It can be hard to imagine the kind of devastating comeback that will leave a rival stunned when you’re in the middle of a heated argument.
But not everyone struggles to come up with powerful (yet bizarre) responses, as evidenced by the creative and random threats shared by social media users on the Rare Threats subreddit, collected into a hilarious gallery by Bored Panda.
Among the angry threats from around the world was one that condemned an enemy as having “the fleas of a thousand camels.” [their] armpits’.
Meanwhile, an angry driver has vowed to take revenge on another motorist if he parks poorly again by “waiting in line”. [their] cart with slices of cheese”.
It costs the onion! A social media user shared this hilarious threat from an angry gardener hoping “the fleas of a thousand camels” would end up in the armpits of someone who stole their vegetables
And to prevent their gear from being tampered with, a proactive sound engineer threatened to remove the kneecaps of anyone who touched their gear “with an ice pick.”
Meanwhile, a plate of smokers threatened that they would be “trampled” with an organic carrot.
Here, FEMAIL shares some of the weirdest threats ever seen…
Do not touch the device! It turns out that Eric is very protective of his sliders – removing the kneecaps from anyone who messes with them (an ice cream scoop, no less!)
Hung, pulled and rooted! Smokers are warned (with threats of extreme violence) that this premises is definitely not worth lighting up…
Bad sleep! Unhappy with being downgraded on Reddit, this embittered social media user expressed her displeasure at the discrepancy in the most outrageous way possible – by wishing them an awkward kiss
Goodbye Mona Lisa! Someone threatened to eat Leonardo aa Vinci’s famous masterpiece when it was suggested they would one day forget – a sure way to eternal shame
One obviously angry social media user warned that they were “shifting” a competitor’s legs – presumably with the aim of moving them from heel bone to cheek bone
Furious! A threatening letter was left for a driver who parked across two spaces, and an angry motorist vowed to cover the offending vehicle with slices of cheese.
Sour tongue! Only a fool would mess with this violent – but strangely creative – social media user who threatened his enemies by promising to “replace their stomach acid with wiper fluid.”
A series of threats: Social media users were busy compiling a list of diabolical fates they hoped would befall their enemies
Law of Disappearance: When an angry person received an awkward birthday message, they hit back with a disturbingly angry response
I wouldn’t if I were you! A sign clearly warned of the potential risks of crossing the fence
We Live in a Lego World: At least this angry warrior was creative when it came to threats, describing the chaos of the Lego world in which they hope their enemy will be forced to live
Spineless! A social media user compared his opponent’s spine to a noodle and threatened to “slurp” him.
don’t eat me When one person talked about eating a donut with a fork, an angry social media user threatened to eat him with a donut
run for it! The idea that group members are the “cool kids” was so flawed for one social media user that they said no army is “strong enough to defend you.”
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James is an author and travel journalist who writes for The Fashion Vibes. With a love for exploring new cultures and discovering unique destinations, James brings his readers on a journey with him through his articles.
