Help, my office colleague smells like a dead rat, should I tell him or not?

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice covered in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to rescue a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

During delivery, a new colleague joined my team. We telecommuted at the time and we all got along great with him. He is efficient and very personable. Only when we got back to the office, we realized he smelled awful.

It may seem trivial, but due to our good virtual relationship, he is very often with us and is very close, and his smell is very difficult to bear. Everyone comes to avoid it and we tremble when it approaches. Especially since he doesn’t seem to realize how much… He stinks.

I’m sitting next to him and I’m having a really hard time getting used to his bad smell, but I don’t know what to do to tell him nicely. Help!

Hydrangea

Daronne’s answer

my little tree,

As I sympathize, bad smells are hell, especially in open-spaces where they flutter like small green parakeets (many and without the slightest predator to stem the unbridled proliferation of the species).

Everyone has the right to smell bad from time to time. It happens to you too. Never mind, the natural human smells like decayed fennec, and it’s only after centuries of relentless taming with abrasive soap that we’ve finally managed to transcend our true nature. OK well. But if you make an effort to limit the intensity of your tiredness, you have the right to demand that others do the same. I support you 100%: personally, people’s body odor annoys me, even when it’s harmless, so I can imagine your discomfort.

Fortunately, there are solutions. Unfortunately, the solution will be to warn the person concerned. Or poke camphor paste or eucalyptus, coroner-style, as a last resort. Yes, it burns, but also the smell of the colleague then…

Why do people who stink stink?

Some do accounting or project tracking as a job, I google” Why do some people smell bad? “. Each to his own. And so, here’s why people smell bad:

• Poor Hygiene: NO SHERLOCK SHIT!
• Health disorders that can compromise intimate maintenance;
• Immoderate love for certain foods such as garlic or onions;
• Consumption of alcohol and/or certain drugs;
• Fatigue ;
• Excessive sweating;
• Incorrect fabric washing technique.

What is good about most of the reasons that I have been able to list is that they are approached calmly and without taboos. GREAT. No.

Don’t remain silent though. If it’s not for you, do it for your colleague. As brilliant and funny as he is, people don’t like it when other people suck and he risks missing out on many opportunities if he doesn’t solve his little smoking problems quickly. As trivial as it is, body odor can be a deal breaker when it comes to hiring or social interactions. Here, then, someone is dedicated to helping this poor man.

How do you tell someone that they stink that they stink?

I see you passing the buck between sneering colleagues. Each secretly hopes that one of the others is drunk enough during the upcoming Christmas party to let loose. STOP. Don’t do it, it’s bad and someone has to commit once and for all. It can be a close colleague, a supervisor, or conversely someone more external to the team, depending on what you feel is the most benevolent for your co-worker. For the rest, the internet shrinks have set up a precise protocol to implement when announcing to someone that they smell bad and can’t take it anymore:

Talk to the person out of sight: “- Can we talk in private, you and I? I have to tell you something important. – Ah well yeah, I’ve got ten minutes, we can get a conference room if you want – NO NO, uh, shall we go outside instead? – Ok, I’m calling the elevator. NO No… Uh walk down 10 floors, it’s nice, isn’t it? “.

Be kind, but direct: before starting, you must reiterate your respect for your colleague and warn him that what you are going to tell him is not easy, but that in his place you would have liked to be informed. Then it’s time to get started. I even found (and translated, because I’m nice) the standard phrase for dealing with this kind of situation: ” I noticed you smelled pretty strong. Is this something you are aware of? And do you think you can do something about it? “.

Resuming the course of his normal life: it would be tempting to want to develop the subject and go from his own little interpretation of it like: do you know the principle of a shower gel? And maybe you should stop eating asparagus too? And then I suggest you… NO. You are not in this person’s life, stay where you are. Conversely, once the stink ball is released (sorry), the topic can be closed very quickly.

Things not to do:

Sowing clues: even though everyone has done the training against workplace harassment, there are still some who do not hesitate to make fun of the gallery at the expense of others. Bottle of deodorant sneakily left on the desk of the interested party”, Wow it smells bad in here!!! thrown around, many petty little attacks to avoid, because we are good people. At least we try.

Ask HR to take over the file: at the very least, seek advice from an HR person to know the best way to learn this issue and cover yourself, ok. But when it comes to breaking the news, it’s best to send your supervisor or a trusted colleague.

Blaming others: how tempting that would be I have anosmia. And I love you HEIN. It’s not me saying you stink, it’s the others “. Well sorry, but the speaker must do it in his name, even if he is supported by everyone else. And if the colleague asks if others have complained about its strong aroma, all that remains is to answer: ” I think if I noticed it, others noticed it too. No need to force the effect alone against everyone, the collaborator is mortified enough as it is.

Fire the employee for another reason: all because you didn’t have the courage to tell him the truth to his face, you cowards.

Oh lala, but how long is this Dear Daronnebut what do you want, it was for a good cause.

Come on, I’ll leave you, I have to go take a shower, my husband will be back soon,

bisette,

Your daronne

Photo credit image of one: Getty Images