Marriage is dead, long live Pacs?

A request, a white dress, a restaurateur. Think you know the pitch by heart? Make no mistake, this isn’t a marriage: Alice and Jonathan have chosen to settle down. After a visit to the town hall, the two 30-year-olds chartered a boat to celebrate their union with their friends. No family, but good music and a photographer for memories:

“We didn’t want to confuse. First we had a big dinner with our relatives from afar, then a party with champagne and music for our friends. It was a nice way to break the codes and show that you don’t have to get married! »

Constantly growing cap

And they are not the only ones who want to get out of the wedding pattern: PACS are constantly on the rise. According to the latest INSEE data, today there are 9 PACS unions for 10 marriages, against 3 for 4 in the 2000s. On the contrary, marriage figures have been steadily declining since the 1970s. How can this be explained? “There is a strong rejection of the institution, both for its traditions and for the religious connotation that some see in it. PACS, on the other hand, draws its strength from its ability to appeal to diverse audiences: those who are totally hostile to marriage, those who are not opposed to it, and see their PACS as a less restrictive first step on the road to marriage. commitment, who seeks more rights than in coexistence…” analysis Wilfried Rault, sociologist and researcher at INED.

PACS: an economic alternative to marriage

While celebrations still affect only a small fraction of civil unions, they are on the rise. Noélie, 28, perhaps sees an economic reason for this:

“Our PACS was a way to formalize our union in the eyes of the state. It was an important step, which we lived as our commitment. We organized a large party with catering, like a wedding but with less confusion: there was no dress code, the organization was less complex and we managed with a budget of 1000 euros, all inclusive. Pacs is the ideal solution for young couples who cannot immediately afford a wedding, but who wish to celebrate their love »

A hypothesis perhaps not so far from the story: “there was an injunction to celebrate with marriage. This represents a heavy economic cost, which is more difficult for some social groups or people to bear. Being in a PACS means postponing this possibility of getting married until later, without totally ruling it out”the sociologist abounds.

“Some choose PACS because marriage has long served to exclude them”

Even the town halls play the game: in Pantin, where Noélie has settled, it was possible to come with few relatives, as in a civil marriage. “These are municipal initiatives that date back to the 2000s. The basic idea was to offer an alternative to marriage for homosexual couples who did not have access to it at the time”. A symbolic gesture whose traces can still be seen today: “The latter make more use of PACS than heterosexual couples. There is a strong ideological dimension: some choose PACS because marriage has long served to exclude them” continues Wilfried Rault.

However, a certain hierarchy remains: “It’s as if one were worth less than the other. There is a taboo around Pacs, I was even afraid to announce my decision to my family and friends, afraid they would not understand. I felt like I had to justify myself at all costs. says Alice. Luckily, his fears quickly dissipated given the positive reactions from those around him. Behind his first concerns, he received thick-skinned ideas: “In some conservative circles, marriage reigns supreme over any other form of union. In other areas, however, the PACS is perceived as more modern, and therefore better valued” continues Wilfried Rault.

Bypass parental intrusion

To limit the clash of cultures and generations, some like Jeanne, 32, have preferred to segment the celebrations:

“On PACS day, we invited our respective parents, who had never had the opportunity to meet. The four of them came to Paris in August, accompanied us to the town hall and then all six of us ate dinner at the restaurant. A few weeks later, we organized two weekends, one at my family’s and the other at his to celebrate our PACS with the rest of our neighboring families who live in opposite places. Finally, a few months later, we organized an evening with our friends in a private bar in Paris. Some have come from afar for the occasion, it touched us a lot»

Because PACS is also an opportunity to celebrate your family in the heart: “It allows you to circumvent the parental intrusion you may experience when planning a wedding,” says Wilfried Rault. There is less pressure than having to invite a relative this far away to look good. Many pacsés value horizontal ties through their celebrations, i.e. their friends ». Pac Romana?