I had an abortion, and that’s okay, I’m not traumatized

At 24 I got pregnant and had an abortion.

Unlike usual, I will not tell you about my life or the reasons that led me to make this decision, because I think no justification should be needed.

Sorry pro-life, I would tell you that already having a strong desire for a child, this experience broke me, but it wasn’t like that either. It is true that I would have liked to have been able to keep it, but I was very at peace with the fact that at this moment it would not have been possible and that instead I would have patiently waited for the conditions to be verified to embark on this adventure.

You already know how to get pregnant, there is no need to remake the mouse. On the other hand, I will tell you how it happened after discovering the two bars on the stick, and the 3 reasons that probably allowed me to live it so well. Because I am convinced, if everyone had had my chance, abortions would have lived much better.

Education, or how I’ve never seen abortion as something that made you feel guilty

My parents are already atheists and I suspect my mother is a feminist even though she has never put things so clearly. Add to this my grandmother, to whom I was absolutely not attached, but who nevertheless bequeathed the testimony of uncomfortable and unsafe clandestine abortions, and the taste for emancipation.

At home, I always heard that cuddling had nothing to do with breeding and that risking pregnancy by practicing it was the main drawback of a very interesting thing.

I don’t remember a discussion at the table between Roquefort and Danette where we would talk about abortion, but I always knew that the option existed and that if we got pregnant but couldn’t / didn’t want to keep the baby, we had an abortion, period. At the very least, what was unthinkable was just having an unplanned child.

The entourage, where the gathering of confident and caring kids

God makes them and then pairs them. I saw the two bars. 10 minutes and a number of “- Oh fuck guess what, I’m pregnant !!!!! later on, all my IRL and URL friends knew it.

However, I saved the manager for 24 hours, time to take stock and consider my options. When I finally let him know, he was attentive and very present. My decision was made, but I was relieved to have this experience with him when we weren’t even a couple.

If you think about it, he has done nothing but act normally, but considering the reaction of many cismecs in such a situation, it is already wonderful.

The environment, or the five that changed everything

I have been living in the Netherlands since 2008. I don’t know what it is like now, because I haven’t done it since, but 10 years ago it was very easy to have an abortion in Amsterdam.

After a quick visit to the GP to “validate the pregnancy”, all that remained was to contact one of the clinics that performed the procedure. In the Netherlands we have abortions for up to 24 weeks and welcome all of Europe.

Abortions are therefore practiced in specialized institutions, and those who say specialized establishments say dedicated nursing staff. And between those who have actively chosen to work in an abortion clinic and those who work on maternity leave and who deign – great sir – to catch up with the dumpling of a little brain … Better that your apple falls into the first category. Although I have never dated second charming people, apparently.

I called the clinic and got an appointment 7 days later due to the one week legal waiting period. On the appointed day I was greeted by a psychologist with whom I had to discuss my motivations. I did not expect such propaganda!

They push the pro-choice frenzy away! When I explained to the therapist why I was not maintaining this pregnancy, the therapist gave me high five and told me I was right! A lot of support, it surprises, but it also comforts.

I moved into the operating room and they started doing an ultrasound. By turning off the sound and rotating the screen. So you don’t see the embryo.

Then I was put on the numbing mask and of course I said it had no effect on me, before waking up shortly after in a recovery room. Time to regain consciousness and check that everything was fine, a friend came to get me.

I returned home with instructions and a follow-up appointment a month later where birth control would be discussed.

That’s it, end of story.

And then ?

I will not tell you that I have not heard anything. If only because I don’t know many situations in life that cause absolutely no reaction or emotion.

But 10 years later, I’m still waiting for the pain and the guilt.

Maybe if I hadn’t had an abortion, my life would have been beautiful anyway, I don’t know. Maybe I would have won the lottery and met a famous publisher in the process. But I have never regretted my choice, I still had a long way to go alone before I could welcome the people by my side.

Abortion doesn’t have to be dramatic, sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. Unfortunately, our society, even when it positions itself in your favor, systematically continues to present it as a sordid and desperate act.

Abortion is fine, but never without specifying that it was difficult and traumatic and above all never without justifying living conditions that are absolutely incompatible with the arrival of a child.

Unknowingly, people who abort continue to have to atone and, unknowingly, people are encouraged to develop feelings and emotions they might not have, or at least not as strong, had the narrative been different.

Sometimes abortion hurts, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it’s ambivalent. It is up to everyone to decide for themselves how to live it, without society coming to give its opinion.

As far as I’m concerned, abortion has above all given my existence the necessary time to blossom and mature, so that one day I can welcome my royal lineage. And when the time came, even though my first heiress (that fat troll) also made the surprise landing with me, there was plenty of room for her in my life.

Photo credit image of one: fizkes