be reassuring: “I don’t think that being pregnant in itself increases the risk of infidelity. Furthermore, there are no “serious scientific investigations and reliable data” that go in this direction. The only advanced figure, which has been in the media for fifteen years, is from the book What is your pregnant man thinking? (2005). American psychologist Robert Rodriguez writes that one in ten men would be unfaithful during his partner’s pregnancy. Difficult to quantify in reality.
Don’t hold back your emotions
Lucie Groussin reminds us that faced with such an ordeal, we must not repress our emotions, even in full pregnancy. “ You shouldn’t feel guilty about the child being in an uncomfortable state, although you do need to take care of yourself “, he specifies. ” You must be accompanied by your midwife, your gynecologist, your maternity psychologist. It is very important to express yourself, speak, find an attentive word. Whether with a professional or a loved one. Above all, you shouldn’t be alone. “Even the sexologist recommends” do not make hasty decisions » and think of « couples therapy “.
However, the best will in the world isn’t necessarily enough to undo the damage. “ If something serious happens, there’s always time to think about where to give the father “explains the sexologist. Lisa*, 34, a logistics agent in a depot, had to make this difficult choice. She fell from a height in October 2022. This mother has a two-and-a-half-year-old son and a one-month-old daughter. After a very complicated pregnancy, she discovers her partner’s infidelities.
“He Broke My Heart”
” I would put my hand to cut that this guy would never cheat on me ”, she says. She even chooses to ignore the first clues: I used his amazon account one day… he offered me to “reorder” viagra or “perfume to attract women.”” She can no longer hide her face when her 17-year-old niece shows her the text messages sent by her partner, offering to “ massage it ” OR ” have a drink “. He later discovers that he has several Facebook and Instagram accounts, but also profiles on dating apps… On which he flirts with hundreds of women.
She leaves him immediately. ” It broke my heart “, she says. ” It compromised my breastfeeding as I was having difficulty eating. But I managed. I’m better off without him. “Since then she has found the support of the Le Café des Bébés association, which has allowed her to emerge from isolation. ” It helps me a lot, we see each other three times a week, we talk. A breath of fresh air in Lisa’s everyday life. You can count on the Brotherhood of the Daronnes to resist.
Like her, if necessary, do not hesitate to approach support associations for parents of young children or dedicated to single mothers. Above all, don’t hesitate to ask for help, from those around you or the professionals.
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
