These 3 memories that will mark my children’s childhood (I hope)

When we become parents, we become responsible for the life of one or more human beings. Ensuring that they grow up in a healthy and caring environment is a real mission, often not an easy one, so that they one day become successful adults.

We know, parenting is hot. It is a permanent ambivalence, made up of highs, very highs, and lows, very lows. In the midst of all this, of everything that parenting can reveal about us, there are the children, the ones we wanted. Every day, for my two children, I imagine they have bowls to fill. Every day I try to fill their bowl with love, moments, laughter, listening, so that they feel safe and loved. Sometimes I can’t do it, I screw up, I get impatient, I scream, I get angry, I cry, I get furious, I isolate myself, I slam the door of the house, vowing to myself never to screw up again. It’s not true, I always come back, even if it pisses me off.

But in the midst of all this daily chaos, we try, together with the father, to implant in their heads small seeds, memories, moments, emotions, weapons that will come in handy later and that will build the foundations of their future life. It’s not much, it’s not very big, but it’s what we give them, as best we can.

Family rituals and traditions

Every family has its own traditions and rituals. Ours are relatively simple, but I hope they stick with you. They are small things, like Sunday walks by the sea – because we live in a place where the ocean often rages -, on Saturday evenings watching films and eating homemade pizzas, the four o’clock breakfast in our bed that ends up full of crumbs, the evenings of board games where we shout at each other for the +4s that are too well placed, the broken crackers every Christmas, the stories told every evening before going to sleep, the lunches after window shopping with my daughter without buying anything, the hugs that make the bread smell warm when you wake up, the hours spent watching the ballet DVD Swan Lakethe rainy afternoons under the duvet watching cartoons and the great discussions that go around in circles, but that we never want to end.

Their parents' weaknesses and their humanity

If there is one thing we do not hide from our children it is that we are human beings and that we are fallible. If the moments in which my children see me collapse, cry, are not good memories for me, I hope they remain in their memory and that they understand that everyone cries, that everyone can experience difficult moments, that everyone can have the feeling of being submerged by the waves that overwhelm. Parents too. Because in the end, often, there is sunshine, better times and days, laughter and lighter moments. I hope my children understand that we cannot be happy without knowing the other side, that there is no black without white, nor joy without pain.

Always love

Finally, I hope they remember that no matter what they do, they are loved. They are loved if they cheat, if they lie, if they throw tantrums, if they cry, if they complain. The love we have for them has no conditions, it's rare, but that's how it is. As parents we can be disappointed, sad, angry and hurt, but in our conception of family we cannot stop loving them. I hope that the power of this immense force that is parental love helps them to always be able to move forward and have faith in themselves, and that they remember that we will be there for them, whatever they do.

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