Help! I stalked my boss on Insta and accidentally liked a picture of him in his underwear

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to rescue a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

I work for a big box and my N+2 is great. We have to collaborate a lot in the workplace, but our relationship is strictly professional, even if I fail every time.

I know it’s just a crush on work. But, Daronne, you would see his smile, and her eyes, and her hands, and then…her buttocks. I crack. I like him so much that I stalked him on Instagram and I wasn’t disappointed: Mr. poses in costume many times on his profile which is public, too!

I’m not sure how I got there, but without doing it on purpose… I liked one of the most suggestive photos! With a profile in my real name! He’ll know I’m stalking him online. I immediately unliked, but the notification must have appeared! He’s on his way right now but will be back next week. What should I do ?

Sami

Daronne’s answer

My little hummingbird,

Tell me, do I have the right to laugh anyway? You readers are way too cute, every time you tell me about moments of interstellar embarrassment like your life is over and you ask me to put you down on the spot. But believe my experience, in truth, your stories are certainly very uncomfortable, but one, it happens to both of you, they are not serious. At all. Honestly, no one leaves this world without carrying a bag of great shame heavier than a dead donkey. And luckily! What would we talk about in the evening otherwise?

I seriously think that this mortified way of looking at the world and our bullshit, we inherit from our teenage traumas. We’re stuck on his 15th birthday, the day we asked Félix from drawing class to go out with us, and not only did he say no. BUT ALSO, he went on to brag about it to all of his friends making fun of us. For some reason I don’t know, at that age, loving and being loved is shameful and leaves traces.

But believe me, once you become an adult, that blessed age where you finally stop mentioning Damien Saez in all your MSN statuses, realizing that someone finds you attractive, is cool. Finally, personally, when I see in a male friend a sincere and respectful interest in my person, even if not reciprocated, I am flattered. It’s nice for everyone to see that we like it. If I was your boss, I won’t lie to you, I would find this all very strange out of the blue. But not weird weirdo (after all, if I don’t care in a swimsuit on my public profile, it’s good for people to see me), kinda weird like: ah ok, I still have it !

What to do after liking the sexy photo?

Now that the sexy photo is liked, and potentially disliked, behave as everyone should behave after a very, very embarrassing event, but a priori without any impact on anyone’s future: act as if nothing had happened.

Maybe the handsome manager saw something similar, maybe you’re actually a bunch that appreciates his semi-nudity every day, and your notification drowned out the rest. You’ll never know, because a priori he won’t tell you about it anymore. If he’s a normal human being, his behavior shouldn’t change one iota. At least in a professional context. After all, your manager remains a man, and he probably isn’t spared the episodes of punctual awkwardness inherent in his gender. It is therefore not impossible that during an evening after work particularly alcoholic, comes to gratify you with a: ” So, so, do you like my photos? » despite being tipsy. It’s up to you to see what you want to do with this wicked borderline rhetorical question when the time comes.

Imagine, he likes you too

As I told you, this invigorating and anecdotal event will be followed in 80% of cases by a silence that will be neither embarrassed nor charged with meaning. Frankly, if your superior doesn’t give a damn about getting stuck on a guy who has since disappeared, the event will at least have the benefit of revealing that the beautiful manager above all has the IQ of a pustule. But in short, so 80% of the cases. In the remaining 20% ​​probability, we can devote 2% or 3% to whelk IQ. There is therefore still a 17% chance that this story has a much happier ending than originally anticipated.

I don’t know your respective situations in terms of romantic availability. But let’s assume you and the chef are open to new encounters. Let’s also assume that the chef said to himself when he saw your like: “OH BAH WHAT, CHIC THEN! You may see, over the next few weeks, some emphatic smiles from him, and perhaps even attempts to engage in deep conversation. Unless he’s enjoying his drunken evening after work mentioned above to demonstrate our mutual interest. Despite its confusing nullity, the professional binge is the technique that works by far the best for catching our work crushes (if the mutual attraction and the co-worker are in a state of consent, of course).

I leave you, I have to put my Instagram account in private,

bisette,

Your daron,

Image credit of one: Pexels