My son has autism, but that’s not what defines him

There are many ways to talk about your child’s autism. I may choose to tell you the obstacle course just to get a diagnosisappointments with speakers who don’t have the same speech, administrative hell to have THE sesame and false joys with every email received stamped MDPH (Departmental House for the Disabled).

I could talk sleepless nights due to her inconsolable crying spellshasty departures from the shops with your child who you have to carry like a sack of potatoes howling to death and thrashing like a tiger in your arms… And so many other nervous breakdowns because we don’t take the same route as usual or because something it was poorly explained and that’s not what he understood.

Follow-up by a speech therapist and considerable progress

Aaron is 4 years old. He is in the middle section and has been in school part time since his first start of the school year. He is, to put it simply, mild non-verbal autism. That means she didn’t have the keys to communicating verbally with the world.

He had to and is still learning to speak. For a year he has been followed by Justine, his speech therapist who is simply brilliant and thanks to whom he has made considerable progress. He doesn’t understand social codes and the why and how of certain things. Even if we explain it to him, it doesn’t make sense to him.

But Aaron, for me, is not like that.

In fact, when we talk about autistic children, we are talking about the child’s autism, but not about him. If I had to define Aaron’s dream life, it would be to live permanently in the summer, naked, in a swimming pool among dinosaurs, eating chocolate, ice cream and pizza listening to the soundtrack of mega man 2.

He has a strong and good charactera bit authoritarian. There, in this moment, he decided that he was tired of doing what grown-ups ask him to do, well yes because he couldn’t be a chef even a bit. Then he rebels, our every refusal leads to a ” It’s not right !!! “ followed by a slamming of the door (strong adolescence). When it has access to authority it throws you a good one: “No, it’s not you who said that, it’s me”.

A passion for dinosaurs

Despite that, Aaron is a nugget of happiness. He’s always happy, even when he’s sick, and when things don’t go well, if it lasts an hour, it’s the end of the world. He loves robots, pirate ships since he saw treasure planetvideo games old school and has a passion for dinosaurs that surpasses all.

While he can’t speak full sentences, he can correct you if you get the wrong dino breed (don’t mess with that!). His ultimate dream: I FINALLY let him watch Jurassic Park.

Paradoxically, he is a real chatterbox. He talks a lot but above all he always sings, all day long. Recently, you have been inventing lyrics for existing songs. So we were entitled to it “I want pizza, I want pizza” instead of “Up town funk you up” by Bruno Mars o “I Love Pigs” aired on Mc Gyver (if so, go and take the test, you’ll thank me seriously).

He developed his own dance style: half classical, half hip hop. He is in love with Beyoncé and Rihanna. If you want to take it down to the living room, swing ‘Single Ladies’ to see it return at lightning speed. He loves all styles of music as long as he slaps. At the moment, he is more interested in rap and electronic music.

The Hug Festival

His love is being squeezed and intertwined between his two parents (we are part of the co-sleeping cult). Morning and evening are a pampering feast. She shares her love between dad, mom and especially Nova her dog.

He has the right to love serenades: “You are my cute kro dog” followed by a thousand kisses on the nose. They spend their days cuddling and playing. And when he’s tired or ill, he can stay in my arms all day like a gorillon.

Aaron is also the king of jokes. His hobbies: stealing your spot in bed, hiding when you look for him (we can hear him giggling 5 blocks away) and telling you he lost something he was holding. There, it’s more subtle because it’s with you that it pretends to search and is waiting to see how long you realize it has it. The must for him is to do it 3 minutes before leaving for school.

But ESPECIALLY to me and his dad, Aaron is a 4 year old boy who behind this smile and this energy, he’s constantly struggling to understand this strange world he’s supposed to live in. This world with its lights too bright, its noises too loud, and its people too violent who scream and make big gestures and get annoyed over nothing.

Aaron, he’s a warrior

Who struggles to be accepted at school, have friends and find a way to communicate with them. That he finds it hard to just talk to his parents about what he loves or what worries him.

A little boy who find it difficult to control their emotions and especially this rage monster who sometimes escapes and does a lot of damage. Who above all struggles every day as a leader to be with us, in our world and have the strength to leave his well-built fortified city in his head, in which he is a superhero who has all the powers and where nothing can happen to him.

But when the evening comes to snuggle up against me, exhausted from so many struggles, and looks at me with its merry scoundrel air, I don’t worry.

Aaron is a warrior.

Photo Credit Image One: This kid isn’t Aaron, but he seems to like dinosaurs as much as he does… @Eddie Kopp / Unsplash