Is it worth writing the first man: Fears and doubts that intervene in communication

It seems quite easy to show the initiative in communication, but what if we’re talking about the opposite area? After all, girls from childhood are accustomed to the fact that a man is a minister, so they need to communicate himself. But in fact, it doesn’t matter who to write first, because there’s no special rule to dialogue with men.

Psychologist Anna Glushneva told Peopletalk how to overcome the fear of communication. Most of the time it turns out that the desire to write to the first man causes excitement. However, in fact, most of the suspicion is associated with the stereotypes brought by society.

Anna Glushneva, Psychologist

Before writing, think about what you want to get from communication: a serious relationship, a light flirting or friendship. This will help you formulate the message. If you feel comfortable and confident in your actions, it is absolutely normal to write first.

If you are in doubt, listen to your emotions, because mutual respect and comfort are important in relationships and not to follow strict rules. The main thing is respect for yourself and the partner.

Can the initiative be punished?

On the one hand, the manifestation of the initiative can talk about self -confidence and interest. If the man experiences mutual emotions, he can accelerate the development of relationships. In addition, the expectation of the first step from it can be dragged and the activity from the girl can help to clarify the situation.

On the other hand, some girls are afraid to look obsessed or very appropriate. It is important to remember that the initiative in communication should not cause fear. The message should not be easily and not noted. If you constantly write and respond to a single syllable or rarely, it may be worth thinking about your interest.

Will men be blamed?

It is a legend that men are afraid of women’s initiative women. All people are completely different, so their fears are different. On the contrary, some men do not like it when they are in a girl’s position and always waiting for the first step.

As a rule, a conscious mature man wants to see a full Feded partner in a woman with desires and goals. However, there are men who are accustomed to control and rule the pair, so it causes the girl to show the initiative and refuse the fact that it seems to be self -sufficient. Such men are afraid of active women, because they can doubt their dominant roles in a couple.

How can I overcome the fear of communication?

It’s time to forget the cliché where a man owes something to someone. This is wrong. There is no condition for love in a healthy relationship, so the initiative from any of the partners is normal. Don’t think that writing first means to evaluate yourself, and if you succeed, then you’re special.

Tips from a psychologist

1. He did not exaggerate the importance of dialogue. Reminding that this is just a conversation can reduce stress.

2. Thoughts are positive. Don’t think it won’t answer. If you write, imagine that an interesting dialogue may emerge.

3. Parallels. Remember how you communicate with other people. If you start a conversation with friends, if you feel uncertain, this is not a fear of writing a man, but a fear of manifestation in general.

4. Write in advance. Try to write a message, but do not send it immediately. Give yourself time to get used to the expression.

5. Share experiences with a friend. Discuss your feelings. It can support you and help you see the situation on the other hand.

6. Don’t be a “queen of drama”. Accept the idea that failure is normal. If the man doesn’t answer, the world will not end.

Suggestions will help you to be more brave and free, but remember that the interest in communication is not the same as clicking and surrendering to an affordable man. Feminine wisdom is to attract the attention of the man.

In addition to finding a valuable man, girls have another problem – the old ones. We have previously told if they were worth deleting the correspondence with their old boyfriends. And if you have taken it out of life forever, learn how to be attractive for others without making efforts.