What do ex Alsou and Tatyana Bakalchuk have in common? Psychologist answers

The media is discussing two high-profile divorces: Alsou and Yana Abramova (read here ), as well as Wildberries founders Tatyana Kim (Bakalchuk) and Vladislav Bakalchuk (read here ). Both couples have already put an end to their relationship. But the guys are not ready to back down. Each of them has his own reasons not to leave his ex alone.

To understand what motivates men when parting and why they are not always ready to accept the separation, unlike their chosen ones, we talked with psychologist Anna Glushneva.

“There is an interesting expression: A woman’s mission in life is to develop her self-worth, a man’s mission in life is to tame his ego. The expert noted that it is much more difficult for a man to accept the fact that his woman is leaving than for a woman to accept it.

According to him, in most cases, men view women as property that must be protected from enemies. As Anna Glushneva notes, the “strong half of humanity” is structured in such a way that when a partner decides to leave, he triggers the attitude: “You are an enemy because you want to take away what is mine.” As a result, it seems that the “partner of life” turns into an object of aggression. But the psychologist warns that not all men are afraid to let go of “their own.”

“Of course, there are also environmentally friendly separations, where both parties are ready to enter into dialogue and friendly communication. But this requires special awareness and wisdom of both partners,” Anna Glushneva explained. According to her, disagreements often arise at the stage of property division. And if the financial side of the marriage is not documented, then this becomes an additional cause of conflict.

“When it comes to the division of property, men are usually confronted according to their roles in the divorce. In my opinion, any conflict situation in which people find themselves is the responsibility of both. Those who leave their wives themselves or go to another woman are often more loyal to their former partners. The same men who are “abandoned” by women or, even worse, go to other men are in the most vulnerable position and act in a very low, even cruel way, according to their emotions. The most interesting thing is that over time, when passions subside and the emotional state stabilizes, most of the “offended” men return to an adequate state and even return the property taken from the woman,” the psychologist said.

Anna Glushneva gave advice to women on how to avoid such situations, especially the humiliating treatment of a once close person: “Be sincere throughout the relationship. Do not be afraid to share your feelings and experiences. Appeal to the best qualities of your husband and discuss many issues in advance, including financial ones. And if you already find yourself in a divorce situation, for the sake of the children and your own peace of mind, use the services of mediators and family psychologists to maintain friendly communication in new roles after the separation.