How to write a touching wedding vow that will be remembered for a lifetime? 10 rules from PEOPLETALK columnist Anna Gorodzhay, co-founder of wedding agency SVADBERRY

Anna Gorodzhaya is a personal branding expert, event specialist, co-founder of the Event Gorod group of companies and star wedding planner of the Svadberry agency, PeopleTalk columnist, author of “The Wedding Without Marriage”, the only book on the wedding business

Correctly composed vows of newlyweds is the most touching and heartwarming moment, but not everyone can talk about love.

My team and I have been organizing and executing weddings for over 14 years, and our clients often turn to us for help preparing newlyweds’ vows. I received a lot of professional advice during this time! That’s why I decided to share my knowledge and talk about how I made my vows for my own wedding and how we can help our newlyweds choose the right words.

By the way, according to statistics from wedding-themed websites, the largest number of romantic proposals are made on holidays in Russia, so the material should be relevant for everyone who is soon waiting for one of the most important events in their life.

Below you will find ten life hacks for the perfect wedding vows that will turn your celebration into a beautiful declaration of love. Use one or more of the rules to create your own vows for the bride and groom. I will be happy if my recommendations help you choose the perfect love quotes!

Remember your best moments

Before writing your vows, look through your photo album and videos on your phone from the first days of your meetings. See images of unforgettable dates, kisses, travels, romantic walks. Remember the funny situations associated with this stage. Write down words and sentences that come to your mind while watching. For example, on the same wavelength, at the peak of emotions, an ideal dinner, passion (everything that is associated with every minute of your communication at the very beginning). All these phrases will come in handy for your newlywed vows.

Connect with your friends

Now write a message to the people who introduced you or to those who first observed your relationship. Here are some questions you can ask them:

• What did you think when you found out we were dating?
• How is our relationship at first glance?
• What unites us?

Among the answers you’ll probably hear: “You look alike,” “I knew right away that you were an ideal couple,” “You even laugh at the same time,” “This is the first time I’ve seen people who like to eat burgers.” These words could form the basis of the defining part of your wedding vows: “I’m just as good at singing karaoke.” “Because we were bad, even our friends immediately realized that we were going to get married.”

Get inspired by romantic comedies

Watch a movie about love that always inspires you; There are so many words said by couples in love:

“I came here without any expectations, only to declare that my heart belongs to you and will always belong to you” (“Emotion and Sensibility”)

“I believe in something. You should always confess your love to the person you love” (“Mr. Nobody”)

“I love being able to smell your perfume on my clothes even after spending the day with you. And I love that you’re the last person I want to talk to before bed.” (When Harry Met Sally)

Turn to poetry

Poetry and prose about sublime things will always bring to mind a motto and aspect of promises that could be used in a wedding vows. Remember the classics. Take the source and adapt it to suit you, for example well-known lines from Sergei Yesenin:

“I just want to look at you,
See the golden eye of the pool,
And so not to love the past,
You couldn’t leave for someone else.

Gentle walking, light waist,
If you knew with a persistent heart,
How can a tyrant love?
He knows how to be obedient.”

Sergey Yesenin

These lines easily turn into the following sentence: “I dream of always having you by my side, because my life has changed and transformed thanks to you.”

Dilute the lyrics with the prose of life

Now that there are enough nice words and they are both relevant and polished, let’s get down to reality. Dilute the intensity of passions. I suggest you use a few quotes from daily life. For example, “I swear that I will watch all the seasons of the Battle of Psychics with you, or “If you were a movie, I would watch it over and over again…” And also: “I smile, look at my face. phone, only when I get your messages” or “Life without you is like pizza without cheese.”

The ideal amount of vows for newlyweds

Structure everything you write and pay attention to its volume. A long text is always difficult to perceive, the meaning is lost and blurred for your other half and guests. The optimal length for a wedding vow is 10-15 sentences.

What why?

Approximate structure of an oath:

• Start with words – first impressions.
• Move on to the main part, the essence of the wedding vows. How did you realize that this was your personality and that this was the person you wanted to spend your life with?
• The last part is usually the longest. How do you want to start your family and what is that for you?

You can identify your values ​​with a person who is similar to yours and like yours – this always increases emotional impact and inspires confidence.

This should definitely not be in the oath words!

It is important to say what should not be included in the oath. I will try to be short and concise. Avoid always promising that you will live happily ever after and die on the same day. There’s nothing more permanent than being replaceable, and making death-related remarks on your own holiday is awkward and sounds like a threat or outright harassment. No one belongs to anyone else, we make a choice every day; being with this person or being with someone else. Only in freedom is there true love.

Ask the bride and groom not to do this after exchanging vows

When the master of ceremonies hears your vows, tell him not to ask the audience if anyone is against this union. There are always rather drunk cheerful friends who will start shouting very different things in response to this phrase, which spoils the romantic and light impression of the wedding vows.

What should you do if you are embarrassed to say your wedding vows?

In conclusion I will say that I welcome creativity and believe that each couple is individual. Therefore, if you are ready to move away from the classic rules of recording and vows, appoint a director to write the script and text of the recording. After all, newlyweds do not like publicity and public speaking is uncomfortable for them, but they really want to create a “wow” effect. After all, a wedding is once and for all.

I do not see anything wrong with the theatrical expression of wedding vows: there are emotions here, because the newlyweds jointly prepare this surprise for themselves and the guests and put their emotions into it. Therefore, vows can be recorded in the bride and groom’s voice or using an announcer. And at some weddings, I, as the registrar, made a speech on behalf of the newlyweds. Maybe your wedding will be themed, so the director and organizers will help you come up with your own creative idea.

More ideas on our website.

⁠Few people know, but I started my career as a top wedding emcee, managing wedding registry. I often helped newlyweds write registration texts and even toasts. After a while, I started to fully manage the celebrations. For over 14 years, my team and I have been preparing individual speeches for each ceremony of our favorite couples. Therefore, I really hope that my advice will be useful to you! If you are planning a wedding and need expert help with event organization, please contact us! I would be happy to advise you personally.