“At 29 I have to stop drinking because it’s out of control”: in the life of Juliette, a worldly alcoholic

The data is worrying. While the French still drink a lot of alcohol, but less than before, women are starting to catch up with their male colleagues when it comes to “excessive and occasional consumption”, according to a study by Public health France. Such “occasional heavy drinking” (called “binge eating”) is increasingly practiced among women over the age of 35. A worrying finding that doesn’t seem to bother anyone, alcohol consumption is now widely encouraged by society, and people who don’t drink are sometimes perceived as ” boring “. Léa Salamé’s latest release is the perfect example of this. The journalist had jumped “You’ve become boring!” » to comedian Artus who had just announced that he had stopped drinking completely.

Juliette spontaneously sent us her testimony, because she is one of those women who drinks too much. And you, as you tell us, you’re not talking about the addiction where we drink alcohol as soon as we wake up, not about this social alcoholismthe one who little by little takes up more and more space in his life.

Do you want to testify? Write to us at [email protected].

Getting drunk with friends is festive, right?

Today I would like to address a topic that I believe concerns many more people than you might think: alcohol addiction. So much so that there are more and more evenings with black holes, awakenings with strangers, days spent vomiting, not being able to work, spending on junk food with Uber eats the next day. Not to mention the mornings of shame when we no longer dare talk to others because we don’t know what we did, what we said. There are also arguments with others due to negative reactions to alcohol. And I’m not even mentioning the financial problems that come with it.

I started drinking, like many, in high school, when I was 16. It was always festive, but in the beginning it also had a specific purpose: being drunk with friends. Then in the last ten years, alcohol has always been part of the holidays. Among my friends I was always the drunkest one in the end, I never wanted to stop. And I was considered a fun person, with whom you create good memories. When I had my first romantic relationship, which lasted four years, alcohol made me have disproportionate reactions, discussions in front of everyone. I even went so far as to slap him in front of everyone. Make him feel ashamed, but above all make him sad.

An initial warning made me stop drinking alcohol

The first big alarm was when I was 23 years old, I was an au pair in the United States, and after an evening with a boy I was seeing, I woke up in a cell that made me thinkwith a huge black hole all night long. Following this incident, I controlled my consumption better for a while. Then I lived in London for a year, where I worked in restaurants, 60 hours a week. So obviously alcohol was part of everyday life. He was so present that on the evening of December 24th, all alone in my apartment with a glass of vodka, I decided to return to France, to Paris. It was too much. I then lived in Paris for several years, Covid blocked my going out, but I knew that my addiction was there, lurking.

An insatiable need for exhilaration

In the last years of my Parisian life, alcohol is present every time I see my friends, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, sometimes Sunday. I prefer not to eat before drinking, so it builds up faster. When I leave my friends because everyone wants to go home, I don’t want to stop so I buy a bottle of rosé to drink at home alone.

Recently, after yet another night without memories, I was told this the next day I spent a moment with a man who is having an affair even though I don’t remember anything, I’m still ashamed. I hurt several people, although I don’t remember anything. I don’t matter anymore the romantic relationships I ruined because of my attraction to alcohol: my excessive reactions that led to arguments in the evening, dates where I couldn’t stop drinking.

Read also: the testimony of Claire Touzard and Laurence Cotter, two former alcoholics

How far will I go if I continue?

But above all I realize how far I will go if I continue. So far no one has ever told me to stop. In my family and friends it is normal to drink. People who don’t drink are also called ” boring “. We love drinking champagne at Christmas, drinking wine on the weekend at Rosa Bonheur (Parisian guinguette) to celebrate the summer season, drinking a shot with friends to celebrate an event.

It also is and always has been an outlet to escape something in us that makes us suffer, a way not to face our deepest problems. Today I know that for my own good I have to stop completely, because I have never known how to drink in moderation. But what will my life be like afterwards? What person will I be? I was nicknamed “Juliette rosé, the lady in pink” for my attraction to rosé.

Am I the only one in this situation?

I bring this testimony, in which I won’t go into much detail, because there are many other anecdotes in more than ten years of consumption, but I would like to know if I’m the only one to reach almost thirty years in this situation. I would also like to know how to stop something that today in France is considered normal, fun. All my friends now know me and support me. Besides, in my family only my mother knows.

I want to warn you that even if you don’t drink every day, or you only drink to celebrate, this is also a form of alcoholism. Which can sometimes have serious consequences. My awareness and this testimony arises from a truly delicate situation the day after an evening. I decided to completely give up alcohol for a while and start therapy with a psychologist. When choosing alcohol as an outlet, there are necessarily things to resolve.

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