Our (not) very scientific classification of Buffy characters, from coolest to lame!

Article published in May 2022

Attention, this article will be full of personal and bad faith judgment. Now that you know, we can go.

I could have you believe that this ranking was written in collaboration with my peers, that we weighed the pros and cons of the personalities of almost every character in Buffy the Vampire Slayerbut it’s totally untrue, I’m all alone on this boat.

So I’ll give you my ranking from worst to best characters, and you have every right to say that I write anything, it hits me without moving the other.

Angel: Buffy the Vampire Slayer worst character

Angel, this good scam boss, is the worst of the worst. Silly, falsely romantic and seriously disturbing (I remind you that he observed Buffy’s actions and gestures even before she spoke to him), deserves to get sunburnt in the middle of the scorching month of August.

But because life is bad, Mr. Vampire was entitled to his status as the perfect boy and ideal son-in-law throughout the series, even when it’s gone like a mess breaking the heart of the one person who found interest in him (as he tried to eat her and all of her friends in season 2. Go figure out the interest some and some may have for this poor guy).

Tara: the sweetest girl on earth in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Attention, I feel that I will attract the wrath of many of you. But I don’t care, I stick to my positions: Tara really had the charisma of lightning. Silly, monotonous voice and uninteresting (and nonexistent) personality, it made me shiver as much as a kitten fart, minus the cuteness.

Clearly, if Tara has had any interest, it’s only thanks to Willow. All the rest, anything that concerned her alone was absolutely useless. Her past was boring too! Remember how she was afraid of turning into a demon because her misogynist family was boiling over the subject? Here, there too, there was boring.

Dawn: The key that opens nothing in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Dawn, Buffy’s little sister out of nowhere, he should have stayed in the key state and found a real lock to open, rather than an existing one. Relu, clingy, capricious and unintelligent, absolutely not needed apart from making a mistake in a corner where it’s still not much fun.

Until she presented herself in a completely bizarre way, everything was fine (well, as much as it can be in a city full of not very nice creatures), and I never understood the meaning of landing (and stay). Frankly, we could do without it.

Giles, the boomer who should have found a real job in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

So yes, Giles was the pinnacle of cool to solve for anyone with psychoanalytic problems. But in real life, if we step back two minutes, Gilles was downright odd. The boy spent his life in a high school library, making fun of a young killer by forcing her into a fight, all of which ends up beating up the so-called killer’s mother and moving to the other side of the country when we needed him.

Yes ok, he had a very good English accent, but other than that? The only times she made us vibrate a little was when he put on his baseball cap.observer-who-does-not-observe-much aside and started pushing the song, like in the musical episode. Otherwise, he was just a good boomer who should have found a job before his retirement, rather than giving advice, sometimes completely out of place, to a teenager who considered him his father.

Alex (or Xander), the one whose usefulness we still haven’t figured out in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Frankly, who thinks Alex played a very important role in the Scooby Gang? Nobody. Well I think. In truth, it looks like Alex’s character was created by the writers in an attempt to prove that solo girls couldn’t get away with it all the time. Unless it failed, dear patriarchy, Buffy’s girls have always been so much more beautiful and tough than the boys.

The only time in all 7 fucking seasons that Xander was helpful was at the end of season six, where he was the only one who could stop Willow from having a giant barbecue with the entire planet. But otherwise, it was more of a hassle than anything else, and that, throughout the entire series.

Buffy, yes-yes

” No, but Buffy’s character can’t be said to suck, it’s her that the whole series is based on! “Keep my beer.

Of course I can, I can say what I want. In truth, Also I’m not saying Buffy sucks, otherwise she would have been at the top of this ranking, with that stupid Angelo.

I’m just saying that even if ok, save the world, it’s still damn damn ” yes-yes my life is not easy “. The girl complains because she is in love with a vampire (sorry, but it’s not our fault if you have strange tastes), she complains because she has problems having a social life with her killer job (sorry but you still have a nice group of friends, eh, you are far from being a soloist), he complains because he has an ambiguous sister (on this one, it’s true), he complains because he has to save the world, and gnia-gnia-gnia …

I’ll stop listing all his complaints, otherwise we’ll easily reach 12,000 characters on this sheet, which doesn’t deserve so many.

Willow, the best of all in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You are probably wondering which character finds favor in my eyes? There is only one that, in my opinion, stands out: the prodigious Willow. Yeah because she’s a redhead, and her redheads will rule the world someday, you’ll see, and then because she’s the only one to have it the best evolution of all the characters in the series.

She goes from a model child to an emeritus witch, she certainly has almost destroyed the world and a little crazy, but at the same time she had mitigating circumstances, you have to understand this.

Willow deserves a whole series about her, unlike the most boring of vampires (I remind you that Angel was entitled to her spin-off, the scandal is total).

As for the other characters, I don’t dwell on them, because either they are the most problematic in the world (hello Spike), or they have such a limited interest that writing about them would require an energy that I absolutely don’t have.

Next time we will take down the characters of which other series in your opinion?