September is HELL for parents (and especially for mothers)

It’s really a nice return to school. The children return to school and give us a little break, but not for long. September, the month in which the mental load of the daron and especially the daronnes is increased tenfold.

How not to get swallowed up by the month of September? This is the question that haunts me since I just dropped the kids off at school (finally!). The start of the school year for 4 kids is inevitably energy-intensive, stressful, tiring, exciting (yes, they have a great math teacher, everyone has their own little pleasures) and if I think about it, I clearly prefer the mental load of June to the big leap into the unknown in September. But despite this, if no one escapes this avalanche of things to think about and put on the agenda, we can try to organize ourselves without adding stress to stress, in silence. We can at least try. Yes, but how?

This post is taken from the weekly newsletter “Le Balagan” by our contributor Candice Satara. Candice is the mother of four boys aged 2 to 12. To receive it, you can subscribe for free here.

My twins are starting preschool and I’ve already been warned that they will cry and scream. My youngest is in the big leagues, sixth, also casual, stress is at its peak, and my oldest is in fourth. That’s a lot of 24×32 notebooks to buy (YELLOW covers please!) and pointless meetings to attend. I’ve bought so many compasses I could start a business, if I could find them all, that is.

During my recent insomnia (jet lag, I returned from vacation not long ago, while recounting vacation memories in my head with a silly smile and already this ability to erase the unpleasant), I thought about everything we should have done at the beginning of September.

When the beginning of the school year explodes the mental load

I’m starting a new job next Tuesday, I’m torn between excitement and apprehension. And I still have to… find someone to manage school trips, finish the shopping, plan the activities of the two older children, it costs a lot, especially when someone drops out during the year or skips the last two months without telling you. And I’m not talking about artistic activities, we don’t even try. Theater: 220 euros per quarter, arrrgh.

As for the little ones, musical awakening, baby gym, baby yoga, really useless things, apart from telling friends about them. September is the month of school meetings (with the one who pops the question at 6:45 pm when we expect only one thing to happen, to run away), of new friends, of grown feet (again), of the imperfect routine that imposes on, the sound of the keys in the lock when one enters, the bedroom door that slams because the other is unhappy, and the summer that decides to drag on or to leave.

Remove unnecessary things

Like January, it’s time for resolutions. We create to-do lists, some of which can’t be reduced, but others are not essential. And if for this back-to-school period I swapped the “to-do list” for a “not-to-do list.” That’s what psychologist Amélia Lobbé recommends. In a post published on Instagram on August 20, she explains that long lists make us procrastinate. Her advice? Remove things, eliminate bad habits. Determine “2 or 3 points that correspond to a real problem for us (…) Instead of adding, we subtract or replace”. Intelligent.

Of course we can’t throw it all away. It reminds me of that day I showed up sweaty at school on the wrong day for a back-to-school meeting. In my case, like many of you, I tend to overload myself unnecessarily. I think about the folly of wanting to try Yiddish cuisine at all costs after reading this summer Not everyone is lucky enough to enjoy stuffed carp (Elise Goldberg) or this eternal resolution to make homemade cakes.

And why not pancakes, I said to myself yesterday. I said this very seriously to my husband. “On Sunday I make 60 pancakes and that’s enough for the whole week (my son’s expression)”. The guy who is supportive of his wife and avid kitchen gadget enthusiast, immediately showed me a special pan with a high-quality non-stick coating (Hello PFAS). And then I thought of myself in my kitchen making 60 pancakes on a rainy Sunday in November. Depression guaranteed.

What else could I eliminate? I don’t know, maybe scrolling aimlessly on Instagram, X&co? I’m thinking of escaping from a linkedin time that really oppresses me. I’ve been told about the app A second which offers its users a short exercise to validate or not the relevance of the connection. And you? What would you like to remove from your list?

Happy back to school 💙💙