I found my first love 8 years later

Article originally published on August 13, 2019

I think I’m one of the few people who can say that I’ve seen love at first sight cross the eyes of the person I love.

Our story is worthy of a cul-cul la praline film, I want to admit it. We have known each other for 8 years and have only been together for 6 months..

My first love broke my heart

The first time I met him I was in fifth grade in the city of Orleans.

I don’t know exactly when I fell in love with him during that school year, yet I remember very well the sweaty palms when he spoke to me, the knots in my stomach and the incredible happiness of getting his attention and smiling from him.

I was in love with him, of course, everyone knew it and so did he. I wrote him a nice love letter that he read, and he came to tell me awkwardly that he was not mutual… While he glared at my “friends” who were spying on us.

The so-called “popular” friends of which he later confessed to being wary. She feared that this declaration of love was a bet, a joke … And because of this suspicion, my heart broke.

I held back my tears and, with the end of the year approaching, would soon be moving to Brittany because of my father’s job. I asked for a goodbye hug which never happened …

And I moved with a taste of regret in my mouth.

I’ve never heard of it. Time has passed, I grew up with this distrust of declaring my love for fear of rejection and heartbreak, and this fear of never finding a lover.

My failures in love

At 16, I was in a relationship with a guy everyone loved based on manipulation on his part … A relationship that turned out to be violent and devastating for nearly a year, for nothing. Since I’ve never liked it.

Later I had a long-distance relationship with a girl who loved me passionately and who supported me in this phase of reconstruction. But I have never missed her absence of her or her love for her as strong as she might have had for me.

We stayed together until I left for Paris to study at the Grande Ecole. Our story ended with my desire not to make her suffer anymore, to not be able to carry her as much as she brought me.

We stayed on good terms and today he was a very good friend who rejoiced for me when I was in a relationship with a guy I met on a dating app.

Very nice, very interesting … I loved him, but the love quickly faded as our expectations in the couple became different. I suffered from it.

And then it appeared in my Facebook notifications. Him. This first love of youth disappeared 8 years ago.

The day I saw my first love again

We talked and we met. At first glance the atmosphere was strange, nostalgic for the past and confessions of a love that had indeed been mutual. Hands that touch unwittingly, a kind of mutual attraction.

After this first meeting, we keep in touch and talk to each other every day. I talk to him more than I talk to my own boyfriend, and I see him every week.

Every meeting and every evening is unique, full of laughter, complicity and this intense gaze …

One day he takes me to the perfumery to share my passion for perfumes and their olfactory stories with him.

It’s dark from winter, the atmosphere is electric, our bodies look for each other without understanding each otherour eyes don’t let go and the moment seems frozen in stone when I hand him a perfume key containing the one I’m wearing.

I ask him to close his eyes and listen to the story of this perfume, its almost literary composition so clear and precise. And when he opens his eyes, our eyes meet and his eyes begin to shine with a powerful and sunny spark.

A flash had passed. A flash of love, I was unique in his eyes, the only person in this shop, in this city and in this world. Nothing seemed to matter anymore and no sound reached us.

Cupid seemed to have passed, an arrow in the heart, chills in the back of the neck and a lump in the stomach: how could I experience it when I was with someone else?

My first kiss with the man of my life

I tried to attribute it only to physical attraction. It took me 1 month to leave the person I was with, to finally settle down: I was mad at him for not being like my childhood sweetheart.

10 days after this breakup, I invited him to stay with me due to “travel time”.

The evening was great, lots of laughs, tucked under a blanket to watch a movie … The darkness inviting hugs and confidences, I was entitled to the most beautiful declaration of love.

That first kiss that sounded like a “finally”, like her lips should have been against mine a long time ago. It was as if we never broke up. My place was against him and his against me.

Almost immediately I thought about the legend of the red thread. According to legend, there is an intangible thread of fate that unites two people destined to be together. Those who are connected are connected regardless of time, place or circumstances …

No one has ever disappointed me, never gave me so many butterflies, never supported me so much. And I really think he’s the man of my life, it’s a test that’s deeply rooted in me.

My lover and my greatest support

But beyond the romantic side of our story, it is above all the man who encourages my professional ambitions, my environmentalist and feminist needs. He likes my boisterous and creepy side, my solitary and determined aspirations.

And for the first time, I feel supported and not held back. I am who I am and who I want to be by her side. She loves me like that, like a determined woman who doesn’t submit to what is expected of me.

I thought it was impossible, I thought my commitments were too strong for a man to accept me without trying to make me more discreet, or find me “boring”.

In the end, true love is this: let people be who they are and love them without wanting to change them.

But above all, support them and let them be tumultuous in their struggles. Even when the majority disagrees and does not understand, and especially in these cases.

I began to believe in a form of destiny, but above all in true and sincere love.