Frendflation: Why can generally empty empty free time be upset and what to do to avoid it?

A new tendency is gaining popularity-friends (British friends and inflation inflation) characterized by rejecting friends due to high costs for common entertainment. This phenomenon is noticed especially among gifts, travel and restaurants. Millennials is not far behind, but they are trying to maintain friendship for impression and communication, not material goods.

Foreign analytical publications spoke about fradflation in August for the first time. Financial Times met with a resident of Sarah, England complaining about his best friend. When he learned the cost of renting a room abroad, he refused to go to the Bachelorette party – 2500 pounds (about 270 thousand rubles). His anger did not know limits when the criminal of the celebration offered to pay housing with a loan. As a result, Sarah refused to participate in the festival and thought: “Isn’t it very high financial expectations in friendship?”

The tendency went so far that applications for searching friends in popular postures emerged. The ancillary program invites users to organize meetings according to “Free Entertainment”, “Existing Events” and “Rare Pleasures” categories. Thus, you can plan a holiday without going beyond the budget.

However, the presence of digital financial assistants does not help. Young people are still at high costs to maintain friendly relations. According to the Allied Bank study, one -fifth is forced to abandon friendship because of the losses brought about. As it is understood, 65% of the participants (more than half of the participants) communicate with friends at least once a week and spend a monthly $ 250 (about $ 25 thousand rubles) monthly. For six months, the amount rises to $ 1775 (about 177.5 thousand rubles). What’s going to money: joint campaigns in restaurants, gifts for birthdays, travel, concert tickets or other events. 25% of the respondents said they were afraid of being alone due to financial restrictions.

We decided to make a trend for details to avoid problems with friends and help you not to enter the financial trap. In our material, we talk about the main reasons for the emergence of inflation, and we recommend how a psychologist will maintain friendship despite different income and material demands.

Causes of Fradflation

Psychologists believe that fradflation reflects the fundamental problem of modern society – the harmony of human relations (the transformation of social ties and emotions into purchased and sold goods). However, according to experts, this tendency only destroys society, because friendship is built on mutual respect, support and sincerity.

So, what are the main reasons for fradflation?

Changes in leisure format. Traditional meetings are gradually replaced with more expensive contact formats. Previously, if Dost Communication is limited to home meetings, walks and free activities, now I want to travel, visit fashion restaurants and contemporary art exhibition with bright interiors.

Effect of Social Networks. The digital environment creates additional pressure on the formation of friendly relationships. An active lifestyle and a rich relief show creates a luxurious illusion in social networks, allowing users to spend money to impress.

Economic inequality. Income gap creates obstacles in communication. The different financial capabilities of friends allows you to choose the appropriate places, so that it makes one in a strange position. This leads to a risk of anger and misunderstanding.

Cultural Changes. The quality of the relationship is measured at the common time cost. Friendship begins to be measured by financial investments, not with sincerity and support.

Lack of open dialogue. Inability to talk honestly with relatives and friends about the budget leads to misunderstanding and anger. Silence leads to serious fights and lifting.

Why can differences in the budget destroy friendship?

We returned to Elena Kuznetsova psychologist for professional advice. He explained why the differences in the budget can destroy strong friendship.

Elena Kuznetsova, Psychologist

One of the most painful themes of adult friendship is different financial capabilities. And the issue is not only in money, but also how they change social status and lifestyle. In psychology, there is a concept of “social status olan, a person’s position in the hierarchy of a group. Money automatically affects it. When friends have a radical income, an invisible hierarchy arises between them that destroys equality in relationships.

A less safe friend of the winner of the winner has a desire to “recovery :: Pay invoice, give expensive gifts, offers trips. This seems to be concerned, but he puts the second psychologically in the position of “sacrificial”, which must be saved. Less winning, it includes protective mechanisms: desire to prove inferiority, resentment, independence. A person may begin to avoid meetings or, on the contrary, try to spend the last money to correspond. As a result, financial problems lead to conflict.

Change the money value system. When a person has money, their priorities change. In the past, it may lose value (long conversations, simple joys). And on the contrary: a personless person can begin to perceive a successful friend superficially.

Social Comparison Opened. Psychologist Leon Festinger explained the theory of social comparison: “We are constantly evaluating ourselves about others.” When a friend wins many times more, he hits self -esteem. By protecting, a person may start to devalu or take him away from him.

The communication circle is changing. A successful person inevitably falls to the new social circles. A similar level of income has acquaintances with common business centers. The old friends in this apartment may be uncomfortable and new connections begin to look more relevant.

Different life tasks. Anyone who solves the subject of survival is thinking about the basic needs. Anyone who is financially guaranteed goes to the level of self -realization. These are different floors of Maslow pyramid and it is difficult to understand people from different floors to understand each other’s problems.

How can I protect friendship with any budget

Elena Kuznetsova has announced that the interests of friends and social situations have changed over the years. And if you have similar interests at the age of 16: carefree life, work, the same amount of leisure time, then you enter into different categories after 20. A girlfriend can stay in the “Free Human” group and go to the “Parent” group. It develops in the “free workers” group and you are in the “leaders” group. There are fewer intersections, common issues. However, there are ways to maintain friendship, despite the differences in situations and gains, it is enough to follow simple tips.

Determine the honest rules of the game. If income is different from the radical, discuss it clearly. Agree on the format of meetings that are comfortable for both sides. For example: Divide the score into two, so we select the locations in a certain price range.

Find the activity where money does not play a role. Walking in the park, home meetings, free exhibitions. Focus on communication, not consumption.

Remove the status show. One friend avoids stories about expensive purchases and trips, and the other is constantly complaining about lack of money.

Get help and provide a tactile way. If someone wants to help the money and the latter is ready to accept the help, do it without extra ceremonies. Help must be voluntary on both sides.

Be honest with needs. If you need support, ask directly. If there is no power for communication – tell me about it. Adult friendship is based on honesty, not to predictions.

Reduce the bar of expectations. Have a friend of mine answered messages in five minutes and now in five days? This is not indifference – this is a workload.

Change the way of communication. Forget hours of meetings. They no longer work in a new reality.

When should friendship be protected

However, do not try to stick a broken glass due to all your strength. Strong friendship tested over time does not require constant evidence. Distance is based on time and change. If your relationship did not pass this test – maybe it was just a pleasant stage in life, which was time to complete with this gratitude. There are symptoms of sincere relationships that will help you decide on the decision.

After communication, you feel the fluctuation of power, not destruction. In psychology, this is called the principle of energy change.

You cannot communicate for months, but after you meet you, you can find a common language. High quality friendship does not require round -clok communication. This is an indication of the protection of basic compliance despite the changing external conditions.

A person supports your goals and changes, even if they are incomprehensible to himself. The principle of group thinking works here: a friend may not share your ambitions, but it will not devote them to depreciation.

You are ready to help each other in a critical situation. This is not a money loan, but about moral support at a difficult moment. This is a sign of real crop that goes beyond situational communication.

Source: People Talk