“I cried for the first time in front of the solidarity supermarket”, in the life of Sandrine, a single mother of two children

The future is about to get brighter for single parents, 80% of whom are mothers. In any case, the government seems determined to tackle the issue head-on to finally ease the daily lives of those who struggle to make ends meet. He intends to create a “Single parent” status. which would open some financial and social benefits : the payment of family allowances starting from the first child, price reductions to facilitate access to public services, exemption from alimony. Madmoizelle spoke to Sandrine, 37, a single mother of two young children. Her touching testimony reveals the cascading difficulties faced by single-parent families.

No childcare = no job

“I am a single mother of two children from two different fathers, a 5 1/2 year old boy who is in high school and a 2 year old girl who will not be in school until the start of the 2025 school year…unemployment, and it’s not a choice. I can’t find nurseries with extended hours that allow me to practice my job as a heavy vehicle driver. My previous employer was understanding, but with my little daughter it’s impossible. I’m not against changing careers, but I live in a very isolated area, at least 20 km from a city where the sectors recruit and diesel is expensive. I have an unemployment rate of 678 euros, I receive 842 euros from the Caf and 120 euros in maintenance for my eldest son. All fixed expenses deducted, I only have 539 euros left. There are 3 of us living there. It’s very difficult. What weighs me down is the rent, I have 850 to go out at the beginning of each month, the expenses have exploded.

A precise budget

We count everything. I have to be careful about purchases and everything I spend: electricity, insurance, telephone, internet. My son’s father hardly gets it, despite traditional treatments. He gives me 120 euros, while in his younger months he earns 1800 euros. As for my daughter’s father, he is insolvent. Last week he deigned to bring me two packs of diapers and a pack of wipes.

I prefer to keep him away from us, because he is an unstable person and in the past he has been violent with my son. Not having to take care of him anymore is already a huge relief for me. Recently I have the right the solidarity grocery store, 22 euros a week, it seems little to me but the prices there are so ridiculous that they are a lot. But it was still a shock to get there. The first time I went there, I stood outside the door crying. I was paralyzed, I couldn’t go back.

The mental load of children

This is what life as a single mom is like: dealing with financial hardship, not to mention the mental burden when the kids are sick, sad, upset, and school, clothes. My 5 year old son uses at least one pair of shoes a month. How can I tell you that he never buys anything for myself? After what he suffered with my daughter’s father, my son needs psychological support, the sessions are not reimbursed, but I have no choice. I don’t want to condemn them, but I have the impression that three quarters of separated fathers have no responsibilities, they don’t care if their children are doing well or badly. Furthermore, they deduct from their taxes the alimony they are forced to pay, often against their will.

I’ll only be able to get my head out of the water when I get a job

I don’t even think about the future anymore because, without a place in a nursery or a nanny, I can’t go back to professional activity. And it would still be very complicated. Even if I found a job in my sector I would have to pay for diesel, Pôle emploi offers exceptional assistance, but you must have a contract longer than 3 months. And in my case, I am offered more temporary missions. The other solution would be to move, but with my house debt (50 euros) it’s impossible. I can’t give up, I have two children. I make sure they grow up in the best conditions possible, with love, a roof over their heads and food. Thanks for letting us talk.

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