Chelsea Handler takes shots at Prince Harry, James Corden, Congress and more in opening monologue at Critics Choice Awards

In her debut as the host of the Critics Choice Awards, Chelsea Handler opted for a traditional Hollywood roast in her opening monologue.

“It’s an honor to host you tonight after everything we’ve been through together between Covid, monkeypox and the past few years Don’t worry love press tour. It was a lot,” Handler said at the beginning of her monologue, a reference to the many disgusting stories Don’t worry loveDirector Olivia Wilde and stars Harry Styles and Florence Pugh arrived just before the movie’s release.

Prince Harry is everywhere these days, between promoting his memoir, Spare and Netflix promoting the ad Harry and Megan documentary series. He made a number of revelations, one of which seemed to deeply affect Handler.

“Niecy Nash-Betts has been nominated damn damn became the third most-watched show on Netflix with a combined viewing time of 1 billion hours,” she said. And apparently that’s as much time as we have to hear Prince Harry talk about his frozen penis. That’s enough.”

Harry’s friend, Brit James Corden, was not spared either, and took a shot at his alleged behavior which briefly banned him from posh New York restaurant Balthazar.

Handler did so while acknowledging the cast of FX’s breakout comedy The bear. “They showed us how exhausting and how absolutely miserable working in the hospitality industry can be, and they didn’t even have to wait for James Corden,” she said.

She went on to reference another talk show host, Ellen DeGeneres, and allegations of toxic workplaces by staffers at her former daytime show, though Handler never named her fellow comedian.

“In the movie Tar, Kate [Blanchett] portrayed an iconic lesbian whose career is affected by her toxic behavior. And she doesn’t even have to host her own daytime talk show,” Handler said.

She also joked about Hollywood’s latest weight loss obsession, Ozempic.

Following a reference to Julia Roberts’ nomination for her role in gas light, Handler said, “The word gaslighting was actually Merriam-Webster’s word of the year. And for those of you who don’t know, gaslighting is when someone tries to convince you that your own perception of reality is wrong. Like when celebrities say they lost weight by drinking water, but it’s actually because everyone is taking Ozempic.

Handler also gave her own comedic take on Kanye West’s anti-Semitic comments about Jews and Hollywood.

“There were solid Jewish dishes for this awards season. We have the mythical creatures, and The Fleishmans, and this giant bagel inside Everything everywhere at once“, she said. “We’ve all heard a lot of nonsense lately about Jews running Hollywood. And I want to say, as a Jewish woman, what if they do? Who cares? The French run bakeries, Italians run the mafia and Sweden run IKEA.”

Outside of Hollywood, Handler spoke about the fall of Roe v. Calf.

“I’m just happy to be here tonight and support critics’ right to vote,” she said. “At least someone has a choice, unless she’s a critic, and then it just depends on which state they live in.”

And at the end of her monologue, she also planned the congress.

“It is an honor to be here tonight to have you all celebrate the brilliant results of all your hard work, talent and dedication over the past year,” Handler told the audience. “You’ve entertained us, you’ve moved us, you’ve enlightened us, and for the first time, Congress is more dysfunctional than Hollywood. It has even more sex offenders, so we’ve already won.”