My light, my mirror: 10 psychologists’ advice on how to accept age-related changes

Every girl dreams of eternal youth. We all want to look young for as long as possible and not lose our beauty. But unfortunately there is no panacea for aging, and even the most professional beautician is not a magician. Many women who want to hide their age literally become obsessed with their appearance changes and begin to harm their physical and psychological health.

Each of us at some point begins to notice what has changed. The first conscious encounter with change can be very stressful. Psychologist and developmental consultant Zhenya Romanova notes that she most often observes two types of reactions to it.

Zhenya Romanova, Development Mentor

“First: avoidance and ignoring the new in oneself. Often this happens to us out of pain and fear. Apparently, once you notice the changes, it will be impossible to live with it any longer.

Second: stress, high emotional response and lack of understanding of what to do with it. Emotional outbursts that everything is terrible, bad, disgusting and will never be good. Life passed like any joy.

To avoid such reactions, which of course will not bring you joy, Zhenya offers 10 steps to help you accept a new you.

10 steps to embrace age-related changes

1. Recognize and recognize them

The first and most important step is noticing age-related changes, recognizing them, and giving them space. And for yourself – it’s time to live with them and accept: “Yes, that’s right. Yes, it does. Yes, I am changing.

2. Establish a sincere dialogue with yourself

We should start with the question: What are my age-related changes telling me?

Analyze the situation: Now that I have changed, it may be time to change something in my life. What do I want to change? Where is my life not what I want it to be?

3. Monitor sleep patterns

Age-related changes are a powerful incentive to establish a sleep pattern, eliminate junk food from your diet, give up bad habits, and reconsider your lifestyle in general.

Perhaps the changes indicate that you can no longer afford to be negligent about your sleep schedule. Start going to bed at 9pm and waking up at dawn. Such a habit will certainly have a positive effect on appearance and improve overall well-being.

4. Prioritization

It’s time to rethink your priorities, remember your desires, or perhaps create new ones. Age-related changes may tell you that you can no longer put off life for later and it’s time to start making your dreams come true one by one. Time to act.

5. Realize that your time is priceless

It’s time to rethink where you spend your time. Time is an irreversible resource. It’s important to pay attention to where yours is going. Perhaps you are wasting it on useless experiences or devastating communication.

Maybe you have habits that are long overdue to change. For example, think badly about yourself, engage in an aggressive internal dialogue with yourself, or react harshly to other people’s opinions. The time has come when you are no longer dependent on anyone. All that matters is how you feel.

6. Get in touch with yourself

Women often think and care about other people first. About children, parents, colleagues, girlfriends. Learn to spend time with yourself, go to plays, concerts and movies. Go on excursions or go to exhibitions. One. It’s not loneliness, it’s the ability to be alone with yourself.

7. Negotiate with yourself

Negotiating with yourself is one of the most valuable skills. Make it a habit to regularly ask yourself: What do I want now, how do I want to spend this day, what joy will it bring me today, how can I make myself happy today? And follow those desires.

Many times we cannot agree with ourselves and neglect our own desires in favor of routine.

8. Find something to do in retirement

For a long time, I couldn’t decide where to study. Apparently this was my last chance to gain new knowledge. I chose between the Faculty of Philosophy and the History of Art. And then I realized that I love art, that it inspires me, and that it would be great to do this in retirement. To be honest, sometimes I even look forward to it.

9. Find inspiration

What makes a woman great is not what she does, but how she does it. It is important to act with love. First of all, to yourself. Choose women who will inspire you. For me personally, these are Parisians. Every time I fly to Paris, I can’t take my eyes off these special women. I admire them everywhere: at restaurants, at family dinners, in museums, wherever they go alone. I freeze from your writings on the streets. They are people who truly love themselves and spend their free time lovingly. I’m so inspired by adult Parisians that I’m glad to be at least somewhat like them.

10. Allow yourself everything

Embrace your age and the new features that come with it. Let age-related changes happen and at the same time let you be happy.