Visiting rights for fathers: this is the only opinion that counts, that of the interested parties

Emmanuel Macron said this in an interview broadcast by SHETuesday 7 May, which parents had to exercise “their responsibilities” has “two”. The head of state wants to implement a measure requiring absent fathers to visit their children until adulthood. According to him this visiting duty he must make his fathers understand “ It’s a duty to be a parent, and it’s a duty that doesn’t end at the moment of divorce or separation.”.

This decision emerges in a context in which 85% of single-parent families are made up of single mothers. In France there are approximately 1.7 million of these families, according to data presented by the Head of State.

So what do the interested parties think of this declaration?

The opinion of Mélissa, single mother of a 3 year old child

“I honestly admit that I was dismayed by this announcement.

Likewise, the government’s latest announcements regarding possible measures (such as the four-day week for separated parents during custody week, the establishment of a legal status for single mothers, etc.) have been quite positive and they tended to recognize this family model which is unfortunately increasingly widespread and for which daily life is difficult.

But this announcement seems retrograde to me and above all completely disconnected from reality.

In my opinion, a father cannot be forced to see his son. I see it for my son’s father. He sees him occasionally, I have a few text messages of him telling me he misses his son, but no action to try to see him more. For example, it has currently been over three weeks since he last heard from him.

If a father doesn’t want to take care of his child, why force him? This will be penalizing, both for the mother and for the child. The child may therefore have certain expectations of his parents when, in the end, the latter will only obey a government injunction to avoid a fine.

Then if on top of that the father is toxic, violent or otherwise… What’s the point of letting him into his son’s life? Simply because his father does a duty that he doesn’t want to do?

It’s sad, but sometimes, it is better to have the absence of a toxic or uninvolved parent than a punctuated presence that will only be more difficult to live with for each of the parties involved.

I find that this once again demonstrates the government’s disconnect with family issues or the reality of the French. »

The opinion of Lila, single mother of two children aged 7 and 13

“ Emmanuel Macron’s proposal “force” the other parent to respect his or her visitation and housing rights, or force him or her to have one, It’s complete nonsense.

If the parent has resigned, forcing it will only impact the child’s well-being.t (or children) and the peace of mind of the guardian parent. My eldest daughter has not seen her father since January 2020. Not that she rejects her or that I prevent her father from seeing her, but he himself has decided not to give any news.

Contrary to what some men think, mothers — because the majority, so I’m talking about this majority and not about the particular cases of fathers, even if they exist, but they are few — I just want that.

Let fathers take on their responsibilities, take their children regularly on holidays or weekends, maintain the bond… Let them separate from the mother, but not from the child(ren)! Unless the other parent is failing (with violence, risky behavior, etc.).

There is still too much misinformation about single parenthood. I see it in real life every day! For some, for example, PMA has no place. Or they don’t even understand that you can go from a well-paid job, to supporting your children alone, to another less remunerative job, and find yourself in financial precariousness. They don’t understand that the choice of a single-parent family is not an excess of matriarchy and exasperated feminism, but often simply a non-choice. Because sometimes the opposite parent never took on their role as a parent. Being a parent isn’t just about being there or earning money, it’s a much broader and more demanding role. »

The opinion of Paula, single mother of a 4 year old boy

“Personally, the father didn’t recognize my son – by mutual agreement – ​​so I’m not worried.

But I think of all the mothers worried about seeing their father arrive, not because he wants to see his children or because he doesn’t love them, but why he has to do it.

I think of the children forced to face this fact the father sees them only if forced by law. Even to those who no longer want to see their father (or second parent) and who will also be forced to endure this situation.

If the relationship between the parents is not healthy and peaceful, this obligation to visit will only make the situation worse. And I’m not even talking about it consequences for children!

I also think of the women victims of violence from their spouse and who manage to leave… but justice does not follow. Those who have been fighting for years to obtain legal protection. I think of those who don’t have one or not yet and of those who will find themselves with obligatory visits from their dangerous ex.

In my opinion, it would rather be:

• the right to request visits if the custodial parent wishes
• better implementation of judicial protections
• develop childcare solutions as much as possible, especially for lone parents
• that the president thinks before speaking and that first and foremost deals with dismissing those guilty of violence from his government. »

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