Go all out in Antigua: Welcome to the island’s most expensive resort with its own yacht and hatching turtles. you never forget

Here’s an alternative tagline to sum up Jumby Bay: “All Inclusive – and All Exclusive” rather than “a private island paradise” as it currently describes itself.

The overall part is self-explanatory and an absolute treat: no endless signing of little tickets when you order another rumpons or wonder what tip to add. You don’t have to try to remember your room number – or even your name.

The absolutely exclusive part is not to be trifled with either. To begin with, it is extremely exclusive to get there. From Antigua Airport, it’s a five-minute drive in a luxury car to a hip private marina, then a seven-minute ride aboard the resort’s yacht.

A glass and cool towel are offered on arrival, followed by a gentle buggy ride to your suite or villa (no rooms here) where you will receive a full ‘orientation’. How you spend your days then depends on you.

“I’ve been here for a week and hardly seen anyone,” says a guest as we wait for a massage at the spa.

“Do you come here often?” I ask.

“As often as I can, but did you know it’s said to be the most expensive hotel in the world? I heard the average nightly spend is £2,500.’

It is certainly the most expensive in Antigua. And it especially appeals to those who like to be in the Caribbean without necessarily experiencing much of the Caribbean beyond the weather, swaying palms and pristine beaches.

You won’t encounter any locals (except for the delightful staff); and there is no Rasta bar selling cheap Red Stripe lager, although there is a shuttle boat to mainland Antigua. Then allow about 40 minutes by taxi to English Harbour.

Mark describes the luxury island resort as “all inclusive – and all exclusive”.

Instead, at sunset, a waiter stands with a table in front of him in the water, from which he pours chilled rosé; A DJ stands nearby with his computers and speakers to produce electrified versions of reggae favourites.

On the other side of the resort, a pro waits to hit a few balls on the immaculate tennis court, while in the distance newcomers gently pedal around the 300-acre island.

There are no cars on Jumby. Your bike is waiting in front of your suite – or you can be transported in a pushchair. It’s all awfully safe, hence its popularity among families, even among those for whom the cost of living crisis isn’t a crisis at all.

Jumby Bay has been part of the German Oetker collection since 2017 (Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in the south of France, Le Bristol in Paris, The Lanesborough in London, etc.) and is incredibly opulent.

Upon arrival you will be offered a glass of wine and a cool towel, followed by a gentle buggy ride to your suite or villa

Most villas have their own private pools (rather than just plunge pools), outdoor tubs and showers, free minibars, four-poster beds and luxury linens.

In addition to the 40 suites and villas, there are 21 private homes, some of which are available for rent – Oprah Winfrey is said to be one such homeowner.

Opt for a private house that sleeps ten for a week and you’re looking at around £24,000 a night. It’s obviously crowded, but you can also pop into one of the three restaurants, including a fine-dining restaurant at The Estate House.

The whole island is immaculate. See turtles at Pasture Beach on the north shore. When you swim here, you will run out of superlatives to describe the experience. I won’t even try.

But the great thing about Jumby Bay is that the atmosphere remains relaxed. Dress up for dinner or don’t be smart casual, no one cares. Getting used to the real world again after a few days here is the big challenge – and not just because the wallet has suffered so much.

…or go for something simpler and cheaper

By Freddie Halliday

Arriving at the Siboney Beach Club Hotel, we are spotted by a tall Antiguan man in a Hawaiian shirt, jeans and sunglasses standing next to a red 1960s London telephone box.

“How many nights are you in Siboney? I organize all catamaran trips. Stingray snorkeling, coral reef swimming with turtles, barbecue lunch on Pelican Island and a tour of English Harbor – I am Antigua’s number one tour operator. My friends call me ‘Big!’

I’m not sure how many of these treats come our way. I am here with my wife and young daughter and we are on a tight budget.

Freddie Halliday and his family move into a luxury suite at the Siboney Beach Club. “We pay £290 a night for a luxury suite – and it’s high season,” he says

Siboney Beach Club is on the northwest coast, on Dickenson Bay, just outside the capital, St. John’s, on a tourist friendly white sand beach with relaxed restaurants where we ate quite cheaply at Casa Roots and Ana’s On The. Beach at around £12 – £20 per person.

The hotel is located on the beach and has 30 rooms. We pay £290 a night for a luxury suite – and this is high season. In the evening we watch frigatebirds dive and hear steel drums from the nearby Sandals resort. Our bay even has a floating bar 100 meters out to sea.

Excursions cost extra. Two large yellow catamarans are anchored in the bay and await their next adventure with Mr. Marvelous. For families with young children it is £75 per adult (babies free) for a short journey and £90 for a longer journey.

Siboney Beach Club is on a tourist-friendly white sand beach just outside the capital, St. John’s (above)

We pass these but do a guided tour of the island overlooking Shirley Heights, with spectacular views of Montserrat and Nelson’s Dockyard.

On the way back we see announcements about zip line tours in the rainforest, cycling, mangrove kayaking, hiking and paddle boarding. We can even see the house where cricketer Sir Viv Richards grew up.

A family trip to Antigua can be affordable – outside of December to March.