And even though Mercury retrograde has ended, this is the same previous “Are you sleeping?” It doesn’t mean he can return with his message. at three in the morning. Let’s be honest, such news from the past is not rarely read. At best, a showdown will follow, followed by a conversation, and at worst, he’ll be calling a taxi to your home address.
Of course, words like “you can’t go into the same river twice” can’t be used as a gag in every barrel, but you don’t need to run into the arms of an ex on the first meeting, either. Especially if the relationship did not end with a good word.
The Fashion Vibes columnist Anastasia Shvedko, author of the mental health blog Usafespace, talks about why we keep coming back to those who don’t fit us at all, and whether it’s possible to reconnect with those who once broke their hearts.
Anastasia Shvedko, author of the usafespace mental health blog
old = familiar, familiar = safe
Although our brain is plastic, it does not like change. He doesn’t like to expand his comfort zone: a new job is scary, a new image is exciting, and a new relationship is often deadly. What can be expected from all these changes? Its main task is to protect us, and it can only do this in familiar conditions and with the same variables.
Even if the relationship does not bring joy one way or another, over time one gets used to it and understands what to expect. In fact, any comfort zone eventually turns into a swamp that you can only get out of by expanding the boundaries. This is why people change negative attitudes and old patterns to move on and be happier.
Yes, it wasn’t that bad.
The brain (yes, it’s his fault again) is an incredible organ that can block the cause of the pain that causes separation. Over time, colors fade even after the scariest period of life. Good memories stand out against the background of forgotten bad, and a sense of nostalgia manages to overwhelm us with renewed vigor.
What if this is my only great love?
Low self-esteem is one of the main points of wanting to return to past relationships. And most of the time, it’s because of a partner who is consciously or unconsciously influencing you. Therefore, it may seem that all romantic stories in life are now over.
Clinical psychologist Karen Nimmo says it’s difficult to get out of any emotional relationship because a person associates violent emotions with passion and passions with love. We become addicted to these feelings, even if they do not make us happy.
do you need to go back to this?
Every case is unique. “Old” is a word that should not carry a negative connotation. Sometimes separation is good. They begin to better understand their feelings, realize their mistakes and achieve mutual understanding. Maturity also plays a big role: some need to grow up and become more conscious in order to form a harmonious union. Trust your feelings, but remember that the end of the old is always the beginning of something new and beautiful.
Once two adults have broken up by mutual consent and have not harmed each other in a relationship, they may realize that they are still better off together after breaking up.
What can you do to forget your ex forever?
The most effective and gentle way is psychotherapy. However, you can come to an inner sense of self-worth, work through internal traumas, and break free from old behavior patterns.
Analyze why past relationships ended. Make a list of everything you dislike and write down what you expect from the relationship in the future.
Get rid of anything that reminds you of it and avoid places where your paths might cross.
Take care of yourself: devote time to a hobby, take care of yourself more and fill your life with new colors. It’s time to refresh your hair (yes, you can bob) and go dancing!
Try techniques that can help you release the person energetically: write a farewell letter (without sending it) or meditate to disconnect.
Source: People Talk
I’m Roger Gritton, and I’ve been writing for the The Fashion Vibes for over 5 years now. My specialty is beauty news; I’m passionate about covering the latest trends, products, and innovations in the industry. In my time there, I’ve become known as an authority on all things beauty-related.
I love discovering new experts to interview, researching up-and-coming ingredients and techniques that are making their way onto our beauty shelves and highlighting people who are making a difference in the world of cosmetics. My work has appeared not only on The Fashion Vibes, but also several other publications including the New York Times Magazine, Allure Magazine and Refinery29.
