Welcome to the embassy of common sense, clear logic and clear explanations!
Twice a month, The Fashion Vibes columnist Nika Nabokova, author, author of eight best-selling popular psychology books, creator of the Mindspa app (one of the top 5 mental health apps), analyzes topics that interest each of us.
About love, life, people, relationships, fears, courage, difficulties, happiness. And… about you. Especially now, when each of us needs support so badly!
Nika Nabokova, The Fashion Vibes columnist, author and director of psychological services
Absolutely any global stressful event, whether it be a pandemic, a humanitarian disaster, military operations, economic crisis, is accompanied by a flashback. People who seem to have started new lives without each other suddenly decide to get back together. What is this? The sudden realization of the value of an ex-wife in the face of force majeure? Or is it still something else?
Let me take you on a little tour of the human brain. The truth is that this thing, nestled comfortably between our ears, despite all its amazing abilities, has a lot of negative qualities.
The first is anxiety.
From our ancestors we inherited the limbic system, which constantly monitors the external environment around us and the internal environment of the body for dangers. If something goes wrong, if the limbic system feels threatened, it “turns on” the emotional anxiety state very quickly and sends a signal to another old brain structure – the brainstem (also called the reptilian brain). The trunk is responsible for our survival. After receiving a signal from the limbic system, she frantically begins to seek ways to save herself, for example, urgently to unite with someone.
And here the second feature of our brain comes to the rescue. It’s called … laziness. Yes, our brain is pretty lazy. And the ideal life in his head, when everything today is the same as yesterday. This comrade likes fixed habits. That’s why it’s so hard for us to reject something and get used to the new one for so long. Moreover, the older it is, the more difficult, because without special attention and training, the brain loses its plasticity.
So what do we have: a distress signal + the need to unite with someone to save us from this danger + laziness and the desire for familiarity. What’s the solution? That’s right, instead of looking for ex.
Other. And on the plus side of that, I think, a very dubious decision, an important feature of anxiety, it works. It’s anxiety, an extremely energy consuming thing, it consumes a lot of resources. Therefore, being in a state of anxiety, learning something new is very difficult. Just no power. Also, anything new is an added concern. Where else? Deal with what is available. Therefore, it is easier to go back to the past. That’s understandable, you know what to expect.
It turns out such a scheme: anxiety requires you to immediately go to someone’s hands, there is no strength to look for new “handles”, and it is scary to deal with them, we will suddenly reveal old ones. .
Subscribe already “Don’t buy!” You won’t have time to look back. Here is such a story.
Of course, I won’t completely write down the sudden manifestations in the face of the apocalypse, but to be honest, they rarely happen. More often, it is more mundane and is explained by primitive features of human nature.
So, when faced with a sudden urge to go back to your old skis, stop and analyze yourself: what’s going on, why you want to act in a way that drives you.
And then decide whether you need it or not.
Then he goes.
Source: People Talk
