You are on the door and you leave the window: Why will be responded to attempts to restore old return and relations?

“Hello sleep?” – A joke that has been scored in social networks for many years and describes the typical message of the old one after the separation. I’m sure girls, you’ve encountered a situation when there’s a person you want to forget. I’m not an exception, so it’s interesting to understand the reason for men’s behavior. First, “I want to understand how to act in such a situation in order not to step on the rake and to leave the winner from the situation? Second, learn why he returns again if he decided to complete the relationship? We supported a clinical psychologist Marianne Abravitov to answer these questions.

Marianna Abravitova, Clinical Psychologist

The first is why does it come back?

1. Awareness of previous mistakes: A person rethinks the past, draws the right results and sincerely wants to establish a relationship from a clean page.

2. The desire for the comfort zone causes the old chosen to return to a familiar region, especially in conflict with disturbing conditions and failures in personal life.

3 Fear of loneliness is an equally widespread factor that forces people to reclaim relationships, forcing them not to be left without just one couple and to drown the feeling of uselessness.

4. For the sake of creating “spare airports ,, especially entrepreneurial people try to keep a“ site ”comfortable, provided that the second side is ready to live unrequited love and always ready to provide care, attention and gender.

“In fact, you can rely on a positive result while renewing relations with an old partner for the first reason, so if a person is ready to work on his own mistakes.

How to respond to the attempts of the first to continue relationships?

Reaction to his ex -boyfriend tries to maintain relationships, first of all depends on your own wishes. First, you need to decide your personal desires. If you have decided on everything yourself and have planned to progress clearly, explain your location to the man. If the old partner refers to the desire to return, make an appointment in an impartial area and determine your own opinion.

At that time, it is very important to make a speech without mentioning the man’s past mistakes and your personal experience at that time. If you start talking about how he pains and imagined this conversation, the first one may decide that everything is still not lost. Such an offer can also be misinterpreted, because it is recommended not to present a male friendship as a relaxing reward.

The situation seems much more complex when you still love EX and you are ready to accept the proposal to continue relationships immediately. In no case, do not run into the pool with your head and do not pause to think about the answer. This will help to avoid a solution based only on emotions. Meanwhile, carefully analyze the behavior of the old partner’s actual intentions. For example, if you leave because of the carelessness and coldness of a man, follow whether it will change. If the first tries to be attentive and sensitive, probably a person can give a chance. If it is not related to empty words and promises, it will not change its habits and patterns of behavior.

In the meantime, we have previously discussed whether to remove the correspondence with the psychologist with the first, and what the recalculation of the messages caused.