Many parents multiply roles, labels, and hats, which dramatically complicates their schedules. Our time, in fact, invites parents not to confine themselves to the single label of their parenting and to re-enter and/or remain in the job market until retirement; if this is their will. Because as you know, being a good parent doesn’t necessarily mean having to be a stay-at-home father or mother!
But while it is a beautiful principle defended by active and engaged parents in our current society, it is sometimes difficult to accept in practice. The reality is that we are human beings with limited energy and especially limited time during the day : It seems complicated to masterfully assume professional responsibilities, household chores and our role as a devoted father and/or mother who imposes sufficient authority.
Prioritize the child’s needs?
Despite all our good will, we are often forced to do so give priority to the child’s primary and material needs (eating, drinking, sleeping, dressing) and sometimes we invest less time and effort in building the emotional bond with the latter. And now the parents’ fault is coming to the fore… But one mother shared a theory on TikTok, which could help many highly involved but overwhelmed parents. According to him, yes 9 minutes that ” they have the greatest impact on a child’s day ». The idea, to take charge of our professional life without neglecting the well-being of our little one, would therefore be to focus on these specific 9 minutes – in case we really don’t have the time to dedicate other moments to him in full awareness of the rest of the day.
9 minutes that have the greatest impact on the child’s day: yes but when?
We are very curious to know when these 9 minutes in particular are located. Well they are divided into 3 specific time slots during the day:
- the 3 minutes that follow their awakening
- the 3 minutes when returning from nursery or school.
- the 3 minutes preceding the to go to sleep
If the momfluencer doesn’t explain precisely why each slot is important, we realize that they concern key moments of our child’s day; the saying moments of transition.
Important minutes that concern the child’s transition moments
According to parenting specialists, this is appropriate heal these transitions so that the child, very focused on the present moment, understands that he must move on to another “activity”, so that he is calm and not agitated in doing so, and so that he has in the long term this stability that derives from the “ritualized” side of the What. The presence of parents must be important and significantbecause they are critical and foundational moments for the child to create a secure attachment with his parent : he must therefore feel safe and protected there, in order to develop a healthy attachment style once he grows up (See John Bowlby’s attachment style theory).
It is necessary to “promote safety, coherence and meaningful presence, (…) to form a secure base (emotional and physical) for your child(ren)”, explains a family therapist to Parents colleagues .com.
Parents.com
Obviously, the content creator herself warns against the abusive and unique use of this theory: we should not apply it literally, focusing only on these minutes while neglecting the others, For example. It should not be used daily, only if necessary. The young mother’s idea was above all to reassure certain zealous parents and to sweep away their “misplaced” feelings of guilt: no parent is perfect, but everyone does their best for the good of their beloved little one; and if we take care of these 9 minutes, it is already a good start to implement good parenting.
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Source: Madmoizelle
Mary Crossley is an author at “The Fashion Vibes”. She is a seasoned journalist who is dedicated to delivering the latest news to her readers. With a keen sense of what’s important, Mary covers a wide range of topics, from politics to lifestyle and everything in between.
