I had a stroke at 21, definitely from tobacco and the pill

At 15.5, right after my period started, I started taking the pill. It seemed like a good solution: I was in a relationship, contraception came up, and I hoped it would help me avoid period pain and acne. The gynecologist who prescribed it didn’t really offer me any other options.

Two and a half years later, I decided to switch to the copper IUD – which my first gynecologist refused me, among other things, before I changed doctors – and I kept it for 8 months, but I couldn’t bear it too much. Side effects weren’t my thing, and at 19 I decided to go back to the birth control pill.

Being a smoker and taking a latest generation pill

Since this choice is linked to my acne, among other things I consulted a dermatologist who prescribed me a latest generation pill, without asking too many questions. Problem: I smoked cigarettes regularly.

For the next two years I continued to smoke and take this pill. I had no health problems and didn’t need regular medical checkups: I went to my doctor from time to time, for specific topics.

Until the day when when I was 21, I had a stroke.

A cross eye and a lot of effort

At the time, I was internship for the end of my DUT. I was drinking coffee with friends that day after a rather intense night of partying. We had gone to the pool a little earlier and everything was going quite well even though we were tired.

I did not yet know that stroke manifests itself differently in women: for me, the symptoms of this type of stroke were the softening of half of the face and its loss due to the use of one of these arms.

Nothing like what happened to me. I got up to go to the bathroom and my eye started twitching. I held on to a railing, feeling one of my eyes move all over the place like Moody’s Mad-Eye in Harry Potter. I don’t feel very well, sitting in my chair, and I tell myself I’m just very, very tired. After all, I’ve had friends over for three days and haven’t gotten much sleep.

No one foresees a serious problem

When it’s time to go home, I can’t walk straight because my eye goes everywhere. My parents are on vacation and to not spend the evening alone I go to dinner at a friend’s house.

I talk to his parents about my uncontrollable eye and numb mouth, nobody cares: we tell each other that I have to go to the doctor, but nobody considers it serious, or that I have to go to the emergency room. Strokes rarely happen to people my age.

The next day I feel like my tongue is huge

I go to bed not very peacefully, but I say to myself: “Maybe tomorrow will be better »

But the next day, I struggle to get to my internship. In the car of one of my colleagues, I can’t express myself clearly and the other passengers don’t understand what is happening to me.

In my workplace I don’t say anything: I can’t speak, my tongue seems to be huge, but I try to keep calm and manage on my own. My guardian, clearly seeing that things weren’t right, ended up sending me home.

I tell myself that I have to go to the general practitioner. I try to chase the bus, zigzag with difficulty and arrive at the doctor. I didn’t know her and she was amazing! He referred me to the emergency room, but he also knew how to defuse the situation. For a year after that, he called me the chameleon, and that made me laugh a lot!

In the emergency room they refer me to an MRI

My best friend accompanied me a tiring trip to the emergency room. I find myself in a room full of stretchers, they take my blood pressure and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I tell myself that there must be people whose situation is more urgent than mine, I dare not ask to take care of me. I still can barely speak and just wondering what is happening to me.

I arrived at 14.00, and I waited a few hours, until nightfall. My boyfriend at the time joined me. My diction got worse and worse and I started to panic. As soon as I tried to say something, I had to repeat it three times. I felt like I was going crazy, I couldn’t talk anymore, I was in the grip of wanderlust and no one could help me…

At 6am I was picked up and taken for a CT scan, with no results. I was advised to have an MRI, on which we could see more things, but the hospital couldn’t do it for me. I went out at Eight hours, and I went home not knowing what was happening to me.

My best friend and boyfriend were present and thoughtful. But I was less and less able to eat, to move, to move. Over the next week I tried calling various imaging centers in my area to get this MRI done.

After ten days, my stroke was diagnosed

Everywhere the appointments were sold out, they offered me slots far away and I had the impression of not getting out. I finally waited 10 days to be able to access precise images of my brain. Meanwhile my situation had gradually improved. I still had diction problems, my eye was feeling a little better, and I no longer had lifelong anxiety. My parents had returned and my mother drove me to the appointment.

That’s where I learned it I had a stroke. I was shown the areas of my brain that had been affected by the accident, those related to speech and vision. I was also told it was very, very definitely related to the tobacco pill and cocktail, which together increase the chances of cardiovascular problems.

Oddly, I was relieved. A stroke, we know what it is and I knew I could quit smoking and stop taking the pill so that my situation would resolve itself. The doctors explained to me that thanks to my young age I had recovered quite quickly and that I had been lucky: my stroke was mild. There are people my age for whom it can be much more serious.

I do my MRI, and that’s where they show me what happened to me, they show me the areas of my brain that have had a problem. I was quite relieved: a stroke, we know what it is, I can stop taking the pill and the cigarette. They told me that thanks to my age I had recovered quite quickly, that I had been rather lucky. There are people my age who have much worse strokes, mine was pretty mild.

after my stroke

The following summer, I told myself everything was fine and tried not to think about it anymore. But a year later, I had a major depression and I think these two events are connected: become aware of his death at 21, suddenly, it’s pretty hard. I have also had many panic attacks.

I stopped taking the pill and quit smoking. I moved for study reasons and my medical career has changed: now I feel very listened to and very supported.

In January 2020, distressed that my heart was failing me, I made the decision to have a heart rate monitor fitted. It’s kind of like a little flash drive on my left breast. At home I have a box and a small remote control that allow me to collect my heart data. If I feel something is wrong, I can click on it and it places markers on the data – it allows doctors to analyze those specific moments. It also makes me feel less alone!

Today I get to put my anxiety attacks into perspective. My follow up is regular and reassuring and I am well supported. I take blood thinners and will probably have to take them forever. At the same time, all my medical tests are good. I take care of my health, I do my best to make my dreams come true without delay… And I try to avoid cutting myself, due to blood thinners!

Cover photo credit: Karolina Grabowska / Unsplash