A woman sparked a heated debate online after she asked why parenting wasn’t considered career success.
Starting with an anonymous poster in the UK on the Mumsnet parenting forum, others asked if they thought parenting was “ungrateful” to professional results.
In the post, the woman explained that parenting is the hardest thing she’s ever done, but she said she’s rarely recognized as such by the community.
The post had mixed reactions, with some commenters arguing that having kids isn’t an achievement in itself, it’s good parenting.
An unnamed woman (not pictured) asked others on Mumsnet if they agreed that motherhood was less commendable than a successful career, sparking a debate.
The poster explained that motherhood can feel “ungrateful” and unrecognized in the same way as professional success.
She wrote: “Having a child is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I still feel like there’s nothing ‘special’ to pat on the back because most people have children. How would you do it – for example, if you had a very successful career.
“The social status that comes with being very successful in a career is not the same as being a mother. Most people can be “moms,” but most people don’t have very successful careers.
‘Is it just me, or is it the standard thing to be a mother that seems a little ‘ungrateful’ to society? I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to explain my feelings and thoughts properly.
Many commentators noted that while having a baby is not an outcome, measuring good parenting is difficult and largely impossible.
One commenter expressed her opinion, saying that, unlike having children, good parenting is an achievement, but conceded that it is difficult to measure.
“No one knows how successful parents are until their kids are adults, and until then, raising kids is just standard business,” she said.
‘Having a successful career takes hard work and means reaching a standard that not everyone can do. It’s okay to see a successful career as a much higher achievement than having a child.”
Another wrote: ‘I think raising well-rounded children is an achievement. But birth alone is not so much. Having a successful career and raising children is impressive.’
And another Mumsnetter added: ‘Having children is not a goal.
“Though it’s a consequence that I haven’t given or lost mine yet.”
Some commentators have pointed out that while parenting is hard work, it doesn’t require specific skills unlike many other careers.
Other Mumsnet users noted that professional success tends to yield more social rewards, as it requires a more specific skill set.
One poster read: ‘Any fool can get pregnant and carry a baby. Building a successful career is much more difficult.
“Parenting is hard work, but not a skilled job, anyone can do it. This does not apply to professional careers.
Another agrees: “You said it yourself: most women can become mothers if they want to; and frankly, unless they’re actively negligent or abusive as parents, they’re likely to be a nice guy. It can be hard work in the sense that it’s hard work, but it doesn’t require any special qualifications or skills or specialist knowledge, which is what a career entails.’
The third wrote: ‘I think it’s because having children is not an achievement in itself. Any fertile couple can do this. Most women have children, so that’s standard for most people.”
Many respondents suggested that being a parent is not “ingratitude” and that the poster may be looking for gratitude in the wrong places.
Many noted that not everyone can have children, while others suggested the poster might be looking for praise in the wrong place.
One of them said: ‘My children regularly tell me that I am the best mother in the world. This is the only review I need. It makes my heart sing more than my manager’s positive feedback. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places for the recognition you crave?’
A second Mumsnetter similarly wrote: ‘As for ingratitude, that is not my experience. I don’t expect thanks, but my daughter has always been very grateful for something. I don’t need anyone else’s thanks or thanks”.
And a third commenter added: ‘I don’t care what the company thinks. I don’t need any thanks for my contribution.
Source: Daily Mail
