Help, my friend wants me to buy her an ugly dress for her wedding

La Daronne is the queen of not-so-stupid advice, covered with a large dose of more or less subtle humor. Here she is back to help a reader!

The question for Daronne

Dear Daronne,

I have the honor of being the best man at a dear friend’s wedding, scheduled for this year. Recently she asked her groomsmen to order a suit for the occasion. The dress must be of a particular color, costs just over one hundred euros and the proposed model is customizable. The other witnesses agreed.

Except… I absolutely don’t need a new dress, the color chosen doesn’t suit me and clearly I won’t wear it again. And hey, by ordering a disposable dress, made in a distant country, in unknown conditions… I can pay for the dress, even if it’s not a trivial expense, to add to the expenses of the bridal shower, the wedding – itself, etc . Plus we haven’t told anyone yet, but I’ve been trying to get pregnant for several months, without success, and maybe (I hope) the dress doesn’t fit me anymore anyway.

On the other hand, my friend is very kind, very caring, her marriage is very important to her and she is very involved. I know she would return the favor if I asked her. I don’t want to hurt her.

Am I a bad friend and should keep my opinions quiet to make her happy? Otherwise how do I tell him? SOS!

Married

Daronne’s response

My little Babybel,

I hope you are aware of the controversy you are about to start. Why I do it, and I can see it from here:

“ – At my wedding there were two of us: my husband and I, and we used ourselves as witnesses, since we don’t need this to demonstrate our love for each other. »

“- I don’t understand the Rossoneri who need to invest a lot of money in weddings, I prefer small and spontaneous ceremonies. Last week I went to a wedding, they did it in a field, it was amazing (editor’s note: we are still in January). »

“- No but wait, it can be intimate and spontaneous, even with 5,000 guests. My wedding was organized at the Château de Chenonceaux and Juls performed the first dance, it was all confidential.”

“- It’s not because we arrived in a hot air balloon at the cathedral that it wasn’t easy…”

What are you asking me, honestly. You should have posted your question on Reddit instead of compromising me like this.

I’ll help you, of course, but still!

What do we think of the spouses’ requests?

Wedding is supposedly the happiest day of life. Personally I think this is a lie. It’s a black hole of anxiety from which you wake up with a hangover. But then again, I have a few acquaintances who have magical memories of their nuptials, so who knows?

On the basis of this postulate two truths are compared:

• The best day in life is lived only once, which allows for all the extravagances.

• Not the happiest day of the guests’ lives. That doesn’t mean they won’t have a wonderful time that they will probably remember for a long time. But we still wish them to live hundreds of days like this throughout their lives.

From that moment on, marriages become the subject of conflict. And what do we do to resolve conflicts whose cause is too petty to destroy precious relationships? Let’s find compromises!

I believe that the degree of acceptability of requests is defined according to the following criteria:

• The nature and intensity of the relationship
• The material and moral investment involved
• The behavior of the spouses outside the wedding period.

  For example, the tyrannical long-lost cousin who demands that every guest dye their hair green is not. Childhood best friend asking her best friends to dress a certain color is yes.

To buy the dress or not to buy the dress?

In the absence of a clear opinion, here’s what I would do: I would buy this shabby dress to please my friend. Too bad if I don’t need a dress (but I’ll come back to that a little later, bear with me) and the color doesn’t suit me. When the bride and groom choose a single color for several groomsmen, there is little chance that the shade will flatter everyone. It has to fall on someone, it’s the law of chance, let’s accept it.

Regarding your project, while I am not superstitious, I have always considered it a sin not to put all the possibilities on one’s side. In experiments on children I would be perfectly able to imagine things like these: “ Of course, now that I’ve spent 100 boules on the ugly dress, I’m going to get pregnant “. Followed by: “From everyoneyour way, it will never work! So I will also buy TWO COPIES ! » (Yes, you overestimated my wisdom by asking me for advice.)

Also, I guess if you’re pregnant enough that you can’t wear the dress when the time comes, your friend will let you wear a dress that you can zip up. Brides and grooms generally don’t like their guests showing off their underwear.

How to recycle the dress?

We’re not in 1995 anymore, I can’t tell you: too bad, you’ll wear it once (or even never, I cross all the limbs), enough everyone.

Of course I invite you to check that this dress is not available for rental or second hand. If you have to have this outfit as good as new, there’s no reason why it should languish in your closet for the rest of eternity.

You can in turn resell this second-hand item, barter it, rent it or give it away. If you earn from the sale you can also donate it to an association that defends the workers of these countries, suppliers of fast fashion.

Nothing stops you from turning the dress into a more useful item, for example a baby outfit.

Lastly, I don’t think you should tell your friend. I almost suggested it to you anyway, but I think your points of view are both perfectly legitimate and perfectly incompatible. Let’s leave the bride alone.

I’m leaving you, I have to cancel my Vinted order,

The kiss,

Your Daronne

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