My sister doesn’t want me to visit her in the maternity ward, no, but who does she think she is?

Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice dressed in a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to save a reader!

The question for Daronne

Hi !

My sister is pregnant with a baby. We have always been very close and I was looking forward to this upcoming pregnancy and birth, but I realize that she has no intention of sharing this magical moment with me.

She and her boyfriend decided they didn’t want any visits. Neither in the maternity ward, nor during the first two weeks of my nephew’s life.

I feel betrayed. We have always done everything together, my sister and I. If I had a child, it would be the first person I would like to see after giving birth.

I live this shelving very badly, but I haven’t dared to get into the bacon yet. I understand that he is her son, but he is also part of my family. I’m afraid his arrival will take us away.

How to convince her?

Audrey

Daronne’s answer

My elegant little gem,

Oh dear, yet another complicated letter. No, I’m kidding, for once, this letter is not complicated: if your sister does not want to receive visitors during the first weeks of her child’s life (and after her too), she has the right to do so. Leave her alone, thanks for her.

For popular revenge, which is – it must be said – often extremely booming and scam, refusing to take in one’s family after giving birth would be a whim. Also according to the collective imagination, the child who presents himself belongs to the community (except when it comes to changing diapers and getting up at night, eh. Don’t joke) and all his relatives would have the right to see when it suits him. .. No. Stop.

Yep, as a reminder, the baby doesn’t belong to anyone. Even his parents are only temporarily responsible for making decisions for him, until he is able to do so. In about 25 years. The human baby is not the fastest in terms of development, although it is always too late when you realize it.

But hey, admitting, after all, it takes a village to raise a child, the village can wait two weeks or a month before seeing the divine child, right? And I take this opportunity to put it there, do whatever you want with it: since this baby and his mother seem to worry so much, I suppose you will be happy to offer your help and take care of your nephew so that your sister can rest? It is not true ?

Respect mothers who have just given birth, name of a pipe

Maternity visits are like coriander, no matter how much you love it or hate it with your whole soul, the topic remains totally anecdotal when you look at its overall impact on the lives of the people concerned. Those who love to receive people do not disturb their child and those who prefer to remain in his bubble do not make their little treasure a precocious sociopath. Everyone does what he wants in life.

I know you wanted to see that baby, but don’t make it personal. Your sister is content to prioritize her well-being and that of the family instead of simply settling for you, when neither your life nor your physical and mental health depend on it (but hers does on hers).

Becoming a mother is tough. It is chaos in the body as well as in the head. You have to understand that some couples prefer to take their vows in silence before making the big introductions. As it will be necessary to understand that for a few months, even a few years, your sister will be less available. From now on, in her life, there will be this little privileged being, and even if she doesn’t always want it, she is likely to come before her often. Be patient and understanding, this is what people need, not unnecessary drama.

No to dramas! Yes to non-dramas!

I tell you frankly, when I read your question, I tell myself that if you continue on this path, the arrival of the little girl will really drive you away, but it will be your fault and not your sister’s. I’m sorry, I’m not sorry.

Your sister is about to experience one of the most upsetting events of her life and this event does not affect you directly. Don’t be that person who rots a moment that isn’t hers with her useless dramas of hers. You don’t want your sister to remember the birth of her first child as the moment her sister went out of her mind.

Take my advice, my lovely piece of runny Brie, and you’ll be fine: if you have an opinion on how your sister should lead her life as a mother, keep it to yourself, unless you are explicitly asked to open it. . Be there for her, with kindness and without judgment. I am sure that by doing this you will be able to see the baby as many times as you want. Almost.

I leave you, it’s time for lunch and I’m hungry

The bisetta

Your Daronne who still loves you

Photo credit image of one: IvanJekic