“Being there, alone, with this little boy I didn’t know, in the evening, made me sad”: Jeanne recounts her birth

• First name : Jane
• Age at delivery : 29 years old
• Expected child : November 22, 2021
• The baby has arrived : November 19, 2021
• Arrival time at the hospital : 4h
• Delivery time : 11:07
• Baby’s height and weight at birth : 3.4kg / 49cm

I am 31 years old, my partner Benoît is 38 and we are parents of two children: Jacques, 2 and a half years old, and Thelma, who is 15 months younger than Jacques. She was born on November 19, 2021.

A surprise pregnancy soon after the return of diapers

For Jacques, I had stopped taking the pill in September and got pregnant in early December. For Thelma, my pregnancy was a surprise. I had stopped breastfeeding Jacques a month ago and I didn’t have diapers yet. We did not have not put back in place of contraception, and that was enough once…

In March 2021, the more days went by, the more nauseous I felt. On Saturday morning, to rule out a potential pregnancy, my wife went to buy a pregnancy test. Within seconds, the two lines indicating that I was pregnant appeared on the test (while for Jacques the second line was barely visible). I was happy because I knew I wanted to have children close by. But I had a pang in my heart looking at Jacques, because he was still so young (he was 6 months old). My husband had the exact same reaction.

The first three months of pregnancy were really difficult. I threw up a lot, to the point where I couldn’t get out of bed for days. My mother came to babysit Jacques, because I was unable to take care of him. A new medicine from Canada saved me, why I think I could have been hospitalized if I didn’t have it to relieve myself. I couldn’t eat anything and was losing weight.

For Jacques’ pregnancy, I hadn’t been ill, so I didn’t expect it! My grandmother had 12 children and only got sick for the girls !

Then, finally, little by little, after the first quarter, It stopped. On the other hand, for my two pregnancies, I was very tired from start to finish.

I wasn’t particularly afraid of giving birth, because the first one (which had taken place vaginally) had gone well. I was just afraid of giving birth prematurelybecause Jacques was born on the verge of prematurity.

Fear of induction or caesarean section

That said, I’m still scared of having to have a cesarean. I was hoping that my gynecologist, who gave birth to me the first time, could be present for this second birth. And I was hoping to get there in time for them to ask me for an epidural!

Throughout this period I have occasionally seen the midwife who had followed my first pregnancy remotely (due to Covid). But I was much more relaxed than the first time.

The only thing that bothered me was thathe offered to induce labor several times (work with my gynecologist). I, on the other hand, wanted things to happen as naturally as possible. So I declined every timesaying that I preferred to wait until the last moment.

That too is accurate I followed (with my gynecologist and a physiotherapist) the EPI-NO program to avoid having to undergo an episiotomy as much as possible. I don’t know if that’s why, but I haven’t had an episiotomy.

I expected to give birth about a month early like Jacques, but it turned out differently. The expiration date was approaching and there was no sign showing that the birth was coming. AND I was increasingly panicked, as I hadn’t felt any real contractions for Jacques (it was the leak in the water bag that alarmed me).

I was afraid, this time, of having contractions, not recognizing them and giving birth at home. Then finally, in the night between 18 and 19 November, those famous contractions woke me upi measured them using a contraction tracker app which finally advised me to go to the clinic! While I take a showerbecause I absolutely wanted to wash my hair before leaving, my waters broke.

“It pained me to wake up the anesthetist, so I waited”

We arrived at the clinic at night. My gynecologist was there which immediately relieved me. The contractions were starting to get really painful, so I thought I would give birth quickly. But finally the cervix wasn’t dilated enough. Then I tried to eat as much as possible before getting the epidural, because for my first delivery I couldn’t eat for almost 24 hours and it had been quite difficult.

Then, just before 7 in the morning, a midwife came to ask me if I wanted her to wake up the anesthetist on duty to give me an epidural. It pained me to wake the anesthetist, so I waited. But I think it woke him up anyway and I admit the epidural really relieved me.

During my labor, my partner was there to entertain me and was very supportive.

Next, an oxytocin bag was placed speed up the work. Then, before 11, my gynecologist, a midwife, a nurse and the anesthetist met and I learned that the expulsion was about to begin. Everyone had confused me the first time, but I was given to understand that in a private clinic there were more people present than in the hospital. But honestly, I didn’t care.

The expulsion and the meeting with the child

I remember that for Jacques I didn’t have time to learn to push. For this time, I wanted to be the good student by pushing like I was taught. Finally, this second time, I felt throughout most of the clearing that my pushes were useless. Was it the effect of the epidural? Perhaps. Then at 11:04 I told my gynecologist, in desperation “But I’ll Never Get There”. He replied laughing: “Lady, it’s 11:04, 11:07 your baby will be on you”. And she was right.

It might be a cliche, but the moment of the expulsion and the moment my baby was placed on top of me was truly magical. I was happy, my husband too. I was just afraid the nurse would drop her when she brought her to dress her!

My obsession was that she could breastfeed. Shortly before the birth I had told the assistant that Jacques had immediately managed to suckle correctly and awkwardly, she had answered me, a bit brusquely, that every baby was different.

Then, finally, Thelma also managed to suck properly right from the start.

The first days of maternity and the return home

The maternity leave went well. I didn’t want to take a bath, because I wanted her first bath to take place in the context of a thalassotherapy bath. They were a little skeptical at first, but they didn’t oppose this choice.

The only difficult moments have been the end of the day my wife left us to go home find my mother and Jacques.

Being there, alone, with this little boy I didn’t know, in the evening, gave me the blues. I had felt the same feeling for Jacques. I hadn’t dared to insist that my husband stay with us, as I was happy that during the day he was fit to look after Thelma and let me rest.

The ride home was uneventful, of course. I never had to complain about the distribution of tasks.

I was told that having a first child was more life changing than having a second, but I found the arrival of the second one more difficult to manage. Perhaps because Jacques was still very young, and therefore very little independent. I had to pick him up in the evening from the nanny with Thelma in her pouch, to manage his bath and her dinner, as well as manage Thelma alone in the evening, because my wife often came home after Jacques had gone to bed. . I have also had several painful milk releases with fever. Then little by little a new rhythm was established and I was happy with this new life at 4 years old.

I keep one wonderful memory of this birth and the previous oneso much so that sometimes I think so I wish a third child had the chance to relive this moment (but I know it might not happen the same way).

it happens to me too I dream that I am about to give birth and I feel some kind of bliss when I wake up.

I will do everything the same!